Cessation
by Xenoglossy
Summary: Two years after Sakura's death a haunted Syaoran finds himself caught up in a mess of rebellious cards, emotional strife and a mentally unstable Eriol Hiiragizawa. What does a sane induvidual do in a world gone crazy?
1. I not a big deal, just my sanity

**PRE FIC RANTINGS AND A SPRINKLE OF DISCLAIMER:** It seems all of a sudden, everyone is talking about Card Captor Sakura. Momo, of course, has been obsessed with it for about a year now. Caily is in love with Syaoran Li. Leslie has just started watching it. Kat and Jessica have always babbled about it. And even a couple of my internet friends have found a sudden obsession with it.  
*falls to knees* I give up. I'm liking Card Captor Sakura. I'm liking it a lot. *sweatdrops* I've never seen a full ep of the anime, and I've read a fair bit of the manga, but not quite enough to really understand what was going on, which explains why this fic may be a little skewered and messed up plotwise. I called Momo about an hour ago and pounded some info out of him, but even at that, he's only ever seen the English dub, and not even the end of it. So don't sue me if this doesn't fit in with the actual CCS storyline. Anyways, it's AU. ^ ^  
Um, the ages vary amongst the characters in such a confusing manner, that I'm just going to say that Syaoran is 16, and you can all work it out from that. So, four or five years after the ending of the series?  
WARNINGS are pretty light for this one. Darkness, violence, blood, death, insanity/mind tripness and Shounen-ai (aside from Touya+Yukito/Yue, the Eriol-Syaoran undertones are pretty heavy as well even though there's a great deal of S+S mention). None of these things to a great extent... yet, that is. *evil grin*  
I don't own CCS. Hell, I barely even know anything about the series!  
**ADDITIONAL:** Due to formatting qualms on the new ff.n net, and mistakes I've been noticing in the original script, you are now reading: 'Cessation, the EDIT'. From this point on there will be no more pre-chapter rantings except in extreme cases. Sorry, but I doubt anyone will miss them. ^ ^;; **Cessation**  
_Izzy Girl_ **I** _"Not a big deal... just my sanity..."_ "I think... that I am going insane." The dying flame of a stubby, melted candle, the only light in the darkened hotel room, flickering across Eriol Hiiragizawa's face made the boy's expression all that more grave as he set his large hat on the rickety wooden table and stared intently at Syaoran Li through glinting spectacles. Across the table's battered surface, Syaoran was seated only partly on his chair, leaning against the hilt of his sword, exhausted and still dressed in his ceremonial garbs. He shifted slightly, the bells at the end of his cuffs jingling heavily across the floor. He tilted his head and regarded the young magician opposite of him with very little emotion. "And what does this have to do with me?" he asked finally. Eriol sighed and slumped in his seat, massive folds of his cloak and cape ruffling as he did so. "Absolutely nothing, Xiao Lang. But you just asked me where I have been for the past two years." "And that's your answer?" Syaoran straightened his neck and fixed a glare, "That's your excuse?" "It is an answer, yes, but I don't feel I have to excuse anything." Syaoran continued to glare, but getting no reaction from the other boy, as he might've well expected, hung his head with a defeated sigh. "Well, you've picked a fine night to track me down..." he muttered bitterly. "Ah. It's been exactly two years, then. The anniversary..." Syaoran jumped and his sword clattered to the floor with a great deal more noise than it should've made for the sake of secrecy. He gazed at Eriol with wide, amber eyes, disgusted, "Anniversary!?" he demanded, his voice a threatening growl, "How can you call it an anniversary!? Two years ago this night, in three hours, Sakura..." he cut himself off quickly, turning his head away wearing a pained expression. "I'm sorry." Eriol soothed, not sounding particularily apologetic, "I didn't intend the comment to be hurtful. I understand that you, especially, of all people would have a difficult time talking about the mistresses' death, Xiao Lang." Syaoran winced at the word '_death_' as he leaned over to pick up his sword, and nearly fell over in shock as the dim room suddenly went pitch dark. He snapped his head upwards, assuming that the candle had given up clinging to it's last threads of light, but saw instead the faint outline of Eriol's slender fingers pinching the wick as his eyes adjusted to the blackness. Eriol's head was turned towards the window on the far end of the room that ran across one whole wall, floor to ceiling. He seemed distracted. Syaoran finished retrieving his sword, and held it tensely. He wasn't sure why, but being alone in a dark room with Eriol made him feel uneasy. "Why did you..." he began, but stopped when Eriol held up a silencing finger. "Firery." the dark haired boy whispered softly. Syaoran's eyes widened and he sank into his seat, nearly flattening himself to the table surface in an attempt to lean close to Eriol. "Here? Now?" Eriol nodded. "Is that what we've been chasing after all night then?" Eriol nodded once more and there was a proignant silence, shattered rather violently only seconds later when the door burst open in an explosion of flames. The magician boy moved quickly, grabbing his hat and materializing his sealing staff, swinging it in a wide arc around Syaoran and himself. It created a sheild of sorts, though not a very powerful one. The second blast of fire assualted the barrier unforgivingly. Syaoran was thrown backwards from the impact, but Eriol himself stood calmly in the center of the room, lingering traces of fire parting like water around the butt of his staff. When the flames dissapated, Firery slowly uncurled itself from thin air, glowing red wings flowing behind it like sheets of heat and pure energy. It regarded Eriol with a quiet curiosity, raising one eyebrow as if it knew him from somewhere's, but could quite put it's finger on it. "Why do you attack me?" Eriol asked of the sprite with contained fustration barely audiuble beneath layers of the usual, untouchable cool, "Why do you attack me when I am your creator!?" his voice raised slightly and he swung his staff again. A threat. The Firery didn't answer, but gave only the barest of shrugs and dissapeared. Syaoran, having pulled himself to his feet, rushed to Eriol's side. "What... happened?" he asked breathlessly, "Why did it just...?" The British boy shook his head slowly, "I do not know, Xiao Lang, but I do not think that we should let our gaurd down just yet. I still sense..." As if to affirm Eriol's supicions, both boys were flung across the room by an exceedingly powerful blast of stinging wind. They crashed into the window, and Syaoran felt nothing but heavy pain on his back as their bodies broke through it, thick, clear shards of glass raining down beside them as they fell. _'The Windy card too?'_ he exclaimed to himself, _'Back then, it was hard enough for two of us to capture one card... how are Hiiragizawa and I supposed to...'_ He allowed his thoughts to wander to more urgent issues as he noticed the asphalt rushing towards him with a ferocious impendingness. He fumbled through multiple pouches desperately searching for the Fly card, but it soon became apparent that there wasn't enough time. He closed his eyes, covered his face and began praying silently to himself. There was a jolt, and presently Syaoran Li, prepared for death, realized he had ceased his descent. Had he hit the pavement? Was he dead? The chinese boy dared to open his eyes and sighed in relief as he caught a glimpse of the sidewalk, no more than ten feet below him. He glanced upwards and saw Eriol, levitating solidly and holding his staff above his head, horizantally as The Windy glared down at them. It was a face off, if there ever was one. Like a grand old American Western, where the sheriff and the villian stood back to back, and the onlookers didn't dare to breathe until one had made their move. Syaoran held his breath, too, for he knew, whoever made the first move in this case, would most likely be the victor. The Windy spread it's wings and Eriol twirled his staff. Syaoran wasn't a hundred percent sure who had done what first, or what exactly came of it, except that he was falling again. There was a blur of black and blue and a horrible sound like the earth ripping apart as the wind howled in fury between. * * * When he opened his eyes again, Syaoran saw only the vastness of stars and sky. For the second time that night, he wondered breifly if he was dead, but changed his mind when he pulled his head up to see Eriol smiling down at him. He shifted, and Eriol staggered, tightning his grasp on the smaller boy as he walked. "Let me go." Syaoran whispered, placing a hand on the magician's chest and attempting to push himself away. "Let me go." he repeated, louder. "I can't do that." Eriol replied softly, looking ahead at the rows of houses and trees, "You shouldn't be walking." Syaoran glared at him defiantly and struggled with firm resolve. Eriol shrugged and let the boy go. The moment Syaoran's feet touched the sidewalk, his legs crumpled beneath him and refused to work when he tried to lift himself into a standing position. Eriol's shadow was over him, and he glowered as the taller boy slid supportive arms beneath his knees and behind his shoulders, lifting him with only the slightest effort. "You're as stubborn as ever, Xiao Lang." Eriol grunted, betraying exactly how much physical strength he was using to lift the young Card Captor. Syaoran didn't answer. It wasn't a question, although it was a statement that required a reply. Instead he concentrated on correcting the limpness of his legs. Were they broken? Or just stunned? Either way, why wouldn't Eriol heal him? "Hiiragizawa." Syaoran began in a curt voice, "My legs..." Eriol cut into his question before he could finish. His voice was distant and his tone severe. "It's eleven twenty-five." he said, as if the time held some signifigance. Which it did. "Four minutes!" Syaoran rasped, "In four minutes it will be exactly two years since Sakura..." He gulped deepy, and noticed that Eriol had stopped walking. The chinese boy glanced around him and noticed that they were at the Kinomoto residence. Sakura's house. Syaoran blinked, "How did we..." "I carried you." Eriol answered quickly, "You've been out cold for the past two and a half hours. And I thought you might like to be among friends when the clock struck eleven thirty." Syaoran stared at him blankly observant, noticing details like the unusual incresed paleness of Eriol's skin, the sweat beaded on his forehead, the ruffle in his normally silk-smooth hair and the strained look in his lavender eyes. _'He carried me... all this way....'_ "You should be able to walk now." Eriol said evenly, loosing his arms and allowing Syaoran to scramble out of them hastily, but grabbing the boy's shoulder the moment he was standing. He pulled Syaoran towards him gracefully, locking his arm behind the bewildered boy's neck. Their noses were nearly touching, and Eriol smiled. "A gift for you, little wolf." he said slyly, producing a handful of cards. Syaoran grabbed them and lowered his head to examine them with a bewildered expression. Windy. Firery. And... Watery? He glanced back up at Eriol wordlessly, but the boy simply kept smiling as if it were nothing out of the ordinary. "As I said, Xiao Lang, you were unconcious for a long time. You missed quite a battle." And without another word, the reincarnation of Clow Reed spun, multi layered cloaks twirling with him, and began limping down the quiet sidewalk and dissapearing into the night. Syaoran shook his head in puzzlement and started up the walk that led to the door of the Kinomoto house. Without even knocking he entered, took off his shoes, and padded his way softly to the living room. "Syaoran!" Tomoyo was the first one to notice him, but as soon as she uttered his name, Touya, Yukito and Kero glanced up and gave him surprise looks. Miss Daidouji herself had sprung up from the coach and flung herself at Syaoran with such power that the boy's joints began aching all over again. "Tomoyo..." he gasped. "Syao-chan..." she sobbed into his shoulder, "Syao-chan, it's eleven twenty-nine..." * * * _11:25pm, June 22nd, two years earlier_ "Tomo! Syao-chan! Kero! Hurry up!" Sakura skidded to a stop, bending down to tighten the buckles on her roller blades. She then placed her hands on her hips and twisted her face into a dissaproving pout. "You three are so slow!" "I have to change the battery on my camera!" Tomoyo called from further down the street, "Kero's helping me!" "Besides," Syaoran joined in on the long distance conversation, "You're the one on roller skates! We're all walking!" Sakura sighed dramatically, then pouted again, realizing her sigh went unnoticed. "Okay!" she called back, "I'll just go on ahead and you guys can meet me! You know where we're going anyways!" She spun happily and rolled down the smooth road, humming a random tune to herself. Behind her, Tomoyo fiddled with the latch on her video camera while Kero struggled to keep in the air while supporting the girl's extra battery case. Syaoran watched after Sakura worridly, "Do you guys really think it's safe for her to go alone like that at this time of night?" "Ah, quit yer worryin'!" Kero exclaimed, gasping for breath, "Sakura's mistress of the cards, not to mention she's a big girl now. She can take care of herself just fine. Or do you need to be reminded just how many times she's pulled your fat out of the fire, clan boy." Syaoran furrowed his brow, and continued glaring a hole into the place on the horizen where Sakura had dissapeared. He was oblivious to the grunts and commotion behind him as Tomoyo and Kero finally suceeded in changing the camera's battery. Tomoyo tapped Syaoran's shoulder, causing him to jump. "Come on, we should catch up to Sakura! We've gotta be home by midnight." Before they chased after her, Syaoran remembered checking his watch absentmindedly at Tomoya's mention of the time. The hands read eleven twenty nine. And it was the last time anyone saw Sakura Kinomoto, Mistress of the Cards. Fourteen years old. Her body had never been found, and no one ever found any clues as to what exactly happened to her, but Eriol's arrival just two days later confirmed that, indeed, she was dead. * * * Seven hundred and thirty days later, that very minute was observed with a tense and tearful silence. When the large, european style grandfather clock began ringing eleven thirty, the residents of the Kinomoto living room took a collective breath, and Syaoran detatched the still sobbing Tomoyo from him, hobbling over to take a seat on the coach. He noticed Touya give him the scantest of glares over the head of the cushioned chair Yukito was seated on, but ignored this. It was to be expected. The two had buried the hatchet long ago and formed somewhat a friendship of convienience, but it was no secret that Sakura's older brother still didn't care much for the Li clan descendant, nor was it a secret he placed a great deal of blame for his sister's death upon the boy's already burdened shoulders. "Where have you been?" Tomoyo demanded, drying her eyes and sitting close to him on the couch, "We were beginning to worry!" Syaoran raised an eyebrow at her skeptically, "And you wouldn't assume I was just out chasing a card like on any other night?" "On some level we did..." Yukito sighed softly, "But Syaoran, this isn't just any other night." Syaoran blushed and shrugged, reaching into the pocket where he had stored the cards Eriol had given to him. He layed them out on the table and watched with satisfaction as his audience's eyes widened abruptly. Kero glided down onto the coffee table and inspected the cards, tapping the Firery cautiously. The card jumped, and the little guardian flew backwards. He then fluttered so that he was nose and nose with Syaoran and stared dangerously. "How...... THE HELL DID YOU DO THIS ON YOUR OWN!?" Syaoran sweatdropped and pushed Kero away from his face, "I didn't do this on my own... I didn't even do it." The eyes got wider. "The how..." "Eriol captured them." "ERIOL!" Syaoran jumped in shock as Ruby popped up from behind the couch, shreiking her former master's name. He landed in a rather uncomfortable position, but was yanked off the floor by the guardian, her voice still set in a near shreik, "Li, did you say ERIOL captured these cards!?" Syaoran nodded deftly, and grabbed his forehead painfully as Ruby let him fall back into his seat. "It's been a long time since Master has shown his face..." Spinel stated simply from his seat admist Ruby's mess of crimson hair. Everyone murmered in agreement. "How is he?" Ruby demanded, her voice at a reasonable decible. Syaoran paused, not quite sure how how to answer. The magician's initial words momentarily flashed through his mind: _'I think... that I am going insane...'_ "Uhmmm... Eriol's... good, I guess..." his tone was transparent, and the shudder in his voice gave away just how insincere the comment was. Ruby titled her head and narrowed her eyes, obviously sensing there was something more Syaoran meant to say, but she decided to be satisfyed with his answer. The cards on the table jumped randomly, earning supicious glares from everyone in the room and causing the topic of covnersation to change abruptly. "That doesn't make any sense." Spinel commented on the cards sudden movement, "Those cards aren't sealed soundly..." "So?" Touya snorted, "No card we've sealed so far has been sealed soundly. A few of them have even escaped." "Yes, but... Eriol sealed these ones..." Yukito gasped, catching on to what Spinel had been trying to say, "Eriol is the reincarnation, so in all respects IS, Clow himself. The cards are not yeilding to their creator." It was quite obvious not one of the small gathering wanted to touch that unsettling thought with a ten foot pole. It was Tomoyo who change the subject once again, standing up and stretching her arms with a yawn. "I'd better get home before Mama worries too much." she flashed a smile at Syaoran, "Are we still on for tommorow morning?" "Mmm-Hmm." Syaoran affirmed, not looking at Tomoyo, but rather focusing intently on the rebellious elementals laid across the table. "Ruby? Spinel? You guys coming?" The two gaurdians followed quickly after the violet haired girl, having taken up residence in her house since Eriol dissapeared without telling them where he had gone. When they had left, Syaoran began gathering up his things in preperation to head home himself, but Yukito stopped him as he headed for the hallway. "Syaoran, wait." Syaoran turned to look the older boy in his eyes, slightly confused. "What, Yuki-san?" "How was Eriol... really?" Syaoran shifted uncomfortably. Yue was once a gaurdian and close friend of Clow Reed. Just how close the two were was a matter of great speculation, but it was natural Yukito would share Yue's concearn, after all, they shared the same body, and most likely, mind and soul. "Uhhh... not as great as I made it out to be to Ruby and Spinel." "Well no der, Einstein." Kero drawled. Syaoran shrugged, "I don't know, honestly... he didn't look to lively last I saw of him, but that's more likely because he had just fought and captured three cards at once and carried me a two and a half hour walk home... but..." he pasued, the hesitation causing his voice to become shaky, "Aside from that... he said he was going, uh, insane...." Kero and Yukito glanced at each other with surprised expressions, and Touya just looked confused. "Look, guys, I really have to be getting home." Syaoran ran down the hallway and slipped into his shoes and out the door before anyone could ask him another question. The last thing he needed were anymore complications in his life, especially complications that had anything at all to do with Eriol Hiiragizawa. * * * Eriol gazed out at the city lights below him from his perch at the edge of an apartment building roof. It probably hadn't been a wise idea coming back to Japan at such a time of the year, when he could be sure everyone would be gathered. It also probably hadn't been a very wise idea to meet with Syaoran Li, especially on the night of the Mistresses' death. And probably the least wise idea he had acted on all night had been to capture the three elemental cards and give them to the very same Syaoran Li. The sealing wasn't secure, and Eriol was almost certain that they'd break themselves free within a week. Maybe he was trying to test his descendant and his friends, just like old times. Eriol laughed, old times indeed. Perhaps, it was lingering traces of his fading childhood and his love of messing around with Syaoran's adorable head. He laughed again. _'Childhood? You've never had a childhood! You're thousands of years old, remember?'_ _'Ah, you, Clow Reed, my dear dear friend, brother in body and soul, but I, Eriol Hiiragizawa am indeed a child on the brink of manhood!'_ "Ah, Xiao Lang..." he said aloud, "Affaliable, mournful and ever loyal Xiao Lang. Did I not tell you I was going insane? Did you believe me? And what will you tell Ruby and Spinel? My faithful family? What will you tell Kaho when she asks? What will she think of me then?" His laughter was almost maddened giggling, but the part of him that was still clam, collected and eerily icy Eriol gained control hastily, silencing the rebellious giddyness of his father gone half. The laughter cut off abruptly, and the magician galred down at the busy streets. Black and noisy with angry streaks of red, yellow and white painted across it's glistening canvas. He mush rather preferred the natural starlight of the sky, but it was a rare occurance in Japanese cities to see the snight sky, stars in all their twinkling glory. He breifly thought of the veiw earlier that night, carrying the unconcious lump of boy that was Syaoran to the Kinamoto residence. The stars were visiable from Sakura's house.... Eriol shook his head, _'Foolish. Sentimental fool. You have more important matters at hand than admiring the beauty of nature.'_ He sighed heavily and stood up, staff appearing in outstretched hand instantly. A bright skeletal outline of a magical rune-circle appeared beneath him, and slowly, he melted into the night. * * * 


	2. II I breathed enough to learn the trick

**Cessation**  
_Izzy Girl_ **II** _"I breathed enough to learn the trick"_ Memory is not always a useful thing. The passage of time creates memories, both pleasureable and painful. The former are usually stored in a warm, cozy corner of the mind for handy retrieval. The latter, though usually blocked out and hidden with fervor, serve a purpose unlike their desirable siblings, in that they often teach one lessons in suffering, tolerance and other such important things in life. Then, there are those lukewarm memories. The cloudy, murky water in which useless and useful information meshes and creatres a swamp of half-formed "maybes". Useless. Tomoya Daidouji had a fondness for her happy memories that much exceeded the normal human attatchment. Once, a time that seemed a lost a lifetime before, she would faithfully carry a video camera over her shoulder, intent on recording anything and everything that brought joy to her life so that she could reflect on it later, and always keep those moments and those people near and dear to her aging heart. She wasn't exactly sure when she decided that she would film her classmate Sakura Kinomoto, but it was obvious to her that the other girl's cheerful, energetic optimism brought her joy like nothing else. _Even the happiest of memories can turn bitter._ Somewhere in her vast basement, Tomoyo had tucked away her camera, her multitudes of tapes containing endless amounts of Sakura footage and every single flambouyant costume she had ever sewn for her closest friend. Now, instead of editing her never-ending documentary on "The Mistress of the Cards", or working on her lastest design idea, Tomoyo sat cross legged across from her good friend, Syaoran Li, a thin piece of orange paper clenched between her fore and middle finger. Her massive river of flowing, violet hair was drawn up in a tight bun on the top of her head and she was wearing a tightfitting gi. Her closed eyes, furrowed brow and sweat beaded on her forehead added to the illusion. This was most definitely not the same Tomoyo Daidouji of memory. No, things change. Sometimes, at a pin drop and sometimes at the mercy of a tsunami. The only sure variable was that when things change, people change with them. "Red flame, I call upon the spirit of fire elemental..." Tomoyo flciked her hand, sending the slip of paper spiralling towards Syaoran with surprisingly accuracy. It burst into flame in midair, but the chinese boy still caught it with realitive ease, the flame difusing at his touch. Tomoyo watched helplessly as Syaoran sighed and dropped the charred scroll onto the ground beside him. She smiled weakly, "That was slightly less horrible than last time. I'm afraid I'm not getting much better at this..." Syaoran's expression shifted from neutral to slightly stressed. He opened his mouth, but was interrupted by Meiling as she stood up pointedly and strode towards the center of the room, stopping in front of where Tomoyo was seated. "You don't be ridiculous!" she began, "You don't have any in-born magical powers, and I saw Syao-chan hesitate before he caught that one. You ARE getting better. You should be PROUD of yourself Tomo! Not even *I* could do something like that, and I've been attempting this stuff since I was just a kid!" It was an encouragement, but somehow, Meiling's smug tone downplayed it and caused her to sound like she was simply talking about how great she was. Not that Meiling knew any other way to talk. It was somewhat of a relief that Meiling, of all people, never changed in a grave manner. Although she didn't escape the trauma of Sakura's mysterious death completely, she was still the same loud, brash, egotistical girl who popped up randomly at Syaoran's house during summer break so many years before. It was very important to her that she support Tomoyo. Since Sakura's death, the two had grown infinietely closer. Meiling felt as if she owed Tomoyo some sort of debt for supporting her in times before, even when the two didn't know each other very well. Now Tomoyo smiled up at the chinese girl gratefully, a silent conversation in it's self. Meiling grinned, satisfyed and plopped herself down between Tomoyo and Syaoran, forming a semi-circle of sorts. She turned to her cousin, still grinning and asked: "Isn't she doing great?" Syaoran shrugged uncomfortably. "Yes..." he answered truthfully. It wasn't her that he was worried about. He did not consider himself an especially excellent teacher and he had never even considered attempting to teach someone without magical talent. He was amazed that Tomoyo could do what she could. The only possible explaination was that somewhere, in her family line, there was a magician. Not a very strong one. Whatever was in the girl's blood was extremely weak, but there was magic none the less. Meiling nodded in approval, but wasn't done her questioning period. "So, I heard you caught three element cards last night, Syao-chan?" Tomoyo shook her head slowly, "Not Syaoran. Eriol did it. Right?" She flashed a large-eyed indigo glance at the boy across from her. Syaoran sighed and nodded. He most certainly did not want to talk about Eriol, but by the way Meiling's eyebrow shot up abruptly at the name, she obviously wasn't going to let that one go. "Eriol? You mean Clow? CLOW REED showed up and caught you three of the most powerful cards? Just like that?" Syaoran nodded again. Meiling stared blankly for a second, then her face slowly shifted into anger mode. "Well, where the HELL has he been before this!?" Syaoran shrugged, this only enraged her further. "Doesn't he think that we need some help here? I mean, you and Touya can just barely seal the cards! No one can use the key! The gaurdians are even helpless to do anything! Why..." "The cards he sealed weren't even secure." Tomoyo interrupted. Meiling stopped mid sentance and stared at her friend wordlessly for a few moments before finally sputtering: "W-w-what!?" "The seal isn't very strong." Syaoran explained, "The cards aren't yeilding to their master." Meiling frowned, "And... exactly what horrible thing does THAT mean?" "One of two." Syaoran held up two fingers as if to cement his statement, "Either the cards changed compltely when Sakura converted them, meaning the star cards don't recognize Eri... Clow Reed as their creator, or two." One of the fingers folded down across his palm, "Eriol and Clow Reed have become seperate personalities within the same mind. Meaning although Eriol sealed the cards, Clow Reed had nothing to do with it." Tomoyo and Meiling both gave Syaoran confused glances. "How do your figure that second one?" Meiling gaped. Syaoran blushed and looked at the floor, "I... I pieced together seperate comments. He said he was going insane." Tomoyo gave her friend a sever gaze for a few moments before she stood up and clapped her hands cheerfully, closing the subject abruptly. She was mirrored by Meiling, who stretched, the doubled over groaning. "Man, I'm starving. What do you guys say to changing out of these stuffy gis and grabbing some fast food?" Tomoyo and Syaoran were only too hasty to agree * * * "Teach me magic." Syaoran gave Tomoyo a wavering glance. She stood serenly, her deep violet hair fluttering in the slight breeze and looking decidedly morbid in her black skirts. The funeral had been long over, but Tomoyo refused to leave her friend's grave and Syaoran wasn't about to let her be alone. The two sat side by side, like protective gargoyles, observing the final resting place of Sakura Kinomoto. It was quite sudden that Tomoyo had gotten to her feet, bursting with vicious reslove, and demanded that Syaoran teach her magic. "Tomoyo..." he said softly, not wanting to upset her further, "You have no inborn magical abilities. I can't..." "You don't know that." she replied firmly, "The least we could do is try." Syaoran shook his head, "I told you Tomoyo. If you don't have any magical blood, there's nothing I can do." Tomoyo's glassy eyes misted and she took a deep, shuddering breath. She turned her back to her friend and when she spoke again, her voice was rock solid. "Syaoran, I have to do this." Syaoran was thrown off gaurd by her determintation. He tipped his head and asked: "Why?" She turned to face him again, tears streaming down her pale face, "Because... Sakura's gone! I can't just DO NOTHING." she choked, but continued, "The... the cards dissapeared... who knows what will happen now. You can't do everything on your own. I just want to help...." * * * Meiling snorted over her chocolate milkshake as Tomoyo giggled quietly at her own joke. After the fit calmed down, both girls shot glances at the ever stotic Syaoran. Tomoyo raised her eyebrow, "Come now, Syaoran, you aren't so mature that you're not allowed to have a sense of humour!" she scolded. Meiling laughed again and nudged her cousin roughly, "Tomoyo, I don't think it has anything to do with maturity. Syao-chan never did have a sense of humour. Isn't that right." Syaoran blushed and shrunk in his seat. _'Why is it that girls always know how to make me feel like a cursed idiot._' He glanced around the tiny outdoor cafe self-conciously, but the dining area was populated in only patches. He attempted to defend himself anyways, "I, uh..." "I remember Sakura could make you laugh." Meiling said pointedly, then aquiring a look as if she wanted to slap herself. An impending doom of silence enveloped the small gathering, and Meiling poked her salad listlessly with the tip of her porcelin chopsticks looking as if she wanted to apologize, but wasn't quite sure how to do it. Syaoran shot concerned looks in Tomoyo's direction, but the girl, who's wavy hair now flowed freely down her back, remained reserved. She placed her chopsticks beside her plate gently and sighed. "It's alright... maybe... sometimes maybe we should talk about Sakura..." Meiling dropped her chopsticks, lips quivering, "No. No, we shouldn't... I'm sorry I said anything, just forget it." "No, Meiling. It's been two years..." "Two years too long..." Syaoran muttered, turning his head away from the girls. They both shot him curious looks. Meiling retrieved her chopsticks and continued eating. Tomoyo stared at the blank wallspace, as if the cherrywood tiling held the answers of the universe. "So...." Meiling coughed awkwardly, having gained control of her quivering lip, "Have you guys seen that new movie?" Tomoyo blinked, her blank face becoming suddenly livid. She leaned towards Meiling, eyes glistening with intrest, "Which movie?" Meiling shrugged and shifted uncomfortably, "Uh, um... y'know... the one with the guy..." Syaoran rolled his head around to face her, his mouth twisted in a wry half grin, "You don't have the slightest idea what you're talking about, do you?" Meiling glared defensively, "I do too. It's with the GUY! You know." Tomoyo nodded gravely, "Oh yes, the GUY. Everyone knows about the guy." Syaoran sighed, "In that case, I still don't feel excluded from your teeny-bopper click of guy worshippers, whatever you intended me to think." Tomoyo gaspaed mock dramatically, "Why Syaoran, why do you think us so.... duplicious!" Syaoran rolled his eyes. Meiling's answer to that particular gesture was to stick out her tounge and say: "At least WE know what we're talking about! EVERYONE knows who the GUY is!" "You mean the GUY in that new movie?" All three heads snapped up and to the left. Yukito smiled down at the younger kids warmly, but when he opened his eyes, they were plainly troubled. He gracefully pulled a chair from a neighbouring table and took a seat to Syaoran's left, between the chinese boy and his cousin. Syaoran cursed inwardly as he felt the visious blush creeping up his cheeks. Even after so many years, he was slightly ashamed that the magical resonace about Yukito's being still affected him in a way which suggested he held affection for the older boy. He cleared his throat and made as if to question Yukito on his sudden apperance, but Meiling beat him to it. "I'm supposing this means something absolutely disruptive to the enjoyment of my milkshake." she grated, glaring at the fair-haired induvidual next to her as if it was his fault. Yukito nodded somberly, glancing around him distractedly. VERY distractedly considering he was seated at a table crowded with a five course lunch. Thinking of the lunch, Syaoran eyed the food disdainfully. Girls ate like starving water yaks, then had the nerve to call boys pigs... He shrugged the thought away and gave Meiling a dissaproving gaze. He then turned all his attention to Yukito. "She meant to ask you why you are here, Yukito-san." There was the cursed blush again. Yukito bit his lip and looked away quickly before looking at Tomoyo, Meiling and Syaoran again. He leaned towards the center of the table and the three teens leaned with him. When he spoke, it was a barely audible, and plainly terrifyed whisper. "Something is building..." he muttered, "Can't you feel it in the air?" No reply. Yukito sighed and bit his lip again. "Yuki, stop dancing around the subject, we're old enough..." The glassed boy cut Meiling off abruptly, "Kero, Ruby and Spinel are unable to transform to their borrowed forms, and..." he paused as his entire boy twitched rather violently, "... and Yue... I think Yue is having a hard time holding on..." he shivered and leaned back in his chair, "I... I just think something is coming... something... I..." "Syaoran did say he saw Eriol..." Tomoyo suggested softly, "He trapped Kero and Yue in their..." she stopped herself short and let out a soft sigh, "But no, that can't be right..." She shot a meaningful look towards Syaoran, though what exactly it meant was lost on the brown haired boy, who simply nodded as if he understood, then resumed studying his older friend. Yukito had changed as much as anyone in the two years, having become aware of Yue, an entire seperate persona and PERSON, residing within him. He had retained his childish innocence and niaviety, if only in outward mannerisms. His eyes, Syaoran noticed, were darker than he remembered. Yukito stood abruptly, still holding himself as if his thoughts caused him to be physically chilled. "I... had better be going..." he murmered distantly. He smiled and nodded a polite farewell and hurried off, melting into the crowd almost unnaturally. Syaoran, Tomoyo and Meiling stared at each other blankly. "Well..." Meiling heaved a quiet false-cough and had begun her second conversation un-lulling of the afternoon when, VERY suddenly, a huge column, for lack of better word, GROUND thrust up no more than ten feet from the cafe. Sidewalk and road split and crumbled, people screamed and the lunch party continued to stare, if only shifting the direction of their gaze. The huge tower of rock and dirt stood like a monolith in the center of the road, obscuring the sun and sky, and rivaling the height of the surrounding buildings. When the screaming had died down there was only stunned silence. Through the veil of quiet, all that could be heard was the grinding of Meiling's teeth. "How... random..." she commented through clenched teeth, "Indeed." Syaoran agreed, barely aware of the vicious twitch his left eye had adopted. "Well, you had better get to work, Syao-chan." Tomoyo smiled kindly and placed a hand on his shoulder. He slowly turned his head to face her, still twitching, and glared. "Don't take a fit." The dark haired girl scolded in an even tone, "You ARE the only one who can do it, after all." Syaoran started at those words, his carefully constructed irritation crumbling... * * * _"So what are you going to do?" Why me?" "You're the only one left who can do anything." "What makes you say that?" "You're being the only one is what makes me say that." "What about you?" "..." "You can do something!" "Don't be so sure." "Hiiragizawa, I hate to say this, but I was really counting on you. What do you think..." "I think that I am going to dissapear for a while." ".... what?" "I'm going to dissapear." "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" "It means exactly that." "Why?" "... I'm just not myself anymore. My staying here would put others in danger." "You're leaving would endanger everyone even more so! You're the most powerful of any of us!" "Wow. That must have been difficult for you to say, Xiao Lang." "Not when it's the truth. The cards are dangerous now, they..." "What makes you think they'd obey even their own creator, then?" "How would you know unless you at least tried!" "I'm sorry. I can't do anything..." "You coward..." "... but remember, you can. With strength of resolve and purity of the heart. I believe in you Xiao Lang." "... thanks." "Was that sarcasm? How ungrateful the little wolf is today." "Shut up. Don't call me that." "I'm leaving soon, Xiao Lang. Our paths may never cross again. Don't you have any kind words to give me as parting gifts?" "For you? Never."_ * * * "Don't say that!" Syaoran snapped suddenly. Tomoyo looked slightly taken aback in the only way Tomoyo Daidouji knew how to look taken aback. She seemed on the verge of tears. Instantly, Syaoran reddened, both embarassed and regretful. "You insensitive p-pr... PIG!" Meiling barely contained the slurs dancing on her tounge, "Tomoyo was just trying to wish you good luck! You don't deserve any of it!" Meiling leapt from her seat and grabbed her cousin by the sruff of his neck, yanking him to his feet and sparing none for finesse or gentality. "Now draw your sword and seal that damn card." she growled threatengly, "Or I-I-I... I'll make you regreat the day your mother first laid eyes on my father's brother!" Syaoran wasn't sure whether to laugh at the stiff formality of the taunt, or sweat buckets at the dangerous glint in her dark eyes. Either way, he turned his back to her and fumbled for the lacoured orb, finely carved and decorated with a mess of silk tassels. He held it before him and chanted softly, tossing it in the air, and catching the hilt of his sword as the orb reconnected with his hands. As he did this, another explosion of earth erupted, this one so close that Syaoran, Meiling and Tomoyo were forced to their feet and most of the cafe chairs tipped simultaneously on their sides. Syaoran rolled as he hit the ground, and came up on one knee and one foot. He glanced up the thin structure that loomed before him, arcingly massive. Last time, when Sakura had fought the Earthy card, it was spontaneous and unpredictable with no set course or pattern. It attacked quickly and destructively. This... this was too percise. Too conincidently. Too calculated. As if... it had been planned. 


	3. III Presentiment is that long shadow on ...

**Cessation**  
_Izzy Girl_ **III** _"Presentiment is that long shadow on the lawn..."_ Yue watched from the rooftops as Syaoran Li darted about, narrowly dodging the jutting outbursts of rubble that pursued him. After a moment, he turned his head in disdain, unable to watch anymore. "I have a bad feeling." he muttered, crossing his arms across his chest. "When do you not have a bad feeling." Keroberos sighed from beside him, still watching the battle intently, "I take it you are not impressed with the Li boy's skills?" Yue's expression changed subtly. VERY subtly. Unless one had been acquainted with the Gaurdian for some odd hundred years, it would be impossible to tell. "My premonition has nothing to do with the Li boy." he said calmly. "Then what does it have to do with?" Kero wondered, his tone slightly exasperated. "Everything but." Yue replied simply, "The cards, for one, my human host, Yukito, and Clow himself." These worries were perhaps all a given. With no way to properally seal the cards, they were essentially helpless. Eriol, or as Yue referred to him, Clow, had reappeared after four years only to reveal that he also had no power over the situation, and to make matters worse, the body in which the Moon gaurdian dwelt had begun to grow restless. "What is this about Yukito?" "I think that he wishes to seperate himself from me..." Keroberos was silent a moment before saying: "Wouldn't that... destroy you both?" "Maybe." Another stretch of silence. The battle waged below them. "Well..." Kero cleared his throat huskily and shifted on his haunches, "Clan boy down there doesn't look too comfortable. Shall we intervene?" Yue didn't answer aloud. Instead, he slowly rose to his feet. * * * Syaoran had paused momentarily, gasping for breath, to regard the sky. It was mid morning, that's to say it was almost noon, and the sky was at it's finest shade of indigo. It would appear cloudless, but if one was to shift their head slightly, it was impossible to miss the storm building in the distance. "Shit!" Syaoran exclaimed quite suddenly, "Shit, shit, shit, shit, SHIT!" Feeling profoundly relieved in his careless use of profanity, the chinese boy hastily drew his sword and began digging around in his pocket for something useful. He found himself staring at the Watery, ironically enough. He clucthed it tightly between his fore and middle finger, half afraid it would turn on him and break free that very moment. He furrowed his brow as he stared at the elemental card. There was something important... something he felt as if he should remember on the principles of decency. His memory of Sakura's epic battle with the Earthy card was somewhat sketchy, but there was a fragment here and there, of something Kero had said. Syaoran pushed aside the hesitations carelessly and flipped the card. He trust the blunt side of his sword forwards, feeling the flow of power flood outwards from the Watery, tearing a piece of that power away from him. He stumbled backwards, placing a hand over his heart as he caught his breath. The Watery's liquid figure unfolded gracefully, all turqouise and cerulean. It paused, hovering above Syaoran's head and regarding the boy with ocean-eyes as if it were confused. Suddenly, Syaoran was reminded of Eriol's face-off with the Firery. This very thought caused the Captor to become nervous. He glared back at the card with a commanding expression. 'You ARE mine.' The Watery's expression did not change, but it ceased to stare at him in defience. Instead, it turned it's attention to the accumulation of Earth building where there once was a café. The screaming people has long since cleared out, much to Syaoran's relief, and for the most part he was confident that not one of them would attempt anything stupid like calling the police of fire department. The last thing he needed were a lot of adults in rubber suits asking uncomfortable questions. He was also not certain on the legalistics of carrying around a sword at his age. Syaoran crouched on his heels, supporting himself on his sword. The Watery would do it's work, or it wouldn't. Until then, he could allow himself at least a moment of rest. Sure enough, tendrils of flowing, sea-colored water crawled through the air and across the forming Earth dragon's body. As they wrapped themselves around the beast it howled in anger. Syaoran stood up again, hopeful. The tower of rock began to tumble away at the tip of it's 'nose', all the while writhing and screaming as the Watery drew it tighter. It was rather sudden when the entire monster collapsed with a roar of protest. The Watery seemed to hold a smug smile on it's expressionless face as it returned to it's master, a blanket of thick dust spreading forth from the point of collapse. Syaoran straightened and broke into a run, clearing the space between himself and the broken centre of the café quickly. He was confident, yet still warily held his sword in one hand. He began to clear away debris searching for what he expected would be the human form of the Earthy card. He found her, slung over a small, circular coffee table, obviously unconcious. She was beautiful, as were most of the mature cards, pale and almost transparent. Her hair arched up in the shape of a horseshoe, jewels and beads hanging from strings a little past her chin. Her dress was sculpted from rock and hugged her body suggestively, but despite it, she seemed fragile. Certainly not the cause of the sensless destruction that surrounded them. Syaoran was suddenly aware of footsteps behind him. He spun quickly to see Keroberos and Yue sifting their way through the clouds of dust, folded wings making them seem mythical and extrodinairy. The young captor placed a hand on his hip and frowned. "You two are a little late." He remakred, deadpan. He didn't mean it as sarcasm, he was being quite frank. Had the gaurdian's been there even a few minutes earlier, it would've made his life a great deal easier. "There were… more pressing matters to attend to." Kero coughed and glanced nervously at Yue. The moon gaurdian closed his indigo eyes and sighed, expression unchanging. "Kero wanted to test you, I think. And I agreed with him." Kero grunted loudly and shot an accusatory glance at his companion, "Yes. Well. This conversation was carried on in between the actual text as usual, wasn't it Yue? I most certainly did not want to test him. I believe in Li's skills. It's a wonder where you get these ideas." "You said: 'I take it you're not impressed with the Li boys skills'. How else am I supposed to take that?" Syaoran rolled his eyes. The two did this often, able to carry on for hours about the most senseless things. They bickered in the calm, affectionate sort of manner that only old friends perfectly comfortable with each other were able to do. Even though the current subject of debate was himself, Syaoran had no intrest in their interchange, so turned his back on them once more, lifting his sword above the Earthy. "By the power Clow Reed…" he stopped himself. That wasn't the right incantation anymore, was it? "By the power if the Kinomoto Star, I command you to return to your power confined Earthy!" Syaoran always spoke these words softly, barely an audiable whisper, especially compared to the desperate shout Sakura had used during her time. What was the point? The cards got the point. The Earthy's eyes flickered open in shock as she was drawn into a whirlpool at the tip of Syaoran's blade. They were bright green, the captor noticed, and it complimented the dull browns of her skin and dress. Yue and Kero had ceased their arguing and their attention was now intently focused on Syaoran as he gripped the card tightly between his fingers. The three held their breath and waited. Exactly eight seconds later, the card shuddered violently and breath was released, not in sighs of relief, but in groans of fustration. "It just doesn't make sense!" Kero complained while transforming back into his disguised form. His voice shifted from deep to squeaky during his speech, but neither Yue nor Syaoran were the type to laugh at such things. "If a card is defeated, BESTED, by a human, it will kneel to it's master, even if that master isn't a pure-blood or selected heir of Clow... which Syaoran IS..." Syaoran placed the Earthy inside the folds of his robed uneasily, "It hasn't been making sense for the past two years..." he muttered bitterly. "Yes, but we haven't had any specific problems until the night wonderboy showed up and caught you those elements... if only we could..." "I'll go talk to him." Kero tipped his head and Yue narrowed his eyes, "What makes you think you can find him, boy?" Syaoran gave the angelic gaurdian an equally narrow glare, "We need answers, right? I'll get them." And that was that. Syaoran stormed off angrily with no intent on returning until he cleared some air. 

* * *

_Are you sure? Of course I'm sure? I'm tired of this, aren't you? Yes. Very. Then... But! What? What if... That's impossible. But what if... No. It can't. But shouldn't we talk to Kero? I did. And? He understands. Shouldn't we talk to To-ya? He'll understand. What makes you so sure you know him so well? Because you do. ... I'm scared. _

* * *

Touya Kinomoto had been pacing around his too-small bedroom since eight PM. Every so often he would glance out the window, then look at his hands, as if there were some connection there he was just missing because he was too stupid to understand. This felt different. Richer. Fuller. Emptier. He blinked, and suddenly the color of his wall was more vibrant, but when he blinked again it was the same off-white it had been all along. He breathed deeply in an attempt to regain some of his lost breath, but only succeeded in realizing how thick and ot the air was. It tasted of spice and smelled warm, but all he wanted was cool, fresh air. Finally, it was too much. He threw himself at his window and savagely ripped it open, thrusting his head out into the night anf breathing deeply. The air outside was cooler, but it tasted more. It was like spice and cake and rice and pretty-smelling purfume and aged wine. There were whispers on the wind and they talked together, to each other. Gossiping, joking, laughing, crying. Even worse, he could hear his mother. He hadn't heard her voice, a soft and melodious tune that caressed his ears during his sleep, in over four years. Why now? Why... "Touya." The familiar voice jerked Touya out of his repose. He looked up only to be met by the cold eyes of the gaurdian Yue and gasped. "Help me with him." Touya drew his head inside the window and obidiently reached out to catch the dark figure handed to him, no questions asked. When he brought the thin body into the light, he nearly crumpled on sight, discovering that it was Yukito. He looked up at Yue, then back at Yuki, mouth hanging open in disbelief. "How…" "No questions." Touya nodded sombely and laid Yukito gently atop the covers on his bed. The pale boy looked absolutely fragile while sleeping, his soft silver-brown hair falling messily over his eyes and under his glasses. His mouth was slightly ajar and he was drooling. Touya smiled tenderly and decided to make a point of not noticing the weakness and limp in Yue's posture as the gaurdian made his way across the room and opened the door quietly, exiting the room. He simply crawled into bed beside Yukito and curled up around the smaller boy protectively. No questions asked. 


	4. IV and he said: your life is a contradic...

**Cessation**  
_Izzy Girl _ **IV** _And he said: "Your life is a contridiction."_ _"... for a minute there, I lost myself, I lost myself, for just a minute there, I lost myself..."_ "I want answers." _You said. And I laughed. Answers from me? Answers from one who is searching himself? If only you knew. If only you could, would, should, did. If you knew the circles I go about with myself. If you knew the arguments, the questions, the decisions broken again and again. If you knew these things you would no longer think I am so powerful. You would no longer think I know everything as if I were born with the mysteries of the universe scrawled on the inside of my brain. I'm not as strong as you think I am. I'm not as in control as you think I am. I'm not as certain as you think I am. I'm not who you think I am. I should be flattered. I should be overjoyed that you come to me, all stern glares and shuddering hands. I should be smug with myself to know that I alone in your mind am the only one whoes opinion is worth anything. I should pace in front of you with my thumb on my chin and my arm folded across my waist as my capes swish and my shoes tap and I "hmm, hmm, hmm" as if in deep thought, only to cry, "Eureka!" as you fall over yourself with gratitude. I should know your answers, Little Wolf. I should know them when you need them. _But I do know your answers. They're right here inside of this head of mine. _But you see. That's not me. I don't want it to be, so I don't know your answers, although one could say I do. Are you confused? I delight in causing confusion. I dislike being alone in my own ignorance. Such entertainment, wrapping others up in my webs and mazes of deception. They struggle and cry and kick their little feet in protest but only I know they way out. Truth is an ugly, coarse thing. It's a block of wood, a piece of horsehide. It's rough to the touch and not particularily aesthetically pleasing. Yes. Lies are much more beautiful with their rich textures and layers. Like shards of broken glass, all piled upon each other until the sunlight streaming through is broken into little points of scattered light. The effect has always reminded me of butterfly wings. Butterfly wings and icicles. Pretty, breakable things. Lies are much more suited to you, I realize, not suddenly, but over a moment of meditation. Do not blame me for lying to you. You stand there, leaning nochalantly against the rim of the building's edge, staring past me into the night. The sky has been made starless by the cities light, but maybe you don't notice. You stare at the sky as if there is something profound and truly breathtaking there. I turn my gaze upwards, but the only breathtaking sight I can see is the ripple of your hair in the breeze, the way your tug on the cuffs of your kimono with nervous hands and the effradescent glaze of your cola-colored eyes, so like the bubbling champagne rushing to escape the delicate neck of the bottle. _I was very young when I had my first sip of champagne. _But then again, I wasn't. I was never young, was I? _I was younger than you. When I first met you, there was an air about you. A sparkle in your eye that spoke of inexpirience. That's how young I was, for age is not a matter of years, but a matter of how much of that childish innocence is left in your eyes. "To be a good magician, you must learn how to entertain company." _I nodded. _"To be a good host, you must learn about some of the finer things in life. Such as wine." _I nodded again. _"But you're a little young for that yet. Here, pour yourself a glass of this... carefully, young master! Okay, now grip the thin part of the glass in your left hand, no, not rough. Hold it as if you're afraid it will break. Yes, that's right. Now sip. Don't gulp, just a little sip." _There was a third nod and I carefully brought the glass to my lips. The drink smelled funny, and I wrinkled my nose in distrust as the thin odor of alcohol wound it's way into my nostrils. I held it there until the smell became almost appeasing, then allowed a drop to touch my tounge. It seemed harmless enough, so I swiftly downed the rest of it. It burned on the way down my throat and I had the fleeting thought that perhaps, perhaps, I had been poisoned. I coughed and shouted out that I was choking, but my benefactor only laughed. _"Master Reed."_ He said, _"You get used to it." _And indeed, after the burning stopped and my stomach settled I wasted no time in grabbing the bottle again and vigorously pouring myself another helping. So you see these aren't my memories. I have no right to what's not mine. Forgive me for lying to you, but it's what I must do. Of course I have it here in my head somewhere. What really happened to the mistress. Why the cards are the way theya re. What should be done about the situation. But my life is a contradiction. No straight answer from this mouth will ever be as truthful as you want it to be. My very tounge was created for the purpose of twisting words with skillful artistry as to make them sound true. The only solution is not to speak at all. _"I want answers." _And still I will laugh. The answers aren't always that simple. I, myself, have an important decision to make. It's not so much a decision anymore as a necessary measure, taken too late. I can taste the steel of the knife already, Xiao Lang. I can feel it cutting into my flesh. Is this what it feels like to decide to die? You would know, wouldn't you? Did you not decide to die long ago? I can see the blood. It's red, but once again, it only reminds me of you. The iridescent glow your eyes take on when you're enraged. Or perhaps impassioned. I wonder, if I were to kiss you, would your eyes glow for me? Effradescent. Iridescent. How insulted would you be if I told you your eyes were also phosphorescent, luminescent and flourescent, even if it were not true? Yours are amazing eyes. When you are angry, your eyes are red. Like the blood in my mind. Drip. Drip. __It's cold here and the end is drawing near, but all you want are answers. _Drip. Drip. _On his part, you know who I mean, all her has to say about it is: _I counted too carefully for this. _It all falls apart in the end._

* * *

Syaoran shivered against the chill in the night air as he hugged the robes of his kimono closer. Eyeing Eriol warily the entire time, of course. He was still not one to be trusted, even after everything. Or maybe, especially after everything. "I want answers." He was shocked to see that the mage eyed him in return with equal wariness, though for obviously different reasons. "I have none." Syaoran snorted, "I'm so sure you don't." Eriol spread his hands apologetically, "I have no explaination, Xiao Lang. No way to justify myself this time. You must take my word for it." Syaoran adjusted his gaze to an expression of perfect skepticism, lowering one eyebrow while he raised the other. Eriol sighed and removed his billowing hat, running a hand through his navy hair, "What is it you wish to know?" "The truth about Sakura's death!" Syaoran gasped, a tad too eagerly. He blushed, embarassed, and focused his eyes on the dark night sky. The black sky was starless, thanks to the demanding city lights, even well into the early hours of morning. There were always stars at home. Thinking of them now reminded him of Sakura. He thought idly f the night they had laid on the balcony, heads so close that they barely had to whisper to be heard, and counted the stars in the sky. Sakura has been so glad just to see them. When they ran out of stars to count, the began tracing the imaginary lines in between them, and made up stories about the pictures they drew there. They giggled like drunkards and didn't bother to care that they were thirteen and too old for such behavior. There is a quality about young love that causes one to laugh and blush and throw away all false pretenses of maturity. Much the opposite of it's deceptive, older cousin, teenage love, that causes adolescent lovers to grow up far too quickly and deny some of their more alluring, but none-the-less childish, tendancies. Syaoran noticed that Eriol too was gazing at the sky and wondered briefly what he saw there. Surely he saw the stars. He had lived so long that perhaps the stars were inconsiquential to him, but he MUST see them. "Xiao Lang. I am sorry, but there is nothing more to the Mistress's death than what I have already told you." Syaoran shot Eriol a glare so quickly that the blue-haired boy flinched. That was not right. Eriol Hiiragizawa did not flinch. Eriol Hiiragizawa also did not wear the sorry, guilt-ridden expression that was being directed towards Syaoran at that moment. It's a lie. Syaoran noted dumbly, but then he considered. _I think that I am going insane._ The chinese boy shook his head regretfully. The lines were blurring. The black was turning to white and the white to black and both had become a sickly sort of gray. Eriol was right. There would be no answers. At least not until he found the proper place to look. 


	5. V Even the best laid plans

**Cessation**  
_Izzy Girl_ **V** _even the best laid plans..._ Syaoran's feet dragged heavily as he forced the front door of his home, affectionately called "Li Manor", open with unnecessary force. His sword clattered to the floor and he fell lifelessly into the nearest armchair, filling the fireplace with flames as he snapped his fingers softly. He sighed. Or maybe it was a groan, but it was altogether NOT a very contented sound. "Life..." he concluded, "Is unfair." He sighed again. "Or at least mine is..." The chinese boy didn't even feel odd talking to himself anymore... he had been doing enough of it the past two years, to be sure. He shrugged the thick, green overcoat of his battle gi off and sat quietly in only the silky white shirt and pants beneath the protective, emerald folds. Eriol was lying to him, that much he could be certain of. He was't gleeful about it in the slightest, as he might've been in the past. Back in those years... when everything seemed so simple: _(Tell yourself you're trying to impress Yukito. Impress Sakura. Or not. You're not really sure who you're trying to impress anymore, as long as you make that Hiiragizawa kid look bad in to progress.)_

* * *

"You've got a beautiful smile. You shouldn't glower so much." Grin, grin, grin.  
_(He didn't just say that... did he?)_ "That Syaoran Li... why is he always in the corner like that? He looks as if he could kill with that glare he's got there..." "Oh, that's just how Syaoran is. Not much helping that one. He'll come out of his shell eventually." A grimance, "Erm, I think..." 

* * *

Not only was life unfair, but the past evil. Syaoran bit his lip and leaned backwards, closing his eyes and forcing himself to relax. It wasn't a winning battle, to say the least. 

* * *

"Oi! Kinomoto-san!" "Really, Hiiragizawa-kun, you don't need to use so much respect when addressing me. It sounds rather ridiculous." "Many apologies, Sakura." A pause. Cooly: "Good day, Xiao Lang." Syaoran growled and Sakura giggled, "Oh, I don't think he likes it when you call him that." Grin, grin, grin, "Then I'll be sure to remember that in the future." 

* * *

"Aie... it's so hooooOOOOOooooot!" Sakura fanned herself dramatically, "It's so tragic... is this to be the end of us? Melting away like soggy icicles into colorful puddles of failed humanity on the pavement!" "Oh, don't be so melodramatic, Sakura." Tomoyo chirped cheerfully, fiddling with the end of her thick, black braid, "We're almost home." "I'll collapse before then..." Sakura sniffled, pulling on the neck of her shirt to fan herself, "Gawd, my skin's cold... that's a bad sign, isn't it?" "You're going to die of heatstroke." Syaoran said quietly, stone-faced. Tomoyo and Sakura stopped walking abruptly and goggled at him. "W... what!?' The green-eyed card Captor sounded genuinely distressed. Syaoran blinked, "I was joking." There was a general sigh of relief. Sakura shook her head and slapped Syaoran on the back, "Syao-chan, can you maybe smile a bit next time? Sometimes it's kinda hard to tell..." 

* * *

"Tomoyo-kun... I've been meaning to ask you this for a while now..." "Mmm-Hmm..." "Why is it that you carry your video camera with you everywheres?" "Oh! Hah, Syaoran, soemtimes you are dense. I thought that one was obvious... I like to capture memories. You and Sakura-kun... sometimes even Hiiragizawa-kun if he's not being terribly infuriating." Syaoran blinked an affirmative and watched Sakura as she slowly approached them, pacing the length of the park with a downcast expression on her youthful face. He frowned and exchanged a knowing glnce with Tomoyo, who had already stood, placing her camera on the ground just next to Syaoran. It was never a good sign when Sakura moped. The news might as well announced the end of the world for all the good it meant. "What's wrong, Sakura!" Tomoyo asked breathlessly, wrapping her arm protectively around her friend's shoulder. Sakura looked up, green eyes glassy and confused. She opened her mouth to speak, reconsidered, and ended up sighing unhappily. She raised her hands and began again. "I... I did something terrible today..." she scrunched up her brow, "... but..." 

* * *

Syaoran's thougths were interrupted rudely by the obnoxious ringing of a telephone. He started, falling half out of his chair, and groped the end table desperately for the reciever. "Moshi mosh!?" he all but shouted into the speaker. "Syao-chan! What's wrong?" Meiling's voice on the other end was halfway between concerned and annoyed (naturally with a bit more emphasis on the 'annoyed' aspect), but was none the less urgent. "Meiling?" "No, it's the Emperor! It's a sad. sad day when you don't even recognize your own cousins voice, now quit it with the games, it's an emergency!" By this point in the conversation, Syaoran had worked himself into a somewhat more comfortable sitting position. He cocked an eyebrow and was about to comment that he wasn't the one throwing sarcastic comments in HER face, but the tone of her voice was at a very rare pitch... that of complete seriousness. "Emergency?" he demanded, "What's happened." "Erm... well..." she stalled, "It's not exactly something I'm willing to explain over the phone. You kind of have to see it for yourself." 

* * *

Yukito was often ill. Syaoran was worried, but not shocked to see an unconcious Yukito spread out, pale and feverish, on the couch with Kero pacing the sofa's arm nervously and Touya clutching his clammy hand with a grim desperation. The shock came when Yue appeared from behind the edge of a corner, arms crossed and looking oddly... earthly. Syaoran was never much one to gape, but he hadn't even taken three steps into the house when it happened. His eyes widened and he froze, mid stride. Everyone stared at him, and after a moment, he spoke. "But... that's impossible." "Yes, I know..." Kero sighed heavily and brokenly, increasing the speed of his worried pacing, "By the end of this night, we'll lose one of them." "It was his choice." Yue said quietly, "He won't be the one to die if it comes down to it. He had a stronger will." Touya looked at the winged gaurdian sharply, "Where do you get off saying that? You're not the one laying on your deathbed." Yue shifted slightly and his eyebrows raised minisculy in what must have been an expression of insult, "Just because I do not collapse does not mean I do not suffer." Syaoran finally found his mobility, and came to sit by Tomoyo, who was wrining her hands even as they were folded neatly on her knees. Yukito whimpered in his sleep and everyone fell silent for a fretful moment. Meiling was the one who broke the silence. She threw her hands up in fustration and made a strangled noise to accompany the angry gesture. She then kicked the coffe table. A glass rolled to the floor with a dull thud and a magazine fluttered with great commotion. Several people glared at her dissaprovingly, but she maintained her actions with a firm stance, her chin in the air. "Everything's gone mad." she proclaimed, "Nothing makes sense anymore and I don't like it." she whriled around to stare at Syaoran, "And you... you promise to get answers! What did your friend in High Places tell you this time!? Did you find out anything useful, or did you waste your entire visit screwing the bastard!?" Syaoran, who had barely spoken three words since entering the Kimono household, reeled backwards, then sprung to his feet, livid and red with shame. "Li Meiling! What givces you the right to insinuate... to suggest that I..." he shook with rage, and Meiling grinned misciviously. "I've really struck a nerve, haven't I dear cousin. Well... you know, the truth always hurts more than any fabrication ever could..." she leveled her gaze and regarded Syaoran with disgust, "I guess you aren't mourning Sakura's death as dilligently as you'd have us believe." Syaoran steadied himself, then in one graceful moment he pulled his arm back and forced it into a wide arc, slapping his cousin soundly across her left cheek. Tomoyo cried out, but Meiling herself was silent. Her head snapped violently to one side. She didn't raised a hand to the throbbing wound, nor did she look her attacked in the eye. She struggled to gain control of her disbelief, then finally she faced him. "I hate you." she whispered, before turning and running into the night, leaving the door swinging in her wake. Tomoyo seemed to have an internal argument with herself over whether to go after the girl or not, but she finally approached Syaoran and laid a hand on his shoulder. He was staring at his hand in disbelief, as if he were dissaproving of his rebellious limb; as if he hadn't meant to slap Meiling... or at least hadn't meant to hurt her. "That was not a wise thing to do." Tomoyo muttered, her voice a confusing muddle of scorn and concearn. "Excuse me, but what just happened?" Kero looked to Syaoran and then to the doorway in confusion. "I think..." Touya said slowly, "That Meiling and Syaoran have just had a falling out..." 

* * *

The scene played over and over in Meiling's mind. It was black and white and in slow motion, forever captured as a moment of absolute despair in her life. The spot on her cheek that his hand had hit was still burning, and the tears were coming, unbidden to her dark eyes. She stopped for a moment, and gazed at the bright, half formed moon, and then screamed, punching the rough trunk of a nearby tree. The brittle bark crunched loudly where she had hit it, but the impact hurt, causing her to wonder if it had instead been the sound of her fist cracking against the tree's ancient might. Not wanting to wait for the tree's answer, she began to run. Syaoran's hand inched forward and she was helpless to do anything but to watch it as it raked it's way across her tanned cheek. It kept going after the impact forced her face from it's line of fire, and then he drew it back to him, face sullen and unresponsive. She saw herself fight tears, fight growls, fight violence, fight everything but the words that came, the words expressing the extent of her feelings at that moment. _'I hate you.'_ Which wasn't completely true, but was true enough for her to say it. Syaoran was a selfish bastard. Always had been, always will be, but he was family and once had been her fiance in a silly arranged marriage. It's not like they were blood related or anything, and even if they were, silly things like shared uncles and aunts rarely meant much to regal and influential chinses families like the Li's. Meling had grown up with Syaoran. They played together, talked together, trained together, and when Syaoran travelled to Japan to meet his destiny at the hands of the Clow Cards, they fought together.At some point in her life, she had been convinced that she loved him. Not as a surrogate sibling, as he loved her, but the way a wife loves her man. Possesively. Not that she still felt that way, otherwise she would have found herself perpetually betrayed, Syaoran having sold his heart to Sakura almost from the moment he met her. But still, he was her closest friend and confident. She still felt like his sister, and for him to betray her like this. Her anger blinded her and she stumbled, crying, into the street and only missed getting hit by a car narrowly. Syaoran had slapped her like a cruel man slaps a submissive wife. He had made her look weak, and to Meiling, it was the worst crime anyone could commit towards her. She would never talk to him again until she had proven herself better in every way and manner. If she couldn't show him with words, she would do it with actions. She would beat him if she had to kill herself to do it... 

* * *

Syaoran observed the conversation from a concious distance. He was still numb. Numb from the day's battle, numb from Eriol's words, numb from the shock of Yue and Yukito's seperation, numb from Meiling's scorn and his own reaction. He had always been a coarse person, but never the kind that would HIT someone. He had never known himself to perform such an act of personal and physical violence... and to slap Meiling... his COUSIN. A family, a friend, a former fiance... if he had been Japanese living in the Heian period he would have either commited Seppeku or shaved his head and become a monk. But since he was just a dishonorable Chinese boy living in moderized Asia, all he could do was sit and half pay attention to what was going on around him, pretending to care while metally torturing himself in accordence to the pain he had inflicted on Meiling. "... and I doubt it's possible to reverse it." "But Kero... would it be the same if you seperated your 'real' self from you cover self. What if you and the stuffed animal you pretend to be split into two entities. Would you suffer the same problems?" "What! I'm sorry Touya, but that really is a ridiculous question. You see, in the end, I was the smarter of the two of us. I chose an inanimate object as a form of disguise. Since it's never been alive, when I choose to depart and live in my own body, no damage is done. But in Yue's case, Yukito has been living so long with Yue inside his body, that it has almost become dependent on that extra bit of life. Now, it's like Yukito is missing half of himself." "Then why is Yue not suffering any of these repurcusions!" "He is... but you have to keep in mind, not only is Yue considerably more powerful than Yukito is as a mere mortal, Yue is older by quite an impressive margain. His life force is MUCH stronger than that of a nineteen year old boy with health problems." Kero paused, "I... I'm sorry, Touya. I didn't mean to sound so harsh. I'm just... worried about Yuki." Touya sighed and rested his forehead on Yukito's hand, "Isn't there anyone who would know... who would know what to do?" "Uh, well..." Kero scratched his head awkwardly, and shot Syaoran a nervous glance, "... Master Reed would know fo course since he..." "No!" Syaoran shouted. His vehemence surprised Kero, and the gaurdian shrunk, "The man is a chronic liar. We should avoid dealing with the lunatic unless absolutely necessary!" "Okay, okay... It was just a suggestion, but I don't see YOU coming up with anything better, Clam Boy." "The cards." Everyone looked at Tomoyo. It was the first time she had spoken since Meiling had left. "What." Kero replied eloquently. Tomoyo raised her watery gaze slowly and tucked a few ebony strands of hair behind a delicate ear, "I think..." she began, "That we should ask the cards..." 


	6. VI I wish I could turn back time cos now...

**Cessation**  
_Izzy Girl_ **VI** _'I wish I could turn back time, cos now the guilt is all mine'_ "That's madness! It just can't be done!" Spinel was irritated that they would even suggest it. He grumbled and hardly looked up once from the rather large volume he had been scanning when his afternoon was disturbed. "Sakura did it once." Tomoyo insisted, Kero rolling his eyes from his seat on her shoulder, "She told me about it!" "Yes, but that was different!" Spinel finally glanced up, but only slightly, "You don't just interrogate them. There is a certain methodical way to do it. It involves magic, focus and cooperation from both sides, which in this case we are not going to find!" "I told you it was pointless." Kero muttered, "He wouldn't know anymore than I do. Why won't you listen to me, Tomoyo. It just can't be done!" Tomoyo bit her lip and blinked back tears. She crossed her arms and made a struggling expression, "If you won't help me, I'll look for a way myself." "What!?" Kero demanded, "You don't even know magic!" "Yes, but he does." she pointed at Syaoran who was leaning against the back wall of the library, "And he'll help, right Syaoran." Syaoran crinkled his brow, "I... I was actually going out to look for Meiling. I'm sorry Tomoyo but I don't think it can be..." Tomoyo held up her hand to stop him from speaking. She made a fustrated noise and paced a few steps, running a pale hand through her ebony hair, "Fine." she said firmly, "Then I suppose I'll have to do it myself." "I'll research it with you." Touya said suddenly. Tomoyo spun to look at him and he shrugged, "It's for Yuki... I don't understand magic like you all do, but..." Kero snorted, "You're all impossible, you know that. Spinel, say something!" Spinel sighed helplessly and rose from his book, glaring out at his audience pointedly, "Nothing I say will change their minds, Keroberos. Humans are stubborn creatures. I might as well help... I don't like the idea of you poking around all those old texts without supervision. Some of them are dangerous or, even worse, delicate." "We should begin now." Tomoyo said resolutely, "We may only have hours until Yukito gives out." "I'll be out looking for Meiling." Syaoran nodded, "She's probably angry with me beyond words, but that doesn't change the fact that it's dangerous for her to be out alone." he started towards the doorway, but Kero flew after him, landing on his shoulder and grinning. "Well, then I'm coming with you." Syaoran stared at him darkly, "This is my business." "Yeah, but you expect me to stay here with these loonies! The world's all gone mad... besides, you always have a way of getting yourself into trouble, clan boy. You need protection." he leaned in and lowered his voice, "Sides', I'm worried as anyone about Yukito and Yue. I need something to keep my mind off the tension, you know what I mean." Syaoran wavered a moment, then released Kero from the death glare. He waved lightly and exited the library leaving the others to their research. 

* * *

Meiling had never been inside the Clow Manor before. It was a dark and forboding old building, gothic in design and all moth eaten and decaying inside. It smelt musty and the air was thick with hundred year old air. _'What am I doing here?'_ Meiling wondered, holding herself catiously and peeking around opened doors and long hallways that seemed to curve around corners. She knew her answer immedietly, of course. She was here to see 'him'. She had spent nearly an hour of wandering aimlessly around town planning a hasty revenge against her cousin. It was simple, but quite effective. Unfortunately, Meiling hadn't an inkling of magical blood in her being so the much dreaded Eriol Hiiragizawa was a necessary link in the chain. _'If he's as insane as Syaoran claims, would he even be here?'_ she wondered as she turned down yet another empty hallways that branched off into even emptier rooms, _'This place has been left to rot and from what I remember of Eriol he was obsessed with order. A bit on the froofy side, he always kept his things clean and neat...'_ She stopped walking as she met a crossroad, The house was much larger than it seemed from the outside. Perhaps it was magical and went on forever. Once again, she asked herself what she was doign and her courage screwed up. She had already decided to trace her steps backwards and leave when she heard it. Faint piano notes. Ambient and lonely and the first sign of life she had been privy to since entering the manor. She quieted her breathing and padded softly through the halls until the music grew louder, the dischordent notes stringing themselves into melody and into a song. Suddenly, it stopped. Meiling stopped too, breaking out in a cold sweat. Had she done something wrong entering the manor? Had she been to presumptious? Was Eriol so far gone that he would no take kindly to visitors? She was paralyzed as the footsteps made their way towards her and, without much ceremony, the Master Clow appeared from behind an unusually sharp corner. "Oh." he said, "A most unexpected visitor... Meiling Li." he smiled at her warmly, moreso with his penetrating, violet eyes than his mouth. He wore elaborate, flowing robes that seemed to meld with the near darkness of his gloomy home, "What is it that I may help you with?" 

* * *

Yue had been left to keep vigil over Yukito. The boy breathed labouriously, contoinously reminding Yue of how ridiculously fragile humans were. Master Clow had always had an affinity for them, of course, being one himself (though sometimes one would forget that). Yue considered many times sacrificing himself to save Yukito's life, afterall, what was his purpose now that both Masters were incompacitated? Sakura dead, and Clow... Eriol was far gone, probably didn't even know who he was anymore. With no Master of the Cards to serve, there was no point for Yue to exist. Slowly he felt his will causing the life to ebb out of him, and though he desired nothing more than to let it go completely, his bonds would not let him. He was a creature created for absolute loyalty, he could not kill himself without asking permission. Which didn't make any sense, since Sakura was long dead so all her ties to him should have been broken unless.... No, he must not allow his mind to wander like that. Hope was a false and irrelevent emotion. He had picked up far too many bad habits from Yukito: hope, regret, fear, love... his inability to give up his life force must be the lingering traces of his relationship with Clow. "Contemplating suicide, Yue? How... selfless of you." Yue crossed his arms a bit more firmly at the sound of the voice but made no other noticiable motion, "Ruby Moon. How long have you been here?" "Long enough to gather the only thing you could be thinking right now, standing and staring like that, is sacrificing yourself to save Yukito's life. So why don't you?" Yue sniffed, "It's not in my nature." "Oh, you don't expect me to believe that. You lived far too long inside of that delicate little boy there not to have picked up at least some semblence of human emotion." She strolled into his line of vision and flipped a long strand of red behind her shoulder, "Anyways, you would never let Touya suffer such a loss." "What gives you that idea." Ruby paced closer and leaned forwards, placing a black gloved hand on Yue's chest, "You love that boy just like Yukito does. His emotions and yours are one and you couldn't bear to see Touya in such pain. Oh, you're a joke Yue, dear! So transparent." Yue turned his cheek, putting his nose in the air haughtily, "You don't know anything about me at all. You're not even a real gaurdian, just a cheap carbon copy of me." Ruby reeled back and crossed her arms behind her back, "You say I'M not the real gaurdian?" she laughed, "Look at yourself! You're the only one of us who has ever taken a temporary form that is not a transformation of ourselves! You're not even a whole person anymore. You might as well have just stayed inside Yukito and ceased to exist!" Yue leveled his cold gaze and said softly, "He asked me to leave." Ruby blinked, "Really, now. Sorry if I have a hard time believing that." "I really don't care what you believe. It's the truth." Ruby shrugged, "Well then, in that case I guess it's not any of my business, is it?" she stretched out like a cat on the high-bakced arm-chair in the corner of the room Mr. Kinomoto sat in when he read. She yawned loudly and let her eyelids fall. "Why are you here?" Yue asked icily. Ruby's eyes snapped open and she looked at him innocently, "Why, I just wanted to spend some time with you, Yue dear?" "Ruby Moon, tell me the real reason you're here..." She sighed dramatically and sunk a bit more in the chair, butterfly wings folding gracefully behind her, "Something... is about to happen." Yue raised an eyebrow and she stuck out her tounge, "I really mean it!" she continued, "I know it sounds stupid, but I have this... feeling." she shuddered, "And it's... unsettling. Everyone else is otherwise preoccupied, so I thought that..." "If you haven't noticed, I am also preoccupied." "I don't think Yuki's chances of living will be heightened any with you keeping watch..." "Ruby Moon, I do not have the time to indulge your ridiculous superstitions. Just because you're bored..." "Hey! Do you really think I'm that selfish." "Yes." "That's a bit uncalled for, Yue. I may be just a carbon copy, but you're nothing more than a..." whatever insults Ruby was about to throw at her predecessor were brutally cut off as a wall was suddenly blown out of the house. Yue turned his head, expression widening in something that could almost have been categorized as shock. "The cards!" he said urgently. "I told you something bad was about to happen." Ruby replied breathlessly. 

* * *

"The Cards!" Kero and Syaoran spoke almost in unison, both leaping to attention in the general direction of Sakura's house. They looked at each other surreptiously for a moment, then Syaoran swore loudly. "We shouldn't have left them in the house!" he fumed, "We're idiots! Now Yukito's in danger!" Kero paced Syaoran's shoulder, brow furrowed in deep thought, "This isn't right. It doesn't feel right..." "It isn't right! We have to go!" Kero nodded, "Of course, but I..." he shook his head, "Nevermind. It's not important." he flipped off Syaoran's shoulders casually and was engulfed by golden light. Syaoran averted his eyes respectfually as the stuffed animal transformed as quickly as he could manage. "Hop on." Kereberos muttered reluctantly, unfolding his wings to make space for the young cardcaptor. Syaoran mounted him with equal reluctance and Kero leapt into the air with long, powerful strides. No sooner did he take to the air that he was thrown back to the ground. Syaoran flew a couple feet, grunting as he smashed against the stone and Kereberos looked around in shock. "What the hell just happened!?" Syaoran demanded, rising painfully. "I'd like to know that myself." Kero growled, walking a few steps, only to find himself thrown back again. Syaoran himself rose and began testing the edges of their invisible prison. "Well, obviously someone doesn't want us to stop those cards." Syaoran winced as he misjudged one of the walls and tumbled forwards, "And I think I have a good idea who's behind this." "Eriol up to his old tricks?" Kero wondered. "But the real question is why? What reasons would he have for trapping us in here while he lets the four most dangerous cards run loose around the city." "Maybe he has a point to prove. Perhaps he's testing you like with Sakura." Syaoran shook his head, "No. No that's not it at all..." he folded himself into a kneeling position and drew a circle on the ground. He muttered a few words in broken chinese, and the circle rose and hit the top of the transparent structure and caused the entire globe to freeze for a few seconds. Syaoran leaned back on his heels and felt with his left hand for the wall. He open his eyes, "Still there." "Of course it's still there, you idiot. This is Clow magic we're talking about. You may be a distant descendant of the guy, but you're dinky little spells don't stand a chance!" Syaoran shot Kero a sharp, insulted glare, "No offense or anything kid." the sun gaurdian settled on his hunches and raised his weary eyes skywards as the first column of fire spiraled towards the clouds, "Well, we might as well lean back and enjoy the show." Syaoran's eyes widened, "You can't be serious!" "Well, there's not really anything else to do, is there. Besides, the others will take care of it." 

* * *

"Your thirst for revenge is irrational, Ms. Li. It could very well cost many people their lives." "I don't care." Meiling was seated docily in the back on the room, staring at her hands folded in her lap. "I don't agree with your reasoning." "Then why are you helping me?" Eriol shrugged nochalantly, "I don't know." "What kind of an answer is that?" Don't you know everything?" "What gave you that impression? I know no more than you about what's going on, even less of my own actions. Sad, isn't it?" "Yes." Meiling answered truthfully. She was thinking about herself though. Were her actions really so irresponsible? Eriol was insane, so he had an excuse. What was hers? Honor? What a joke? "Xiao Lang is a coarse induvidual. He's been under a lot of stress lately. I have no doubt that he was searching for you to apologize, in fact, when you came to me." Meiling raised her eyes sharply and bore holes into Eriol's back, "What makes you the expert on my cousin all of a sudden." "Oh, I'm the expert on everything." he assured quietly, moments after admitting ignorance, "On everyone, in fact. Would you care to hear my expert opinion on you, Miss Meiling Li?" Meiling looked at her hands again, "Yeah. Go ahead." 'Like any of it will be true. You don't even know me...' "Your a bitter little girl. You've never been what you wanted to be so your force yourself to make the best of what you have, yet you never live up to your own expectations. You are harsh, unforgiving and overly-critical of everyone, especially yourself. And pride means everything to you, otherwise you wouldn't be here. Losing ground with Xiao Lang would mean that he is better than you because he knows magic, because he's the kind of warrior your parents always expected you to be." Meiling paled, "That... that's not it at all." she stuttered, "I've never been jealous of... of Xiao Lang." Her cousin's chinese name sounded strange on her tounge after so long pronouncing it the Japanese way, "I admire him. In fact I used to love... I'm upset because he made me look weak. He doesn't appreciate me." that was really it, wasn't it? "So much for your 'expert opinion'." Eriol was either embarassed or too self-assured to care what she thought. Instead of engaging in an argument with her, he addressed another matter, "You'd better leave now if you don't wish to miss the show. And quite a spetacular show it's going to be!" Meiling rose, but turned as she was halfways throught the dark doorway, her hand resting lightly on it's frame, "You have your own reasons for doing this, don't you?" "Of course. I have reasons for everything, even if 'I' don't know them, 'he' does. Convinient, isn't it, having a man inside your head who knows the answers to everything." Meiling paused for just a moment, pondering his half-mad words, then left quickly, suddenly frightened by Eriol's prescence. This strange boy who wasn't a boy at all. No wonder Syaoran always seemed do shaken after speaking with him. In such a naturally aimiable induvidual, the insanity was almost contagieous. 


	7. VII It's the end of the world as we know...

**Cessation**  
_Izzy Girl_

**VII** _'It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine...'_

It was like a scene from a nightmare. Sometimes, Sakura's trials had been tense, of course, but never like this. Tomoyo had never seen the cards act so blatantly... vicious. She ran out into the street, night air tinted with the distinctive smell of woodsmoke carried by the mounting wind storm. The ground rumbled angrily and Tomoyo could already feel the first droplets of water hit her forehead. Behind her, Touya stumbled on the shaking ground and shouted over the din: 

"What's going on! How did the cards break free!?" 

Tomoyo didn't answer, didn't even hear him really. She felt something stir deep inside of her, that same part she touched whenever Syaoran was trying to teach her magic. It didn't make any sense, but she felt as if she could,,, do something. She began walking. 

"Daidouji!" Spinel called, his voice deep and silky in his transformed state, "Daidouji, where are you going!?" 

Tomoyo was listening this time, but still didn't answer, because she didn't know. 

* * *

Meiling walked slowly, but not hesitantly. Or at least she wouldn't admit to herself that she was hesitating. In fact, every unsteady step that she took she told herself that she couldn't wait to see the helplessness in her cousin's dark face. Couldn't wait to laugh at him and taunt him and make him feel as worthless as she had when he had struck her, but with the earth around her rumbling and the wind picking up, she couldn't help but wonder: 'what have I done?' 

_'Is it true? Was Hiiragizawa right? Am I bent on revenge and driven by jealousy because I'm bitter and foolish? Am I really that... that... petty.'_ she already knew her answer, though. 

Around her, people were beginning to emerge from their houses, all sleep-worn and pajama clad. Police sirens wailed in the distance and a general sense of dread settled over the area. Meiling was causing others to suffer for personal gratification. 

She gripped the charm tightly between her thumb and forefinger. It was simply a piece of crumpled rice paper with a few confusing Kanji characters painted down it's length. These were the things she never could understand about magic, how something so silly as a tiny parchment could have power. She scoffed at it, but secretly, it always fascinated her. The charm contained the power to relieve the prison spell that had been set around Syaoran shortly after the cards broke free. Meiling had been intending to rip it up and allow the boy to fester in those invisible walls until the spell had worn off, but now her resolve wavered. 

She stopped at the edge of the dome, feet just brushing the edge, at her cousin's back. He and Kero were sitting impatiently in silence, Syaoran tapping his fingers against his upper arm, and Kero twitching his tail violetnly. Meiling swallowed heavily and spoke, her tone a masterful cover of snide resentment. 

"Well, hello cousin dear. What a perdiciment you find yourself in." 

Syaoran jumped to his feet and turned to her, face twisted with both concern and anger. Kero also turned, but his attention was still focused mostly on the cards actions, that circled around them widely. 

"Meiling! Where the hell have you been for the past four hours!?" 

Meiling grinned enigmatically and waved the charm scroll inches away from Syaoran's face, but ultimately out of his reach, "You want out?" 

Syaoran's eyes widened in shock, then narrowed as he realized what she meant, "You... you had something to do with this!" 

"Grovel." Meiling demanded, "Then I'll think about letting you out." 

"Meiling, this is serious!" Syaoran shouted, "You can't just... you can't DO things like this! Don't you understand that I need to go seal those cards, otherwise people are going to die!" 

"I said get on your knees and beg me to let you go." Meiling gritted her teeth, "I'll accept nothing else!" 

Syaoran slammed his palms against the invisible barrier between them, wearing a most fearsome expression, "I don't believe you! Listen, I'm sorry I hit you, okay, but this is really unecessary! I was trying to find you to apologize, but obviously you have other ideas." 

"Beg, Xiao Lang, I'll accept no other apology." 

"No!" 

"YOU BASTARD!" Meiling slammed her foot on the ground viciously, and raised the piece of parchment up where Syaoran could see it. Then, she ripped it in half. 

Syaoran suddenly fell forwards, narrowly dodging Meiling where she stared in betrayed bewilderment. The wall was gone. 

"That... cheat..." she muttered, "He tricked me..." 

Kereberos spread his wings wide again, gesturing for Syaoran and Meiling to jump on. Syaoran wrapped a strong arm around his distraught cousin'd shoulders, "Come on Meiling, we'll talk about it later." he whispered, but she refused to move. 

"You two, hurry up! We've got to get away from here, take down the Firery first!" 

"I know, Kero, just wait a moment, I... oh shit..." three very different faces turned upwards simultaneously to see the wave crash down on them at exactly the wrong moment. Meiling felt Syaoran's grip on her loosen, then water filled her lungs and everything was black. 

* * *

Tomoyo was in a daze. Around her cars whizzed and people ran, screaming and crying, in the opposite direction, but she felt untouched. Her hair hardly swayed in the breeze and her steps were slow, but sure. Water washed over her neatly dressed ankles and her shoes filled as she followed where the magic was taking her. The water grew deeper as she walked, and the streets slowly became emptier and absolutely silent except for the faint sound of running water. 

The cold was insignificant, as was the discomfot she felt from being wet. He skirt grew bottom heavy as it skimmed the surface of the water and eventually her thick braid thouched it's surface. In her mind, Tomoyo recited a poem: 

_'I never saw a moor;  
I never saw the sea,  
Yet I know how the heather looks;  
And what a wave must be. _

_I never spoke with God;  
Nor visited in heaven,  
Yet certain am I of the spot;  
As if the chart were given.'_

This was all she saw and heard until she reached the tempest of the Watery's storm. She stood breast deep in the water now, and around her familiar bodies floated. She raised her dark eyes and met the Watery's. 

_'Hello.'_ she said in her mind. 

The card blinked it's wide, aquamarine eyes and flowed towards Tomoyo and the girl was flooded with an overwhelming feeling of it's... it's 'thereness'. She didn't know how else to describe it, but suddenly she knew that the card was there. Shuddering now, Tomoyo continued. 

_'I'm Tomoyo Daidouji. I was a friend of the Card Mistress Sakura Kinomoto.'_

This time, the emotion was agreement- affirmation. As if that card was replying with the words _'I know who you are.'_

_'Why are you doing this?'_

Abruptly, the water level rose to Tomoyo's neck, but she didn't feel light as one usually does when emerged almost entirely in water. She felt weight down, sucked into the water's void. Around her, bodies floated, but she sunk beneath the weight og the card's answer. It was anger, it was misundertanding, it was abandonment, it was... it was Sakura. 

_'You're angry at Sakura?' _Tomoyo asked searchingly, certain that she understood,_ 'But why are you angry at her? It's not her fault that she died. It was all an unfortunate accident.'_

The water rose again. Tomoyo gasped for air and tilted her head back to keep the water from rushing into her nose. 

_'Please, answer me! I promise that if you just answer me and we can understand, I'll tell the other. They'll leave you alone then!'_

The emotions were too conflicting, too strong and they buried Tomoyo as metaphorically as the water buried her physically. She knew enough to hold her breath, but when she tried to swim she was only pulled deeper and deeper. Her eyes were pressed closed tightly, her lungs contracting under the immense pressure and her mind desperately searching out the Watery card, trying to make the angry creature understand what she was trying to ask. 

Her eyes began to flutter and the air was failing. Finally, human instinct took over and Tomoyo tried to inhale. Her lungs filled with water and she tried to cough, only succeeding in allowing more water into her lungs. Her eyes popped open frantically, and she flailed her arms. No air anywheres! He throat was raw, her veins tight and her heart both speeding and slowing. Her mind grew groggy and for a rare moment, Tomoyo Daidouji was terribly frightened. She could feel her life slipping away, as if she could catch it if she were just strong enough to keep hold of it. Her grip was failing, though, and her stinging eyes rolled back in her head flutteringly. 

_'I'm dead.'_ she thought in that sad, amazed realization of one who is gone before thier time, _'I wonder if it was this bad for Sakura...'_

_'No. No, I never felt such pain.'_

Tomoyo snapped back to reality and suddenly the pressure was gone. She felt a cool breeze on her cheek and air filled in around her. She scrambled to hands and knees and coughed, gasping for breath like a new born tasting air for the first time. It was some time before she could get her breathing back to normal, and when she did, she observed her surroundings carefully. When she stood, she saw at her feet the Watery card, sealed, and sealed securely at that. Around her lay the unconcious bodies of Kereberos and Syaoran among the softly breathing strangers. 

_'I was blessed.'_ Tomoyo closed her slender fingers around the card thankfully, then disjointedly remember the voice. 

_'Was that just an illusion? A vision of the near dead? Because it sounded almost like...'_ her gaze caught the lingering traces of a shadow skipping it's way across the rooftops before dropping to stare again at the sealed watery card, _'... Sakura...'_

"Was all that really necessary?" Eriol wondered lazily from his lofty vantage point, "It seemed a bit excessive to me." 

_'What? It was just the beginning! Aren't you enjoying this lovely little trial we're submitting the Mistress's friends through?'_

"Oh, of course I am." Eriol sighed, "I am you, after all I just... don't see the point in it..." 

_'Well, then we're rather blind tonight, hmm? You grow ever more skeptical with each passing day. It worries me.'_

"I wouldn't dwell on it too much. In fact, you have no choice. I have already decided not to dwell on it and since I am you and you be me, that's the end of it." 

_'Aren't you at all intrguied at who our little game brought out of hiding?'_

"Well, since you are, obviously I am too. Funny how that works, isn't it? Won't Xiao Lang and the others be cross..." Eriol chuckled to himself, and continued this inane self dialouge. 

_'It's rather ridiculous, isn't it, that we have these silly arguments.'_

"Quite. I'm almost beginning to worry about myself." 

_'Well, didn't you already tell our darling descendant that you're insane?'_

"I am, but I never thought you were." 

_'It's the same thing. How did you phrase it? I am you and you be me?"_

"Actually." Eriol's expression turned dark and thoughtful, "We're not the same at all. I thought by now you'd have realized... I have thoughts you know nothing about." 

_'I know everything about you, I AM you. Or rather, another personality you have created to represent Clow and therefore liberate yourself from feelings of guilt and uslessness after Sakura died. You're a very pathetic person, Eriol Hiiragizawa, to think that you are anyone but Clow Reed.'_

Eriol shook his head sadly but refrained from walking away. This was the one conversation he would never be able to escape. Unless... 

_'Those suicidal thoughts are unheathly, Mr. Reed.'_

Eriol grinned wickedly, "Unhealthy for whom Mr. Hiiragizawa? You, or myself?" 

For a moment there, he was confused about which part of the conversation he was supposed to be speaking. He forgot which one he really was. Who was the fake personality, Mr. Reed or Mr. Hiiragizawa? Who was the one who held the body's soul, Clow or Eriol? 

Or were they really both the same person? 


	8. VIII Listen to the Music of the Night

PRE FIC RANTINGS AND A SPRINKLE OF DISCLAIMER: I'm too lazy to write one of these today. Lalalala. CCS is not mine, mild warnings for this chapter seeing as it contains lime of the shounen-ai variety.  
Cessation  
Izzy Girl  
VIII Listen to the Music of the Night  
Meiling was gone.  
  
Syaoran blinked blurrily through his narrow vision, staring out at the damp ground and scattered bodies around him. He grunted and slowly worked his numb arms so that they lifted him to his knees. Kero was shaking the water droplets from his thick fur and here and there, men and women were coming to their senses. Tomoyo sat in the middle of all this, head bowed and legs crossed in their impeccable, black jeans. She turned her head quickly as Syaoran stumbled towards her and fell by her side. She stared at him with wide, lavendar eyes.  
  
"She was here, Syaoran. I saw her."  
  
Syaoran stared at the card clenched tightly in Tomoyo's delicate hands and his eyes widened.  
  
"The Watery!" he gasped, "Tomoyo, did... did you..."  
  
She shook her head vehemently, strands of fine, wet hair coming undone from her thick braid, "No. She caught it. And she sealed it, she was protecting us the whole time!"  
  
The girl's words were uncharacteristcally frantic and they all ran together. Syaoran carelessly slung an arm over her shoulder, more to support himself then to comfort her, and raised his eyes to the horizen. The sun was rising over the building tops and no longer were the cards wreaking havoc upon the city. Perhaps they had all been caught. Or perhaps the sun had made them dormant  
  
Or maybe it was crazy old man Clow playing tricks with their minds again.  
  
"Syao-chan, aren't you listening! Don't you care? She was here! She fought the Watery and saved us!"  
  
Finally, Syaoran processed the fluid words Tomoyo was blurting, rolling them over and over in his mind, until finally: "Who do you mean, Tomoyo? Who fought the cards?"  
  
Tomoyo widened her doe-soft eyes and gripped Syaoran's arm desperately. The soft fabric of his blue sweatshirt was hopelessly soaked and heavy on his body, "Who else..." Tomoyo whispered happily, "It was Sakura!"  
* * *  
"The pressure must have been too much for her." they spoke in whispers, Kero, Spinel, Touya and Syaoran. Tomoyo was in her basement, digging out her old videotapes and humming to herself cheerfully and obliviously.  
  
"Did she really seal the card? By herself?"  
  
"I don't know, Kinomoto-san." Spinel shook his head slowly at Touya's question, "But there doesn't seem to be any other explaination."  
  
"Unless... Sakura is really alive."  
  
Syaoran glowered at Touya and crossed his arms, "You know that can't be true."  
  
Touya glared right back, "How do I? How do you? We never found a body did we? We never actually BURIED her. Maybe she's not really dead?"  
  
"Then where has she been the past four years? You really think that she would just... leave and not tell us where she was going?" Syaoran's voice held barely contained bitterness, "You tell me, Ki-no-mo-to-san, since you were her brother, but that doesn't sound like the Sakura I knew."  
  
Touya frowned, "I didn't mean it like that, Li, I just..."  
  
"Whatever." Syaoran hissed, "I don't like where this conversation is going. I'm leaving." so he did, and the others watched him go.  
  
"Touchy." Spinel commented, "But he's right, what reason would the Mistress have for pretending to be dead? It doesn't really make much sense."  
  
Touya hung his head, but Kero spoke in his defense, "She might have... certain reasons."  
  
Touya's head sprung up and he set an assertive gaze on the gaurdian, "Do you know something Kero?"  
  
Kero breathed heavily and shifted his large, shaggy head so that he faced the window and eyed the sun beams falling through it sadly, "I know many things, things maybe Sakura didn't know herself... but..." he turned his head from the glare and looked at Touya and Spinel meaningly, "For now it's been a long night. I think we should all get some sleep..."  
* * *  
Syaoran stripped his wet clothing and slipped into a light, silk kimono, flopping himself down into his scarecely used bed. He often fell asleep in his ratty old armchair, reading or staring into the fire. His bed was a Queen-sized and he found that it invoked far too restful a nature from him. These were not restful times.  
  
He spent the next three hours staring at his ceiling thoughtfully, memories running through his mind like movie clips only without sound, color or lucidity. Finally, in fustration he flung himself from the bed and hastily threw on his battle shikifuku, striding out into the street with purpose and pointedly ignoring the stares he earned from his irregular dress.  
  
When he arrived at the foot of Clow manor, he hesistated a moment. The house loomed before him darkly and smokily, like a dream vision. Syaoran's breath caught in his throat and he closed his eyes momentarily and remembered the strings.  
  
He didn't understand exactly why the thought struck him, only that it did. Eriol had caught them all up in strings, like little puppets, and made him and Sakura fight each other. It was one of the first trials and it hurt, because at the the time Syaoran had been madly in love with the female cardcaptor, even if he'd had a hard time admitting it to himself.  
  
'Maybe, that's why I'm here...' he reflected, 'Hiiragizawa has his little marrionatte strings attatched to my limbs again and now he's pulling me in all the wrong directions.' and it was working. His feet unwillingly padded along the faded footpaths in the garden as the noontime sun bruned overhead. When he entered the house, it was musty and old smelling and so dark, despite the cloudless sky, that Syaoran squinted at the flash and was blinded for just a moment.  
  
Still, his feet lead him onwards through the confusing maze of spider-webbed hallways and darkened rooms until the piano music hit his ears. And he stopped, standing in the wide doorframe of a lofty, dim-lit room. Eriol played piano in the center of the room, dramatic and graceful like he always was about everything. There was a tall window to one side of the room, floor to ceiling with a gauzy curtain that looked as if it would flow nicely in the breeze. Syaoran closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against the doorpane, listening to the music.  
  
It was haunting and slow, soft but every so often swelling to a point, always dropping again just as the music reached it's peak. Syaoran could imagine the magician's long, slender fingers moving over the keys and began thinking aimlessly of the old days.  
  
'What is wrong with me... give my mind a moment to linger and always it returns there.'  
  
"Xiao Lang.Why do you hide in the shadows?"  
  
Syaoran snapped his eyes open and stared at Eriol. The dark haired boy just continued to pay the piano inconsequentially as he spoke, "It's a pleasent surprise that you came to tell the truth. I was beginning to wonder if you'd ever catch on."  
  
"Meiling was here."Syaoran wasn't sure if it was a question or a statement, only that he knew it was true.  
  
"Oh yes." Eriol chuckled, "She was not happy with you, Xiao Lang. She was very blood thirsty."  
  
Syaoran growled, "What did you do to my cousin!? Where is she now!?"  
  
"If I knew that I would tell you. Have no doubt." the music continued and for some reason, Syaoran's anger dissapated.  
  
'I'm probably just tired.' he told himself, slowly and quietly walking towards the grand piano in the center of the room, not wanting to disrupt the melody with the 'tip-tipping' of his shiny, chinese style slippers. He sat on the bench next to Eriol, leaning his back against the piano and staring out the tall window at the darkening sunset.  
  
"There was an old french book written about the power of music." Eriol said suddenly, "It was a dark love story about a crazy old man and a beautiful and innocent young girl who was yearning for her own lover."  
  
"The allegory is lost on me," Syaoran muttered, "Although you are a crazy old man, I'm not beautiful, innocent or female. What's your point?"  
  
"As I was saying, Xiao Lang, in this particular story music is highly symbolic. The entire stage is set in a glamorous Opera House. The young girl is wooed and lured into a dazed sort of love by the old man's beautiful music. And may I note that although you may not be female or innocent, you are beautiful and yearning for your lover."  
  
"What are you saying?"  
  
Eriol stopped playing and looked at Syaoran deeply and meaningfully, "I'm saying that my music seems to be weaving it's spell on you surprisingly well." he sighed, "Why are you here, Li-kun. You really shouldn't be here."  
  
Syaoran started a little at that, not used to Eriol being so deferential towards him. He looked at his hands, intwined and laid neatly on his lap, "I came because I think you owe me some answers to the questions I asked last night."  
  
Eriol raised a thin eyebrow above his large spectacles, "Are those really the answers you're looking for?"  
  
Syaoran regarded him sharply, "What do you mean by that!?"  
  
Eriol shrugged, "Well... let's see... it's been exactly two years and two days since Sakura Kinomoto's death and suddenly, the cards are active. It seems to me that Li Xiao Lang is not so curious about the nature of the card's mysterious behavior as he is about that gaping hole in his heart he's been conviniently ignoring since the Mistress died.  
  
"Enter Eriol Hiiragizawa, the misplaced reincarnation of Clow who exactly two years ago, two days after Sakura Kinomoto's death, left his lover of two years, MIss Kaho, and dissapeared off the face of the planet. Resurfacing on the exact two year anniversary of the Mistress's death he speaks only to one Li Xiao Lang, expressing an unnatural trust in his darling descendant. Two days later, a very lonely, very heart-broken Li is sitting beside Mr. Hiiragizawa staring awkwardly out the window and devoid of even the lamest of excuses. Hmm, now I wonder what Mr. Hiiragizawa is supposed to think about all of this?"  
  
Syaoran made a disgusted expression and turned his face, "You're imagination is over-reacting. I told you why I came."  
  
"Well, then I suppose I'll have to believe you." Eriol ran his fingers over the piano keys and began playing again. This time, the tune was morbid and violent. There were two distinctive parts winding in and out of each other, unmistakably the same song but entirely different tunes, "It's called a counterpoint." the dark haired boy stated slowly, "Isn't that what you wanted? You're so caught up in your own misery, Little Wolf, that you fail to notice the sorrow of others. I could give you everything you want, free of any emotional commitment, but you would just complain that it came too easy, wouldn't you?"  
  
Syaoran was lost. Eriol's words were always cryptic and like poetry. He listened to them wash over like a wave but had to work to grasp the meaning beneath them, "Hiiragizawa..." he whispered, "You're not making any sense..."  
  
"Maybe not, but my words are pretty and isn't that what matters in the end. Do you want more?" Before Syaoran could disagree Eriol's arms had moved and he was pinned between the piano and the magician's chest. His pulse hastened as Eriol leaned forwards and whispered against his ear: " 'There's rosemary, that's for rememberence: pray you, love, remember; and there is pansies, that's for thoughts.' "  
  
"Sha... Shakespeare." Syaoran said shakily, "Those are the words of Ophelia, half-mad and suicidal. Are you trying to tell me something, Hiiragizawa?"  
  
" 'Here's some daisies; I would give you violets but they all withered and died.' Shakespeare was a master at speaking pretty words devoid of any meaning. That's all you want from me, and perhaps a good lay or two, even if that direct thought has never once crossed your mind. But the question here is: why am I so willing to indulge you?"  
  
Syaoran was trembling in the cage of Eriol's arms, desperately trying to focus on anything but the warm tickle of the magician's spicy breath on his neck. Eriol drew back and regarded the chinese boy ruefully, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose with his left hand, then cupping that same hand around Syaoran's dark cheek, "Truth be told, Xiao Lang, if you weren't so pretty and I weren't so insane we wouldn't be having this conversation right now."  
  
Syaoran placed his hand on Eriol's chest, pushing him away, if hardly, "Stop it, Hiiragizawa. This isn't funny..."  
  
"Then tell me why you're here, Xiao Lang."  
  
Syaoran shifted uncomfortably as Eriol loosened his advance, both of them sprawled awkwardly against the piano edge. 'Why am I here?' he tried all the old reasons, but non of them fit, 'I'm here because...' he remember the strings, 'Because I was...'  
  
"I was drawn here." Syaoran replied breathlessly, "It wasn't my choice."  
  
Eriol smiled grimly and traced the lines of Syaoran's jaw with his thumb. Then, he leaned forwards. Syaoran shuddered when their lips met, but didn't draw away, there was nowhere to draw away to. His fists were clenched and his eyes wide, but slowly his eyelids dropped closed and his fists loosened, resting softly against Eriol chest instead of violently gripping the flaps of his cloak. His mouth opened and closed dryly, like a thirsty man questing for water, but what he met was the insistant pressure of Eriol's lips.  
  
When the taller boy finally broke it off, Syaoran lingered a moment, eyes glazed and movements muted and dream-like. Eriol smiled at him wryly.  
  
"Come now, Xiao Lang, that was much too easy."  
  
Syaoran's eyes opened completely and he stared up at the magician in horror, hands still clutching his robes like he was going to topple headfirst from his uncomfortable perch on the piano chair, "What are you doing!?" he demanded.  
  
"Well, I thought that was obvious, especially since you were being uncharacteristically cooperative."  
  
Syaoran shook his head, "No, I don't..." whatever he was about to say was drowned out by the press of Eriol's lips again, then turned into a gasp as the magician brushed his kisses along his taut jawline and exposed neck. Syaoran felt himself being eased backwards and flung out an arm to support himself, hitting only piano keys. The instrument made a long, sick rumbling of protest as Syaoran's hand slammed down, then an even louder ill-toned chord as the captor's shoulder blades hit a good portion of it's length. Syaoran arched into Eriol's deepening kisses, throwing his arms around the dark-haired boy's back.  
  
'This is a problem.' Syaoran realized, dociley allowing Eriol to trace the fine lines of his gums teasingly with his tounge, 'There is something fundamentally wrong with this.' but frankly, he had stopped caring.  
  
"I think that's enough music for now..."  
  
The piano moaned loudly and Eriol rose, dragging a gasping Syaoran with him. The instrument was still ringing as Eriol grinned madly and swooped Syaoran up into his arms with unnatural ease. The captor didn't trust himself enough to say anything and simply regarded Eriol with an expression halfway between a glare and curiosity.  
  
"You'll be a cold lover." Eriol stated mildly, "But then again, so am I..."  
* * *  
"I'm not your plaything, old man..." Syaoran said sometime later, a half growl rather characteristic of him, a half gasp as Eriol ran deft fingers across his bare spine, tugging his shirt over his shoulders. He attepted a glare, but his jaw was shuddering uncontrollably.  
  
"I know." Eriol assured, almost cooing as he systematically removed the chinese boy's multi-layered shikifuku.  
  
"And don't go getting any ideas that I love you." Syaoran muttered.  
  
"I know." Eriol was now unbutting his own robes, mild sadness touching his unruffled apperance.  
  
"Or even that I care about you..." Syaoran continued.  
  
"I know."  
  
"... I hate you." the young captor's voice was weak. Frightened. Vunerable, almost. The words 'I hate you' held more signifigance, more emotion than he was willing to allow himself to realize.  
  
"I know." Eriol allowed Syaoran to remove his glasses with trembling hands. He smiled enigmatically as he leaned the boy into the bed with cool expretise.  
  
"I do hate you... I just..."Syaoran's face screwed up and he gasped again as Eriol drew him in, chattering teeth resumed.  
  
"Hush Little Wofl..." Eriol breathed reassuringly, "I know..."  
  
Syaoran nodded, but as Eriol's lips brushed his, he jolted and pushed the taller boy away, eyes quivering with uncertainty and fear. "Remember..." he tried to sound severe, but his voice was quiet in the darkness of the confined room, "Don't toy with me..."  
  
Eriol drew away, a faint air of one insulted surrounding him. "Perhaps you don't understand, Xiao Lang..." his tone was even, his deaneour cold, but his voice held the slightest edge of sharp anger, "Have I not made you understand? I am not the omnipotent being I am believed to be." his voice dropped to barely a whisper, "I am not as strong as you think I am, Xiao Lang. I am not as certain. Not as in control. I have my insecurities. I am not Clow." he said those final words firmly. They were truth, but still, Syaoran shifted uncomfotably.  
  
"I don't trust you." he said finally.  
  
The corners of Eriol's lips truned upwards and he touched his nose to Syaoran's seductively, "Ah, but you should, Little Wolf..." he chuckled huskily, "I love you, you know that?"  
  
"Wha... what?" Syaoran fell back obidiently at those words studying Eriol more intently then he ever had except, perhaps, for the day they had met. It was hard to discearn fact from fiction anymore, but the magician had been right about one thing- there had been a gap in Syaoran's heart ever since the day Sakura died. A widening hole that had gotten used to devoted affection and that liked being told that it was loved.  
  
He sighed, finally giving into the irresistable tug, and relaxed in Eriol's tight embrace. 'Well, here I am Hiiragizawa' he thought bitterly, 'Let the puppet master weave his web...'  
* * *  
Syaoran blinked awake blurrily, noticing the unfamiliar surroundings first, the acing pain in his joints second. Third, he noticed that he was naked and at this point he became worried, as his memory was not offering up any clear explainations for what the hell had happened to him.  
  
"Good morning Xiao Lang. Did you sleep well?"  
  
Every muscel in Syaoran's body went frigid as he stuffly turned his neck to see none other than Eriol Hiiragizawa seated calmly at one end of the large room, lost in a high-backed and a heavy text book, his glasses hanging percariously on the edge of his nose. That's when it all came back to him.  
  
"Oh. Shit." Syaoran fell back helplessly into the pillows and squeezed his eyes shut, willing himself away.  
  
"I hope you don't mind. You needed sleep so I took a few liberties and lulled you with a sleeping spell."  
  
"Those don't seem to be the only liberties you took."  
  
Eriol grinned mildly and closed his book gracefully, stading in the same fluid movement, "Please, Xiao Lang. That hurts."  
  
"It better damn hurt." the chinese boy growled, clutching the bedsheet to his naked body as he fumbled around looking for his clothes and grumbling to himself about how much he must missed, sleeping through the day. Eriol just rolled his dark eyes and left the room.  
  
It wasn't until Syaoran was nearly dressed did the brevity of the situation really hit him. He buttoned up the sleeves of his Shikifuku, balking at the nasty tear down the front of the white undershirt when he realized: 'I slept with Hiiragizawa.'  
  
He let the last button fall loose and fell backwards, catching himself on the edge of the bed and sitting down soundly: 'I slept with Hiiragizawa. What the hell was I thinking!? What the hell kind of state of mind was I in that made me possibly feel that it was a good idea to SLEEP with Hiiragizawa!?' he shook his head helplessly and ran his hand through his messy hair, 'I have to stop off at home first, I can't go see the others like this. What are they going to think? What the hell do I think!?'  
  
He bit his lip and raised his gaze to study the ceiling only to find that he was staring at the top of a large, canopy bed. The black curtains were drawn back, the satin sheets all a mess and the four posts were engravd with various mythical, symbolic creatures. It had to have been Hiiragizawa's private bedroom, more evidence of this could be seen by the telescope leaning against the window and the massive bookshelf embedded into the south wall.  
  
'Oh, God, God, God. May the spirits help me, I have to get out of here.' he stood and exited to room hastily, finishing the last fastnings and buttonings on the run. He headed for the exit, but was stopped by the sound of Eriol's silken voice.  
  
"Xiao Lang, were you planning on leaving without saying farewell?"  
  
Eriol had his arms crossed and was wearing a ridiculous pout. Syaoran sighed and approached him, glaring slightly but feeling guilt as well.  
  
'What the hell have I done? Does this make us lovers now?'  
  
Eriol nodded into a shallow bow, "I apologize for any disrespect I may have inadvertantly shown you." he said neutrally. Syaoran gulped. What kind of a game did he think he was playing.  
  
They stared each other down for an unbearably long few moments, so unbearable that it was Syaoran who finally sputtered out in fustration and closed the gap between them, pressing their lips together in a surprisingly tender and lingering kiss that lasted far longer than Syaoran had intended it to. Eriol broke it off, tracing his long fingers along Syaoran's cheekbones and grinning triumphantly.  
  
"I've won." he murmered.  
* * *  
Through Meiling's eyes the world was colorless. She clenched her hands into angry, painful fists as she stumbled through the countryside, her gaze barely passing over the black trees, white sky and gray water. She knew where she was going, but at the same time she was lost.  
  
Syaoran was supposed to have saved her. Syaoran was supposed to understand how hurt she was, how much he had wronged her. Then, when something went terribly wrong he was supposed to cry out in shock and gather her up in his strong arms and say:  
  
'Meiling, my cousin! My eternal friend! I am so sorry for every wrong thing I've ever done! Will you forgive me? Do I even deserve your forgivness!?'  
  
And then she was supposed to laugh in a charming matter and tap his head, saying: "Oh Xiao Lang you silly little boy. Of course I forgive you, what's family for after all?"  
  
Cue sappy music and obligatory pink sunset. Syaoran, Meiling and Tomoyo all link arms and go home happyily ever after. Roll credits.  
  
Funny how life never worked out that way. Funny how in your mind you always imagine it to, like it's a written script and who knows? Maybe it is, the only thing for certain is that it never works out the way you want it to, because someone else is writing it. Someone cruel and powerful.  
  
Like Hiiragizawa.  
  
Meiling fell to her knees, half out of exhaustion and half because she was laughing to hard to keep herself upright anymore. Tears rolled down her eyes and she closed her fingers around the cool grass. She was laughing because she had finally discovered the meaning of it all- Clow was writing the script. Sakura's death, Syaoran's betrayal, Yuki and Yue's problems. Even his own problems- Eriol's problems- all of it was a game to the ancient musician and they were his willing puppets.  
  
If the others knew. If only Syaoran knew. Of course, she could tell them, go back home and warn them all of their impeding doom due to the fact that they were all just puppets twirling and dipping to some perverted old man's twisted desires but she had other plans. For now, she would just sit back and watch the dance... 


	9. IX so take this noise into your brain an...

**Cessation**  
_Izzy Girl_ **IX** _so take this noise into your brain and send it back again_ Everyone has their own personal definiton of 'foolishness' that they change from situation to situation to suit their own purposes and actions. Case and point: After Sakura's death Tomoyo Daijoubi used to think that it was foolish to hope for her best friend to come back, the nature of death being somewhat unforgiving in that area. She spent two years changing herself and her nature to live in a world without Sakura. She hid away her memories and her sewing kit and all those other pieces of her personality that in some way encorperated her beloved Card Captor. But now, she realized that it was foolish to think that having hope was foolish. Maybe sometimes miracels did happen, or perhaps their original assumption had been wrong afterall. She didn't know what to think and frankly she didn't care. All she knew was that somehow, some way Sakura was alive and watching over them. The others all looked at her funny when she said this, like they didn't believe her but Tomoyo just shrugged it off. People were more willing to accept bad news than good. Case and point: Sakura dies, leaving behind no body or evidence of her death yet everyone accepts this. Sakura's best friend discovers that she is in fact, alive offering the indisputable proof of having seen her and everyone looks at her cross eyed. Perhaps it was due to Tomoyo's inability to explain how she knew it was Sakura, her inability to explain how she knew it was a person at all. All Syaoran and the others saw was the water rise, then fall suddenly. They didn't see the figure swoop down from the shadows and seal the card and even if they had, no doubt they would have assumed it was simply Hiiragizawa playing around with them again. What they didn't realize is that the figure pulled Tomoyo from the waters. It saved her life personally and spoke to her, and when it spoke it used Sakura's voice. Tomoyo liked to think that she had kown Sakura better than anyone, even better than Touya or Syaoran. She understood all of Sakura's actions, her ambitions and emotions and soul. She understood that everyone had their own, unique aura and that aura was completely different from anyone else's who was living or had lived or would live. Tomoyo liked to think that she knew what Sakura's aura felt like and what she had trouble explaining to the others was that she had felt Sakura's aura envelop her that night with the watery card. Now she was sitting crosslegged in her bed room with her hair let loose and falling around her like the branches of a weeping willow. Her forehead was beaded with sweat and her muscels so tense that she felt as if the veins in her body were about to snap under the pressure. Before her laid the Mirror card. Her experience with the Watery card had given her the extra resolve she needed to go ahead and try what she wanted to try, even without the others's support. She had communicated with the elemental card, she hoped that under less stress she would be able to converse with a card using language. She chose the Mirror card for a multitude of reasons, but mostly because it was one of the more agreeable in the deck. Aside from that it was known for reaching out and trying to open lines of communication with humans on several occasions. Tomoyo was hoping it would be easily coaxed. She felt a click in the air and relaxed. She opened her eyes and allowed her long-held breath to come out in a long, relieved sigh. The card before her rose upright as if it were looking at her, then spun, a light-violet smoke enveloping it. Before Tomoyo's eyes it morphed into a perfect copy of herself, though slight less opaque and with a luminescent quality that made it seem unearthly and mysterious. "Hello." Tomoyo said softly, smiling. The card didn't reply, just stared, "My name is Tomoyo Daijoubi. I was a friend of Master Kinomoto." The air in the room seemed to grow stiffer. Tomoyo thought it might be her imagination, but when she focused that tiny but razor sharp magical sense Syaoran had brought out in her, she realized that the card had made a reaction in relation to Sakura's name. It was not a happy one. Tomoyo frowned. "You don't like that, do you? You cards don't like it when I say Sakura's name." the air sitffened further and Tomoyo took this as an affirmative, "Why," she continued, "Why don't you like it? Wasn't she your master?" no reply, "I don't understand. I... I spoke...' was that the right word?, "I sproke with your kin, the Watery card. She- she said that you were betrayed." The Mirror card then did something quite unexpected. She narrowed her eyes angrily and leapt three feet in the air, spreading her arms in a violent manner. Her mouth moved wordless on Tomoyo's face and if one watched closely enough... "... broke her vow. The master broke her vow." Tomoyo repeated carefully, "The Master broke her vow? Are you saying that Sakura broke some sort of code set up by Clow Reed? You're trying to say that she did something she wasn't supposed to do." The Card slowly descended back to the floor and sat crosslegged, perfectly mirroring Tomoyo. It's face went blank and it shook it's head, the air returning to normal. Then, with a sound almost like a smothered sigh the sprite dissapeared, leaving in it's place the card dungeon where it resided. 

* * *

"... a Code? Keroberos, whyever would I want to do that?" The tiger-like beast shrugged his massive shoulders uncomfortably, "I think that it would help in the long run. No just anyone should be able to become a Master of the Cards." Clow peered at the Gaurdian over the ridges of his reading glasses, "Kero, are you worried?" "Huh? Worried about what?" "About your next Master?" The gaurdian shuffled his feet and watched the grass rustle in the breeze beneath his paws, "Maybe. Just a little I suppose. What if it's a frivilous person? Or a moraless person? You have no idea exactly what this descendent of yours will turn out to be like, do you? What if the new Master can't keep their prorities straight?" Clow grinned thinly, returning his attention to his book, "I don't think that you will have to worry much about that, my old friend. I've plenty in restore for them, but if it makes you feel more secure I can arrange for one more final test. One to test these- 'priorities'- you seem so concerned about..." 

* * *

"Oh, Dad! I didn't realize you'd be back so soon!" Touya carried on a silent dialouge of curse words with himself as his father creaked through the front door, shaking rain off his umbrella and briefcase. The older man sighed when he laid eyes on his son, for Touya was wearing an apron and had half his body stuck in the refridgerator. "I take it Yukito's over." he smiled weakly, obviously exhausted from his long trip. He kicked his shoes off eagerly and fell into his favorite reading chair without taking his jacket off. "Dad, don't sit on the furniture like that. You'll get it wet." "Doesn't the boy have parents? I don't see why you're always the one who looks after him when he's ill." Mr. Kinomoto continued, refusing to veer away from the subject. Touya nerves were weakening with every passing moment as he arranged the last of their rice cakes on a large platter. He was beginning to see that the true problem in Yue and Yukito's seperation was having to deal with both enormous appetites. After warning his father away from his room he would have to go grocery shopping again. "I don't mind, Dad. In fact I usually offer." Touya blanced the rice cake tray in one hand, in the other he grabbed the large half-empty bag of potato chips Ruby had left in her wake the last time she was over, "Anyways, I'm going out in a few minutes, could you be sure to keep the door to my room locked? Yuki's finally sleeping and I don't want him disturbed." Mr. Kinomoto nodded absently and waved his hand in dismissal, yawning widely and letting his eyes drop closed beneath his round, wire-rimmed spectacles, "I know, I know. I never go in your room anyways, Touya. Don't be so suspicious." Touya sighed in relief as he realized that his father would most likely spend the afternoon sleeping. He started up the stairs when he was stopped again by Mr. Kinomoto's groggy voice. "Touya, I was thinking the other day... are you going to be applying to college this year? You've already taken an entire year off. You'll be twenty this fall, I'd hate to see you fall behind." Touya pressed his lips together and tapped his foot against the third step impatiently. His father certainly was picking the wrong moment for this discussion. He'd taken the year off between High School and college to help Syaoran and Tomoyo deal with the Clow Card crisis. He had been intending to apply the coming autumn, but due to recent developments it seemed as if that would be almost impossible. Yukito didn't have those sorts of problems. Ever since he had become aware of Yue's prescence inside of him he'd had this way of- dissapearing. Not that his physical being actual dissapated into this air leaving only the faintest traces of his aura. That was all in the fantasy stories, real magic never worked that way. It was always more practical. Yukito was only noticed when he wanted to be, only remembered when he cared for it. Touya found it unsettling on the occasion, wondering if a time would ever come that the boy would think it beneficial to dissapear completely from his life. "Um, oddly enough I was just thinking about that myself," Touya arched his leg up the next stair catiously, anxious to escape this discussion, "I'll look into it next week, okay." "Mmm-Hmm, that's sounds good." 

* * *

"I've made a decision." Yukito's eyes fluttered, unfocused and bleary due to his lack of glasses. He groped for Yue's hand and the Gaurdian gave it reluctantly. He knew what the human boy was thinking. "Everyone will be upset." "No one will know." "That's hardly true and you know it." Yukito sighed and pressed his head back into the pillow. His mouth twisted into an akward expression when he heard Touya's soft footfalls approaching the room. He gave Yue a meaningful look, "Don't tell To-ya..." 

* * *

An hour and a half later Touya was hauling four heavy grocery bags down the eerily empty streets, barely able to see over the top of the percariously placed milk carton in the back package. On top of this, it was raining profously, as it had been since the night after the Watery card's defeat at the hands of Tomoyo. The papaer bags were hopelessly soggy and barely clinging to their contents and Touya cursed his lack of foresight, lamenting silently on the fact that he should have brought his bike or his father along. He had never seen the streets so empty. He wondered if perhaps it was due to the rain, or maybe because of the strange happenstance of the past week. There were no cars on the road and as far a Touya could see down the sidewalk no people. He grumbled and shifted his grip on the tipping grocery bags. When he brought his attention upwards, he saw a tall woman. It was as if she appeared out of nowheres, which was a stupid thought. She had probably just been obscured by the fog. The milk carton had finally reached it's wit's end and with very little commotion, broke free of it's wet-paper bonds and plummeted towards the ground with an intense determination. Touya stopped watching and looked on unimpressed as the carton crashed to the ground with a dull, thick 'thud' and proceeded to get rained on. With a sour expression he prepared the acrobatic performance of his life and retrieved the offending grocery, somehow placing it back into the gradually deterioating pile in his long arms. When he glanced back up at the street, the woman was gone. He blinked in confusion, as he had not heard her pass him. The entire process of milk retrieval had taken less than four seconds, he doubted she could have changed her course in such a short space. Then he remembered back to something. It wasn't something he thought about often- something, in fact, that he didn't care thinking about. It happened when he was very, very little- when his mother was still alive in fact. _He had been walking down the street happily holding her hand. It was mid summer and her hair waved in the breeze ever so slightly as she smiled at the passing strangers. Touya had been working on a rapidly melting ice cream cone when his mother had stopped to talk to a street vendor. She released his hand and his wandered a bit, spotting a man stading in the corner. His eyes were downcast and it seemed that when Touya looked at him, he could see the wall on the otherside of him. He thought this was strange, so he walked a bit closer. Suddenly, the man's head shot up and he stared at the boy with hollow eyes, all crisscrossed with spiderwebs and darkness. Touya screamed, but his own frantic yell was drowned out by another. He spun to see that a girl, not much older than he was himself, had run out into the road. The car approached her almost in slow motion as everyone on the street watched. Some rushed out to help her, but in the end..._ Touya shook off the memory and looked around with increased awareness. He had stopped seeing spirits a long time ago, but when he did it was always a preminition of sorts. It always meant something bad was about to happen. Sure enough, the rain stopped. Not entirely, because Touya could still hear it pit-pattering against the ground and windowpanes, but at least where he was standing the rain no longer fell. He rasied his face to the sky and found that he could still see the rain but it never quite hit him. Then it got still. He flung the groceries from his arms and dived, barreling forwards until he could feel the rain against his skin again. He was still caught in the blast, though, and was flung at least seven feet until he tumbled to a stop againsta brick wall. Painfully, he pulled himself to his feet and watched as the sidewalk erupted into a pillar of inferno, reaching it's one thick arm towards the clouds. He breathed in deeply, hardly believing his luck. He should have known better than to go out alone without tracking down Syaoran or one of the Gaurdian's first. He realized that he had a strong magical sense, but it was useless on his own unless he learned how to use it properally. The flame faded and in the center, bright and burning in the gray, muggy air, was the firery card glowing like a dying ember. Touya could swear it's face fell in dissapointment when it laid it's iridescent crimson eyes on him, but a moment later's it's mouth flickered in an unmistakable smile. Touya was frozen as he watched the sprite's every movement. It spread it's arms and spun once, flashing Touya another wry smile before vanishing. He waited tensely for several seconds until he realized it wasn't coming back. It was several more seconds before he finally allowed himself to breathe a sigh of relief. _'It was just... playing with me...'_ he realized, dumbfounded and more than slightly insulted. The cards would never have dared to tease the Li boy in such a way. Touya was also a descendant of their creator, and more so the brother of their master and they dared mock him. Realizing that it was pretty to think in such a way, Touya stopped himself and approached the scorched circle of ground, intent on salvaging the charred food as best he could. 

* * *

Yukito wasn't there. It was a further three hours later, as Touya had been forced to return to the store and buy an entirely new set of groceries. He had a bowl of steaming chicken noodle soup propped in one hand, his other holding the door open haphazardly. He peeked in only to find that the room was flawless- the bed made impeccably, the books and clothing all in proper place. It was if Touya himself hadn't even lived there, and certainly showed no sign of it's newest, less-tidy resident. "Hey Dad!" he called, mounted at the top of the stairs, soup long forgotten on his desk, "Did Yukito go out? I told you not to let him leave!" There was the noise of rustling newspaper and slippes on hardwood floor before his father's face appeared at the foot of the stairwell, wearing a cocked eyebrow, "What are you talking about, Touya? Who's Yukito?" * * * Out at the edge of town a boy stumbled along in the rain, protected only by a heavy, brown coat that reached well past his knees. He stopped every few paces to rub the fog from his glasses and his brown hair was matted against his forehead. Someone who had known this boy before would have rememebered that until a week prior, his hair had held a silver luster along with that pale, dusty-brown hue. A few might have even known the reason for this change. But there was no one who knew him and in a few hours no one would remember him. He liked it better that way because if no one knew him, if no one remembered him, life would be a lot easier. He paused and leaned his slender body against a tree. Not many came out this way, towards the mountains, but this path had been taken recently. He could feel it. "Where are we going?" He looked up to see the creature beside him, pale and glowing, untouched by the rainstorm. His lavendar eyes stared off into the colorless horizen disinterestedly but the boy knew the truth- he was scared. They both were, but being entirely different people showed it in entirely different ways. That was important to him, that they were different people. The boy sighed and rubbed his glasses against his sleeve again, placing them on the tip of his nose so that he could better see his unearthly companion, "I don't know." he said softly, "Anywheres but here..." 


	10. interlude it was akward all the talk we ...

**Cessation**  
_Izzy Girl_ **interlude** _it was akward; all the talk we made was small_ Setting: empty street, night, raining Two shadowy figures meet, one of these is cleary Eriol Hiiragizawa, as usual, dressed in the leas conservative garb he could manage. The other is hidden too deeply in shadows to see clearly. Eriol chuckles. E: Well, fancy meeting you here. The other replies, but the voice is obscrued and muffled. E: It was rather uncalled for, I agree. (Reply) E: Considering the current conditions, would you expect me to appear otherwise? It would be simply irresponsable. (Pause, then reply) Eriol chuckles again, this time abashedly. E: I always was a vain one, but enough about me. What about you? You must have seen some things in your travel to give you pause if you've shown up here. Or was it simply that...? (Eriol is cut off. The reply is sharp this time) E: I'm sorry. I shouldn't have... (Interrupted again. The other figure turns) E: ... well then, I understand. Your secrets safe with me. But I can't garuntee silence on 'his' part. _____________________ Eriol gazed out at the empty city thinking about the various times he had done this in the recent past. The streets were always busy and dotted with cars and lights. Now, all the windows were dark and one could see the faintest traces of stars when they turned their gaze towards the heavens. He ran his finger along the edge of the knife, absorbing the knowledge of it's dark and rich history in the movements of his digit. He would lose those memories and that knowledge soon, but it was inconsequential. Everything was inconsequential now, 'she' had proved that. There was no difference between being dead and alive other than one's state of mind. Right now Eriol considered himself dead, but if he carried through with what he had to do, he would be alive. It was simple and concrete, like mathematics but only in nature. He turned the knife inwards and did not wince as it glinted sharply, the moon catching it's edge and illuminating the tip as a warning. The moon was his garudian, more loyal than even the sun had been, but he cared no longer. There was no better way to communicate this than to close his eyes, breathe in deeply and let the blade find his skin. It wasn't as painful as he'd imagined. In fact, the knife felt cool as it sliced into his stomach, prying open organs and spilling blood. It was a fascinating feeling. He drove the knife in harder. Inside his mind a scream broke. He wasn't sure if it was his own, or the voice of the master. He closed his eyes and swayed, catching his grip against the railing on the edge of the roof's lookout point. Around him a whirlwind whipped. It wasn't wind or magic, but of aura and emotion. He wasn't sure what was happening except that it was working. Not until the wind died down and the scream faded did Eriol allow his hand to fall free of the knife. It clattered against the roof's surface noiselessly and the dark haired boy collapsed. The night was deadly silent and for once, his mind was to. Down deep in the center of his being he could feel a space. It was hollowed and wrong feeling and when he focused on it too intently, it made him shiver from a far-off, indefinable dread. He was empty, but free. He rolled over onto his back and opened his eyes. When he watched the moon, he felt no kinship with it. He could see the stars, but their power didn't affect him. _He was empty. But he was free._ Slowly, he laughed. Stiff, disjointed sounds that gained speed, conviction and power. His throat brought up blood and his wound ached, but he couldn't stow the mad, broken sound. He sobbed through the glee and held himself tightly where the blood stained his robes and listened to his own madness echoed in and out among the rows of silent houses, the only sound that penetrared the night. _'So this is what it feels like...'_


	11. X don't try with faiths and fears

**Cessation** _Izzy Girl_

**X **_don't try with faiths and fears_

"Do you find anything strange about this?" Kero hung his tiny front paws over the head of the couch and stared blankly as Touya poured himself a nearly over-flowing bowl of cereal and proceeded to spoon it into his mouth as if everything were completely normal again. 

"I don't sense Yue's aura." Spinel said gravely. He folded his black paws over one another and aquired as sagely an expression as he could manage in his current form. 

"Well, isn't it possible that's he's rejoined with Yuki?" 

"Then he should be fine, right? But why isn't he up and about?" Ruby sighed and leaned her head back as she whispered as to have a better view of the other gaurdians. She was in her 'human' form once known as 'Nakuru'. 

"Why don't we just ask?" Spinel's voice was ever deadpan, "Seems to me that the strightforward methods usually work best." 

Ruby nodded resolutely and stood, stalking over to where Touya was calmly eating his cereal and planted herself on the table, crossing her long legs and staring down at the boy curiously. He stopped eating, his spoon paused mid-air between the bowl and his mouth. Slowly, he turned his head to look at her. 

"Yeeeees?" 

"So what's up? How's Yuki?" 

Touya's brow furrowed and he shoved the dripping spoon into his mouth, "Yuki? What do you mean?" he wondered when he had swallowed the cereal. 

"I mean about him and, you know, Yue. Last I heard they were both on the brink of dissapearing. What happened? How are they?" 

Touya's attention was abruptly ripped away from his breakfast. He stared at Ruby long and hard before saying carefully, "Oookay... I have no idea what you're talking about. Who are Yuki and Yue?" 

Ruby's face fell, "What do you mean 'Who are Yuki and Yue'? Yue as in the Moon gaurdian and Yuki as in Yukito Tsukishiro. Your... boyfriend." 

"Boyfriend!?" Touya leapt from his seat, dark eyes wide and wild with confusion, "Ruby is this your idea of a sick joke?" he shook his head and snickered, "Besides, that's ridiculous. You're the Moon gaurdian, Ruby, you always were. Don't you remember? You spent most of your time disguised as a classmate of mine, Nakuru Akizuki until the final test." he lowered himself back into his seat and tipped his head, "You remember, don't you? Sometimes, Ruby, you make up these stories and I wonder..." he bowed his head over his cereal and began once again his concentrated devouration of the soggy wheat. 

Ruby slid off the table and collapsed onto the couch, "What is going on around here..." 

Before either Kero or Spinel could echo her lamentation, the door swung open revealing a primly dressed Tomoyo carrying her... video camera. She stopped and surveyed the kitchen and living room slowly before slipping off her shoes and taking a seat beside Ruby on the couch. 

"Is something strange going on?" she asked frankly, fiddling with a few colored switches on the side of her prized device. 

"I'd say." Kero rose and fluttered into Tomoyo's line of vision, arms crossed as was typical of him, "Touya's acting like he's got amnesia or somethin' and neither Yukito or Yue are anywhere to be seen." 

Tomoyo blinked blankly a few times, then covered her mouth and giggled prettily, "Oh, Kero, Ruby. You guys are so funny, always making up these stories and people then trying to make us believe that they really exist. It's a wonder Suppi puts up with you!" 

Over the girl's shoulders Spinel and Kero exchanged a meaningful look. Ruby just stared at Tomoyo in disbeief. 

"Anyways," giggling exhumed, Tomoyo was all business, "We have trouble." 

"What kind of trouble?" Touya piped up from the kitchen area, between moutfuls of cereal. 

"The kind of trouble we usually have." Tomoyo sighed loudly, "The Firery. It's causing trouble down by the waterfront and it's all over the Tomoeda news." 

Touya appeared in the doorway, rolling his eyes and pulling on a sweater, "So much for keeping this matter hush-hush among the civilians. So I suppose we're picking 'him' up on the way." 

"He's not home. I already rung his house. It's strange, it's been three days since the fight with the Watery card and I haven't seen him since." 

"Not a big deal." Touya shrugged as he tied his shoelaces, "We've captured cards without him before, we can do it again." 

"Don't get to confident." Spinel warned, "This is different than the 'Jump' card, or the 'Mirror' card. This is an elemental we're talking about. They're much stronger and as of late, unpredictable." 

Tomoyo turned her large, watery eyes on the cat, "Well, we wouldn't be in so much danger if we had you with us, would we Suppi?" 

The gaurdian sweatdropped and shot hopeless glances at his two comapnions. Kero simply gave the thumbs up and Ruby winked. 

* * *

"Spirit of Thunder!" Syaoran twirled his blade and caught the creature offgaurd as the lightning strike shot from the charm clenched between his fingers. He landed soundly on his feet and grinned in shallow satisfaction when his foe finally fell. 

There were plenty of oni wandering around in the graveyard out by the well. He had made a pilgrammage of sorts, for in these woods and hills of deep and ancient imbedded magic Sakura's gravemarker laid. During the past three days, Syaoran had thought of nothing but his training and for the first time in months could feel himself actively improving. He watched the translucent figure at his feet disintigrate into the ground, trees and sky. He wiped his brow, pushing his ceremonial cap up so that he could look at the patchwork sea of leaves and faint sunlight above him. 

The rain had finally stopped, but his clothes were still wet from the two days and two nights of torrent storm. 

_'I've won.'_

Another oni rose from the forest floor, gnashing it's teeth. It meant no harm and was only defending it's land. Maybe at at different time under different circumstances Syaoran might have regreted his careless slaughter of the creatures, but he was on a mission of purification and focus. 

_'I've won.'_

He swung his sword viciously, but not recklessly. His aim was percise and the cut of the blade sharp. The demon fell immedietly, only to be replaced by a larger and more fearsome one of his kin. Syaoran groped for a fire charm and flipped the colored rice paper scroll against the arm of his sword, throwing the oni backwards to it's demise. 

_'I've won.'_

He fought faster and with a stiffer determination. He would not lose, he would never lose again. Never be weakened or embarassed or put into a compromising situation. He promised Sakura he would be strong, and if only to preserve her memory he would be strong for her. Just because he had failed her in life didn't mean he had to fail her in death. He would honor and protect her memory until he too died and beyond. 

_'Ive won.'_

The oni finally keeled over, his body absorbed by the roots of an old gnarled oak. Syaoran spun his line of vision around the small clearing and when no more demons rose to meet his challenge, he let out an almost primal growl and flung his sword with all the force he could manage. It few through the air for a few feet then imbedded itself into the same oak the oni's soul had seeped into. The chinese boy stared after it, breathing heavily, then fell to his knees. He succumed to exhaustion and crumpled over himself, his cheek practically resting in his own lap and his back rising a falling with qucik, short and thick breaths. 

"Damn you, Hiiragizawa." he muttered, digging his tired fingers into the soft ground, "Damn, damn, damn, damn, DAMN." he closed his eyes and lowered his face further. His fingers against the dirt felt horrible- grimy and painful as the tiny rocks and pin-needles dug themselves under his fingernails, but it perfectly emulated his mood. 

The memories had returned to him- every concious moment of that night; every word, every kiss and shiver and sensation. He wished he could say that Eriol had taken advantage of him. He wished he could say that he had been seduced, raped even, but the truth was he knew perfectly well what to expect and how to expect it. Eriol had only spoken the truth- Syaoran was so horribly lonely and teenage mentality dictates that young minds and hearts gravitate towards those who show interest in them. 

In the end, he had been the one taking advantage. 

"I'm sorry Sakura." he practically sobbed. He rolled over onto his side and stared ahead blankly at where his sword had cut into the once healthy bark and wood-flesh of the oak tree. He then looked at his brown hands, dirt caked underneath the fingernails and ringed around his cuticles, "I'm so sorry, Sakura." he repeated, "I can't keep the group together, can't capture the cards and now I can't even remain faithful to you or your memories. I don't blame you if you hate me." 

He laid like that for a very long time. He didn't count the seconds or even the minutes as they ticked past although he was fully capable. Instead his eyes followed the deep and ancient lines in the tree bark and his gaze skimmed the top of the grass. He listened to the wind and sighed into it as he stood, shakily and wavering, and retrieved his sword slowly, reluctantly. 

There had been a slight change in the disposition of nature that only a practiced, magical mind would have noticed. Syaoran had been trained by his mother practically since birth to recognize the disruptions- a temperature drop of a degree or so; the wind moving from east to west instead of west to east; the way the grass would stand up on end and the trees would rustle just a bit harder than they had been. He didn't know where but there was trouble, most likely with the cards. 

_'I've been missing for over three days...' _he affirmed silently, feeling along his sword to test for increased dullness, _'I suppose the others have been worried.'_ he didn't even bother retracting his weapon back into it's bead, simply slung it over his shoulder as he walked dispassionately, headed towards the direction his magical sense led him. 

* * *

"This isn't right..." Ruby exclaimed through mouthfuls of salty popcorn, "The last time I watched this film, Yukito had been playing one of the lead roles. I remember this very well." 

"Uncanny." Kero motioned for the other gaurdian to pass him to bowl. He stuffed a tiny pawful of food into his mouth and returned to his worried ranting, "I know you weren't the one playing that role. In fact, this was when Touya gave up his spiritual powers so Yue could survive." 

"And all these other tapes!" Ruby waved towards the mighty pile that represented Tomoyo's video collection, "So many scenes that couldn't have taken place without Yuki, Yue or both and in all of them... I'm there in all of them!" 

"It doesn't make any sense." Kero crossed his stubby arms and shook his head with a conflicted expression, "I'm worried." 

"Strange things have been happening." Ruby sighed and closed her eyes, "I feel it down to the marrow of my bones, Keroberos. Something's gone horribly wrong. And worst of all, the master's back and he refuses to speak with anyone but that Li boy." 

Kero shrugged his shoulders lightly and let out a long breath, "Well, it's only been since Sakura died. I always thought her death must have had some inverse effect on the cards... I mean, the Master had made sure these things were all taken care of before he passed on, but Sakura... she was so young..." 

"Hey..." Ruby's brilliant eyes snapped open and she turned her head to stare at Kero with revelation stamp across her features, "Kero, you don't suppose that Yue and Yukito really did... well... dissapear." 

Kero snorted, "That's stupid, Ruby. We would have felt it if that much magical energy was released into the area all at once." 

Ruby shook her head, "No, no. I didn't mean like that. I meant... what if they left and simply chose to erase everyone's memories of them. Make it like they never even existed." 

Kero blinked, "Could they... do that?" 

"Yukito spent years doing it unconciously, I'm sure they could figure out some deliberate way to do it together. Maybe it was more convinient that way." 

"Okay, okay." Kero was up, pacing sterotypically now, "This all makes sense. Then why do we remember them?" 

"Easy." Ruby would have been grinning if the situation hadn't been such a grave one. Instead, she placed a slender index finger on her pointed chin and pursed her lips, "We're creatures made up entirely of magical energy. Our minds aren't wired the same as a human's because they don't solidly exist." 

"Right!" Kero leapt up and nearly shouted, "Human brains are just lumps of electrical energy and flesh sitting around in their head. It would be so easy to..." he trailed off here, grumbling about the idiotic workings of nature. Ruby waited patiently until he snapped out of it, and then asked: 

"Well, Kero. Now that we've figured it out... what do we do about it?" 

Kero thought about this long and hard for a few moments before answering. He dropped his shoulders and sighed, settling back into the groove between the couch cusions, "I don't suppose we can do anything... so, let's not. When Yue feels like coming back to us, he will. I'm sure of that at least..." 

"And what if he never feels like coming back?" 

Kero didn't answer this time. 

* * *

Touya felt supremely useless and unecessarily ridiculous fending off the vicious fire sprite with only an umbrella. True, it was not just any umbrella but the point was Tomoyo happened to be filming the entire thing and there were onlookers. 

_'Onlookers!' _he lamented silently, feeling rather tragic as he dodged a tricky shot and jabbed at the card with the point of his umbrella, _'I bet my sister never had to deal with onlookers...'_

Spinel dipped down beside him, lithe and panther like with his dusty, butterfly wings. He stared at the older Kinomoto disdainfully and muttered, "Well, so much for your dignity." 

"Thank you, Suppi. I needed that." Touya groaned back, "I already feel stupid enough and on top of it the card's just playing with me. It knows we're just trying to hold it off until 'he' gets here." 

"Well, give it a good game then." Spinel said cheerfully with his deep, British lilt, "We wouldn't want him to be too excited when Li finally decides to show up." 

"What makes you think he'll even know to come." 

Spinel humphed as he always did when his knowledge of things was challenged, "It's common sense. The boy is highly trained and has Clow blood in him. He couldn't stay away if he wanted to." 

Spinel bounced back up as another flame-extended arm slammed down on their position. Touya was too late to dodge this one and blocked the blow with the length of his umbrella. The canvas began to stink with burn, but the magical sealing in the object did it's job. He was thrown back from to force of his blow, but was light enough on his feet that he was able to dive before the next barrage of fire zoned in on him. 

Tomoyo clapped at the sidelines and peeked her head out from behind her camera, "You're doing great Touya! And you look so magnificent on camera!" she ginned madly, "You know, this is just like old times." 

Touya shot her a cold look, sensing how ravaged he must appear, "You could do something, Tomoyo, instead of just playing cheerleader. I think both Suppi and I would aprreciate it." 

"Don't be silly!" Tomoyo laughed, "You're not in any real danger. The Firery's looking for a real battle, so he's keeping on the kid gloves till' Syao-chan gets here. Until then all you have to do is keep it happy so it doesn't go around toasting random townspeople." 

"And the umbrella?" Touya gestured hopelessly with the charred object. 

"It looks good on camera." Tomoyo explained cheerfully, hiding her eyes once again behind the lens. 

"Oh shit!" Touya rolled in a way that wasn't at all natural to avoid the smoldering telephone pole falling rapidly towards him. He lost the umbrella in the fall and with it the only protection he could hope for. He reached out a strong arm, but as he reached he felt the oppressive heat close in around him. He rolled back in the other direction but was caught once again by the wall of flames. He looked up to see the rebellious card sprite hovering no more than three feet above his head and shrunk back into the pavement. 

The card looked upon him with wide, child-like eyes as if gauging his skill and intentions. It looked none too impressed and bored with this game. _'It's going to kill me,'_ Touya swallowed the hard lump in his throat as this traitorous thought worked it's way into his mind, _'Just like the Watery tried to kill Tomoyo. All because I'm Sakura's brother.'_

He closed his eyes and decided to take the end like a man. He waited... and waited... and waited and eventually noticed that it wasn't so nearly sweltering. He blinked his eyes opened and saw that his situation hadn't imporved much, but the walls had receded and the Firery's head was turned to watch some far off point in the distance. Touya propped himself on his elbows and followed the card's gaze to see a silhouette illuminated against the edge of a low, cafe rooftop. The glare of the noon sun directly above prevented him from seeing it fully, but he could tell it was Li in the slump of his shoulders and the lethargically depressed way he drew his sword out from behind him. 

He dove and the Firery swooshed her flame skirts to meet him. Spinel landed softly beside the still shaky Touya and grinned beneath his masses of sleek, black fur, "I told you he would come." 

Touya nodded and pulled himself off the ground, dusting his clothes fussily. He briefly considered retrieving his umbrella, but quickly decided against it, instead settling his attention on Syaoran. 

The boy fought like nothing Touya had ever seen before. His technical skill was absolutely astounding, better than it had ever been, but his face was emotionless as he swung his blade and paried, pulling out scroll after scroll. He moved in smooth, but sloppy movements and hardly flinched when he hit the ground wrong or was slashed across by a steaming tendril. 

Touya furrowed his brow and watched closely. _'What is wrong with him' _he wondered in dismay, _'I've never seen him fight like this. It's like he takes no pride in it anymore.'_

The gathering audience had grown to include tourists who seemed to think this was all a great special effects show put on for their benefit and the local authorities who had presumably been called to halt the disaster. Tomoyo seemed to be in almost a Euphoric state, absolutely thrilled with the excellent footage she was collecting but Syaoran ignored it all. When the Firery fell, crashing into the harbour with great commotion, he called upon the power of the Kinomoto star with uncharacteristic casualness. 

When it was all over he stood at where the boardwalk met water and stared at the card for a long time, his sword barely clenched in his hand and the very last traces of magic still dissapating into the air. There was a long moment of collective silence, broken by the quiet clicking sound of Tomoyo snapping shut the display unit on her camcorder. 

The spell having been broken, the audience broke into wild clapping and hooting cheers of approval. Touya let out the breath he had been holding and fought the urge to clap as well. He was about to approach the chief policeman and attempt to explain the situation when Syaoran whipped around violently, his face marred by pure fury. 

"What the HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU ALL!?" 

Not everyone stopped clapping immedietly, but the din wore out in less than thirty seconds. Syaoran's entire body was quivering with rage as he dragged himself out into the middle of the crowd. He cast his dark eyed glared across the entire crowd and it seemed as if he were staring specifically at each induvidual one at a time. 

"This isn't a performance, you idiots! What the hell do you think is going on here!? Didn't you see the people who got caught in the crossfire earlier on!? This is a SERIOUS MATTER! I could have died fighting that thing and you ALL COULD HAVE DIED IF IT DECIDED I WASN'T A WORTHY ENOUGH OPPONENT!" 

A few faces in the crowd were beginning to pale and a child of a tourist started crying. Syaoran continued, "Haven't you morons been watching the news lately!? Strange things- dangerous things are happening around here! Next time you see something like this happening in the middle of the firgging road STAY CLEAR OF IT! It's not a movie and this is no special effects bonanza! Go down the street a few blocks and see the charred corpses scattered across the sidewalk and ask THEM if it was just some stupid game!" he paused and gnashed his teeth threateningly. Touya had never seen the boy so livid, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ALL STARING AT! GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!" another pause. No one moved, "NOW!!!" he roared this time and the crowd quickly gathered it's wits and began to dissapate. 

Except for the authorities of course. Syaoran had turned his back and was wiping the black charcol marks off his sword when the middle aged policeman grabbed him by his shoulder and spun him around, "Excuse me young man, but you and your friends are going to have to take a little trip down to the station." 

"Well, I think I'll just make a quick exit." Spinel murmered to Touya, already spreading his wings anxiously, "Would you like me to inform the others of your untimely demise?" 

Touya buried his face and his hands and answered simply, "Oh shit." 


	12. XI and the walls come tumbling down

**Cessation**  
_Izzy Girl_

**XI** _and the walls came tumbling down_

"Well isn't this lovely." Syaoran muttered, sinking deeper into his uncomfortable waiting chair and glaring at the opposite wall of the police station petuantly. 

"It's your fault." Touya shot back, equally as disdainful, "If you hadn't gone and upsetted all those innocent bystanders..." 

"There never were innocent bystanders- or innocent victims for that matter when Sakura was around." the chinese boy retorted. 

"Yeah, well Sakura isn't around anymore." 

The trio was engulfed by silence. This was most certainly a situation they were not accustomed to. Syaoran and Touya scowled bitterly at each other and a rather subdued Tomoyo stared at her hands folded in her lap. 

"You two should be quiet." she said plainly, "You'll just get us in more trouble." 

The two boys took pause and looked away from each other, Syaoran reddening slightly and Touya sticking his nose up in the air haughtily. The station was both very quiet and very loud. There were few people around in the waiting area but the soft whisperings were almost deafening. The sun was beginning to dip down behind the horizen outside the small, constricted window and the three were beginning to worry. It was taking an unusually long time for the powers that be to analyze their case. 

"What happens if we go to jail?" Syaoran wondered just barely audiable. Touya snapped his gaze back to the chinese boy and sneered slightly. 

"I thought you would have had that one all figured out by now. You are, afterall, one of the Li clan." he said it in such a way Syaoran couldn't decide wheather the older boy really meant it or if he was just messing with him again. 

"Well, yeah..." Syaoran narrowed his eyes and closed his fingers around the cuffs of his shikifuku, wishing he had chosen to wear something a bit more conservative, "Even if they lock us up I could get us out easily... but I'd prefer we did this the legal way. They have all our personal information locked up in the room with them now afterall." 

"Do you think Eriol would help us?" Tomoyo aksed absently. 

Syaoran went ridgid. He looked at Tomoyo and developed a slight twitch in his left eye. He quickly drew his face away to hide a furious blush and growled sharply, "If he knows what's good for him he won't.! I don't want to talk to him. Ever." 

Touya shrugged, "It would be helpful, you know." he snickered, "That's some pride you've got. Let it down once in a while, Li, you're going to have blood pressure issues before you hit twenty at this rate." 

"This has nothing to do with pride!" Syaoran shouted, bringing his head up and glaring at Touya viciously. 

The murmers of the waiting room stopped abruptly and several heads, including Tomoyo's, turned to regard the chinese boy in shock, as if by breaking the silence he had overstepped a sacred rule of the police station. 

He paled and dropped his gaze abashedly, biting his lip and raising his shoulders. "Well..." he whispered, "Maybe it does have something to do with pride. But it's not what you think..." 

Tomoyo sighed and returned her attention to her pale hands and crisscrossing fingers, "Let's just wait. The hard part's over and done with at least, all we can do now is pray..." 

* * *

TOMOEDA POLICE STATION INTERROGATION TAPES SATURDAY JUNE 27TH 

SUBJECT: TOUYA KINOMOTO OFFICER: DECTECTIVE KAZAMA TIME: 4:20PM 

D. KAZAMA: I'd like to ask you a few questions. Is that okay with you? 

KINOMOTO: Uh, yeah sure. 

D. KAZAMA: First of all, what's your full name? 

KINOMOTO: Kinomoyo Touya. 

D. KAZAMA: And your age? 

KINOMOTO: I'm turning twenty-one, sir. 

D. KAZAMA: This is a bit of a personal question that has no bearing on the case, but were you in any way affiliated with the missing person's case two years ago in regards to a certain Ms. Sakura Kinomoto. 

KINOMOTO: Yeah. She, um, she was my sister. 

D. KAZAMA: Okay. I'm sorry I brought it up. These things are necessary, you know. 

KINOMOTO: I understand. 

D. KAZAMA: Moving on... what were you doing at the waterfront this afternoon approximately two hours ago? 

KINOMOTO: Er... what did it look like I was doing? 

D. KAZAMA: Ha ha. Perhaps I should rephrase the question... what exactly was GOING ON at the waterfront this afternoon Mr. Kinomoto? 

KINOMOTO: Well... er... 

* * *

TOMOEDA POLICE STATION INTERROGATION TAPES SATURDAY JUNE 27TH 

SUBJECT: LI XIAO LANG OFFICER: DECTECTIVE TAKUYA TIME: 4:38PM 

D. TAKUYA: I'm going to ask you a few things about what happened this afternoon. Is that okay with you? 

LI: Does it matter? 

D. TAKUYA: ... what do you mean by that? 

LI: You're going to ask me the questions whether it's okay with me or not so let's just get on with this. 

D. TAKUYA: Um... okay, first of all, what's your full name? 

LI: Li Xiao Lang. 

*pause* 

LI: The japanese pronounciation would be 'Syaoran'. 

D. TAKUYA: Are you chinese? 

LI: No. I'm Russian. 

D. TAKUYA: Your sarcasm is ill appreciated Mr. Li. 

LI: Sorry. 

*pause* 

LI: I'm from Hong Kong. 

D. TAKUYA: What are you doing living in Tomoeda? 

LI: Since when is this about immigration? 

D. TAKUYA: I'm just curious. 

LI: Nosy is more like it. 

D. TAKUYA: You were right before, Mr. Li. You're going to answer these questions whether you want to or not. Now tell me, what are you doing in Tomoeda. 

LI: I'm visiting. 

D. TAKUYA: For four years? And it says here that you were living here for two years prior to that. 

LI: I have friends here. What does it matter? 

D. TAKUYA: It matters quite a bit. On one hand, a serious charge like this could result in your deportation. On the other hand, being only sixteen years old you are under the legal age to be living in a foreign country without an adult gaurdian. 

LI: Okay. 

D. TAKUYA: This is a serious matter, Mr. Li. 

LI: I said 'okay'. I wasn't dismissing it. 

D. TAKUYA: I don't like your attitude. Mr. Li. 

LI: Well, that's not my problem is it? 

*pause* 

D. TAKUYA: What were you doing down by the waterfront this afternoon, Mr. Li. 

LI: I don't think that's any of your business. Anyways, you saw the entire thing, didn't you? 

D. TAKUYA: That may be true, but I'd like to know exactly what it was I was seeing. 

* * *

TOMOEDA POLICE STATION INTERROGATION TAPES SATURDAY JUNE 27TH 

SUBJECT: TOMOYO DAIDOUJI OFFICER: DECTECTIVE SAIYUKI TIME: 4:15PM 

D. SAIYUKI: Okay, miss. I hope you don't mind if I ask you a few questions. 

DAIDOUJI: Of course not. I understand how confusing this afternoon's events must have been for your people. 

D. SAIYUKI: Yes. Ahem... now, if I could get your full name? 

DAIDOUJI: Daidouji Tomoyo. 

D. SAIYUKI: Whoa! Are you the daughter of...!? 

DAIDOUJI: Yes. 

D. SAIYUKI: Wow. I'm really sorry about this, Miss. Protocols, you know. 

DAIDUOJI: Of course. 

D. SAIYUKI: Um... your age? 

DAIDOUJI: I am sixteen years old. 

D. SAIYUKI: Yeah... I really am sorry about this. 

DAIDOUJI: It's really okay! I don't expected to be treated any differently simply because my family is wealthy. Anyways, your questions? 

D. SAIYUKI: Um, yes. Okay. I wanted to ask you about what was going on near the harbour this afternoon. 

DAIDOUJI: I guessed as much. Do you want to hear the truth? 

D. SAIYUKI: Of course! 

DAIDOUJI: Are you sure? 

* * *

TOMOEDA POLICE STATION INTERROGATION TAPES SATURDAY JUNE 27TH 

SUBJECT: TOUYA KINOMOTO OFFICER: DECTECTIVE KAZAMA TIME: 4:23PM 

D. KAZAMA: A... movie? 

KINOMOTO: Pretty impressive, huh? We worked on it for a while... it took weeks of practising in the back yard to get it right. 

D. KAZAMA: Hmmm... 

KINOMOTO: Eh... what's the problem officer? 

D. KAZAMA: I'm not exactly sure if I believe you. 

KINOMOTO: What's not to believe? I'm really sorry about the whole thing, sir. We'll be sure to notify the city next time we do something like this but it WAS just special effects. It wasn't real. 

D. KAZAMA: The wounds on your arms look plenty real, son. 

KINOMOTO: What? These? Heh, you know how it is... I did my own stunts, right? And we couldn't expect to get it perfect the first time around. 

D. KAZAMA: You mean... you could duplicate what happened down there? 

KINOMOTO: Well... not easily... 

D. KAZAMA: Because you know, it looked pretty real considering it was just a stupid home video. 

KINOMOTO: Yeah, our director- Ms. Daidouji Tomoyo, she's a stickler for that kind of detail. 

D. KAZAMA: How exactly did you do it then? 

KINOMOTO: Huh... well, we... 

D. KAZAMA: Because that's what I don't understand. How did you do it? Explain the process to me, Mr. Kinomoto. 

KINOMOTO: Erm... it's very hard to explain. 

D. KAZAMA: Then how do you expect me to believe you? 

KINOMOTO: What? You don't really think that all could have been real!? 

D. KAZAMA: I don't know. All I know is what I saw down there. 

KINOMOTO: Oh, you mean Li? He's a real drama queen. Has a hard time getting out of character... 

D. KAZAMA: I mean the dead bodies. They were no more than two hundred feet away from where you were filming. 

KINOMOTO: Err... 

D. KAZAMA: Even if it was just special effects, Mr. Kinomoto, I'm sure you understand the consequences if you were somehow responsible for those people's deaths. 

KINOMOTO: It wouldn't be the first time Li's sick sense of humour got us in trouble. Really, sir, I don't know anything about those people. 

D. KAZAMA: And I'm just going to have to take your word for it, aren't I? 

KINOMOTO: Come on, detective, you can't honestly believe that some rouge fire PIXIE was rampaging around the streets of Tomoeda in the middle of the afternoon maiming random townsfolk! 

D. KAZAMA: ... 

KINOMOTO: And further believe that it was taken down by a tiny, sixteen year old chinese boy with a sword? Honestly, it's like something out of a bad anime! 

D. KAZAMA: Or a bad home video, am I right Mr. Kinomoto? 

KINOMOTO: Um, well... 

* * *

TOMOEDA POLICE STATION INTERROGATION TAPES SATURDAY JUNE 27TH 

SUBJECT: LI XIAO LANG OFFICER: DECTECTIVE TAKUYA TIME: 4:45PM 

D. TAKUYA: ... and would you please explain this? 

*pause* 

LI: That's my sword. 

D. TAKUYA: Your... sword? 

LI: Yes. My sword. 

D. TAKUYA: So let me get this right... you were just minding your own business when you got caught up in this whole mess? And you were carrying around a sword. 

LI: What have I said that's led you to think that? I wasn't minding my own business at all. 

D. TAKUYA: You haven't given me any explaination as to what you were doing there, Mr. Li. 

LI: Why should I? You wouldn't believe me anyways. 

D. TAKUYA: Why do you own a sword, Mr. Li? 

LI: I've always owned a sword. 

D. TAKUYA: Okay. But why? 

LI: That's just how it is in my family. We've always been taught the art of swordsmanship. 

D. TAKUYA: That's strange. Swords are very old fashion, you know. 

LI: Oh well. 

D. TAKUYA: Oh well? 

LI: Mother said that guns lack honor. One requires neither courage nor skill to pick one up and use it. 

D. TAKUYA: So you always carry a sword around with you? 

LI: Not always. Only when I need it. 

D. TAKUYA: And you needed it today? 

LI: I was training up in the woods. 

D. TAKUYA: Why were you training? 

LI: Do I need a reason? 

D. TAKUYA: Yes. 

LI: Okay. Fine. I was trying to clear my head. 

D. TAKUYA: Why? 

LI: You do realize that you've begun to pry into my personal life, Detective? 

D. TAKUYA: You are under suspicion for mandslaughter. Your personal life is not longer at your liberty to keep to yourself. Just answer the question, Mr. Li. 

LI: Whatever. You want to know why I was clearing my head? 

D. TAKUYA: That is what I asked. 

LI: You sure you really want to know? 

D. TAKUYA: I wouldn't have asked if I didn't expect you to answer. 

LI: Well... 

*pause* 

LI: You see, two years ago my girlfriend died. She was a very powerful magician and when she died things began to go haywire. On top of this, her predeccesor suddenly showed up five days ago and I'm afraid that I may have accidently involved myself in an illicit affair with this induvidual. Oh, and did I mention that he happens to be a guy? And is the reincarnation of my great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather? And I really hate him. He's a selfish, infuriating, manipulative bastard with multiple personality disorder and this bad habit of changing his voice mid sentence from sounding like a sixteen year old boy to sounding like a forty year old man. And he's British. Are you satisfied? 

*long pause* 

D. TAKUYA: ... you're just making stuff up now, aren't you? 

*pause* 

LI: ... yes. 

* * *

TOMOEDA POLICE STATION INTERROGATION TAPES SATURDAY JUNE 27TH 

SUBJECT: TOMOYO DAIDOUJI OFFICER: DECTECTIVE SAIYUKI TIME: 4:50PM 

D. SAIYUKI: So let me get this straight... it was magic? 

DIADOUJI: Magic cards to be more percise. 

D. SAIYUKI: And these 'magic cards' were made by an ancient sorcerer named 'Clow Reed'? 

DAIDOUJI: Well, NOW his name is Eriol Hiiragizawa. And Sakura Kinomoto was the new master of the cards. 

D. SAIYUKI: Okay. 

*pause* 

D: SAIYUKI: And if I'm to believe your story- that... that THING was one of these 'magic cards'. 

DAIDOUJI: You're catching on now. 

D. SAIYUKI: Miss. Daidouji, have you injested any mind altering drugs within the past twenty four hours? 

DAIDOUJI: What's that supposed to mean? 

D. SAIYUKI: Or do you think this is just some kind of sick joke? 

DAIDOUJI: I knew this would happen... but you were the one who said you wanted to hear the truth. 

D. SAIYUKI: Yes, Miss. Daidouji. I wanted to hear the truth, not some silly fantasy story about magical cards and fire sprites. 

DAIDOUJI: Believe whatever you want, Detective because I'm only telling you exactly what happened. 

D. SAIYUKI: I'm really sorry, Miss, but it sounds to me like a manslaughter charge. You three have no way of proving you didn't kill those people except that you claim some magical card did it. 

DAIDOUJI: Yes. 

D. SAIYUKI: Why do you expect me to believe that? 

DAIDOUJI: Isn't it too extrodinary not to believe? 

D. SAIYUKI: ... what do you mean? 

DAIDOUJI: Well, you saw what happened didn't you? In person, not just on my video camera, am I right? 

D. SAIYUKI: ... yes... 

DAIDOUJI: Well, if that wasn't real, Detective, tell me what it was. 

D. SAIYUKI: ... 

* * *

CASE SUBJECT: TOUYA KINOMOTO OFFICER: DETECTIVE KAZAMA CONCLUSION: NO REASONABLE EVIDENCE ON WHICH TO HOLD WITNESS. FREE TO GO 

CASE SUBJECT: LI XIAO LANG OFFICER: DETECTIVE TAKUYA CONCLUSION: NO REASONABLE EVIDENCE ON WHICH TO HOLD WITNESS. FREE TO GO SECONDARY CHARGE OF $200 FOR POSSESION OF ILLEGAL BLADE IN PUBLIC. 

CASE SUBJECT: TOMOYO DAIDOUJI OFFICER: DETECTIVE SAIYUKI CONCLUSION: NO REASONABLE EVIDENCE ON WHICH TO HOLD WITNESS. FREE TO GO 

* * *

Syaoran dragged himself up the three flights of stairs until he reached his bedroom and threw himself half onto the bed, closing his eyes and easing his muscels back into the matress without even the thought of changing before sleeping crossing his mind. He knitted his hands together and exhaled deeply, feeling as if with the comforting curtain of sleep all his problems and worries were let out with his heavy breathing and distributed throughout the room to be taken back into his conciousness when he woke. 

He felt momentarily free, as his mind blanked carelessly. He allowed himself to be lulled by the soft breeze rattling the window-latches outside his bedroom. The wind was slowly picking up, but his half-concious mind hardly took notice of this. The darkness of the room closed in about him and he was just so tired. From thinking about Sakura's death, from his training, from the battles, fro the police's questioning, from everything. He felt himself slip into thankful sleep... 

... when he was disturbed by a rapping noise outside his window. It was soft but Syaoran's sharp senses picked up on it instantly. He leapt to his feet grabbed his sword, feeling his way along the wall carefully until he reached the window. He pressed his body against the wall and listened to the soft tappng just to make sure it wasn't the wind afterall. 

"One," he breathed, "Two, three..." he flung himself at the shutters and ripped them open, allowing the dark figure outside to fall through. His sword was tense in his hands, but he relaxed his grip when he watched the figure hit the floor with a dull thud. It tumbled over like something dead or dying, with hardly the energy to support itself. Syaoran lowered his blade catiously and bent down beside the figure as it slowly perched on it's elbows. 

Then something caught the relfection of the moonlight. Outside, thunder cracked and lightning tore open the sky and when the room dimmed again, Syaoran found himself staring into the wide, silver eyes of Eriol Hiiragizawa. 

He stood and twisted his expression into a disdainful one, "What the hell..." lightning tore open the sky again and Syaoran noticed that Eriol's hand was clutched against his side and his usually calm face was frantic and pained. The next flash of light revealed a gash of color- rich crimson running rivers down the mage's fingers and into the carpet. 

Syaoran's breath caught in his throat, "What the... what the hell are you doing!?" he took a step backwards, his voice shaky and weak, "You... you're going to ruin my carpet bleeding all over it like that." he whispered, not able to think of anything better to say. 

Eriol rose waveringly to his feet, swaying from side to side and chuckling. His mouth moved but the sounds it produced were silent to Syaoran's ears. The dark haired boy stumbled forwards and Syaoran caught him instinctively. They stayed like that, stuck in a moment- Syaoran's arms loose but stiff around Eriol's wounded, shuddering body. After a moment, the mage raised a single, bloodstained hand and stroked Syaoran's cheek. He felt the tremble that shook the other boy down to his bones and felt the blood smeared across his face along with Eriol's tender gesture. 

"D-d-didn't I tell you, Xiao Lang..." he struggled to speak in even the softest of tones, "I-I-I've won. I've won, Little Wolf... He's-he's gone..." 

Syaoran was staring wide eyed at the open window where the soft pitter patter of rain had begun to dot the pavements and roofttops beyond. He felt that there was something very, very wrong about all of this. He slowly met Eriol's desperate gaze and noticed that there was something subtly different in the mage's eyes. He couldn't quite name it, but it was almost like something was missing. He shuddered once and tightened his arms around Eriol's shoulders, wondering silently what he was going to do- and what he was going to tell the others. The troubles that had so graciously expelled themselves from his mind only a few minutes earlier maliciously forced themselves back into his unwilling body, twice as heavy. 

He bit his lip and rested his chin in Eriol's hair, frightened to let go of the mage for fear he would bleed to death right there and then in the middle of his bedroom before he even crossed the three feet between them to close the tall window. He swallowed hard and closed his eyes, listening to Eriol's delirious mumblings. 

_"I've won, Xiao Lang. He's gone... I've won..."_


	13. XII collect your thoughts and

**NOTE:** Fanfiction.net and I are friends again. Forget about the mailing list, everyone, and thank you for showing your support! Chapter XIII should be out soon! ^ ^ Enjoy Chapter XII for those who have not read it yet! **Cessation**  
_Izzy Girl_ **XII** _collect your thoughts and if you are not foolish you will unbind the chains from your feet and not your heart_ Syaoran wasn't sure how comfortable he was with this. It was morning, Eriol had been properally bandaged and Syaoran had taken it upon himself to call everyone who was worth calling over. Now they all sat crowded in his dusty living room, Ruby and Spinel gazing at their former master with a sort of awe and Touya concentrated on the task of tightening the ropes around the mage's pale wrists. "You know," Syaoran observed from where he was slumped in his old reading chair, dark eyed and wanting for sleep, "I don't think that's really necessary. Touya raised his dark head and shot Syaoran a glare that clearly said: _'I remember what Meiling said that night and if it suits me I'm about ready to believe it. You were hardly deserving of my sister's love in the first place, now keep your mouth shut before I am forced to do some sort of physical damage unto your personage.'_ Syaoran thinned his lips and shrugged, "It was just a suggestion." From across the room Eriol beamed a maddening grin in the chinese boy's direction and said: "Oh, Xiao Lang, don't worry so much. Kinomoto-san is simply taking such percatiouns for everyone's saftey. Soon he will realize that I am no threat and this entire matter will be cleared up." Syaoran narrowed his eyes and leaned his heavy head into his arms once again. Touya finished securing Eriol firmly to the chair and stepped back to admire his work. There was a long, pointed silence as Kero raised his eyebrow, Syaoran balked, Touya hmm-ed, Tomoyo blinked akwardly, Ruby and Spinel clambered silently for the proper words and Eriol smiled a most genuine smile for one who was tied up and who had nearly died the night before. _'Well, at least he's not muttering incomprehensible sentences anymore.'_ Syaoran sighed inwardly and raised his gaze just enough to observe the dark haired mage. He was pale and haggard, of course, but that smile shone through as if he were doing it just to spite Syaoran. Finally, the chinese boy let out a low growl and snapped, "Would you quit smiling like that, Hiiragizawa. It's creeping me out." Eriol opened his eyes fully and turned the edges of his lips downwards in an almost-frown, "Why so unfair, Xiao Lang? I am simply happy." he paused, "Are you not happy for me?" "So what, you expect us to believe that all of a sudden you're not Clow." Touya leaned forwards, raising a black eyebrow. Eriol simply grinned at him unnervingly. "I do not see why you all find the concept so difficult to grasp. Seeing that the body was in danger, the spirit of the reincarnation fled. How else would one stay alive? You can hardly expect a soul that lingers in a dying body would flourish?" "You just said it yourself." Syaoran hung his head as he spoke, not even having the energy to keep his head upright, "So Clow's gone. You have no soul." Eriol closed his eyes and aquired a contemplative look, "That, only time will tell." "But wouldn't you be able to feel it?" Tomoyo asked breathessly, "Surely you'd know if your soul was missing!" Eriol opened his large, glassy eyes and graced Tomoyo with a lingering glance. He spoke carefully, "I... I do not know what it feels like to not have a soul. Perhaps I will have to meditate on this, Tomoyo-kun. I do feel... different than I did before, but..." he trailed off, which was not something Eriol usually did in everyday conversation. His dialouge was always sharp, percise and to the point. He'd finish his statement boldly and his words always held conviction, his speech flowing together and connecting points like a well written essay. This alone caused Syaoran to raise his eyebrows in surprise, even though his face was hidden. "This is pointless." Touya cut in, falling back on the couch beside an unusually quiet Ruby, "We're not here to debate the metaphorical existence of the soul. We're here because you know things we don't." "Ah." the grin returned, but this time it held a bitter twist, "Of course. But first don't you think we should wait for everyone?" "Hmm?" Syaoran looked up, though not fully and gave Eriol a questioning look. Met by silence, the British boy continued, "Why, where is fair Yukito? And my dearest friend Yue, it has been a while." "Who are..." Syaoran began, though in his mind there was the faintest flash of luminesence- white feathers and a mop of messy, dirty blonde hair. "Not this again." Touya muttered, shooting Ruby a dirty look, "You talked to him beforehand." Ruby raised her forearms defensively, then brushed a long strand of brown hair over her shoulder as if turning her nose up at the young man, "I did no such thing. What had happened to you, Touya Kinomoto. You used to be such a good natured little boy!" Touya grimaced and made a flippant hand gesture, closing his eyes to convey the depth of his growing impatience, "Yeah, yeah. You've all had your fun. Is there any chance we can get to more serious matters before lunch?" "Someone's cranky today." Kero remarked, drawing attention to himself. Syaoran noticed that it was the first time the sun gaurdian had spoken throughout the entire meeting, which was strange since Kero was almost impossible to shut up with his endless speculations and pointless injections. For him to be quiet meant that something was most definitely wrong. "I think I have a right." Touya muttered, "This past week hasn't exactly been stress free. And spending my entire evening in the Police Station didn't help much either." Tomoyo looked up and nodded, "Things aren't going to be easy with the card issue out in the public now. We have to be careful." "Master Clow," Spinel began slowly, correcting himself a split second too late, "Ah, I mean Mr. Hiiragizawa... Miss. Daidouji had the idea that we may be able to communicate with the cards and explain to them..." Eriol cut Spinel off. He spoke in English, that thick and clumsy language of his homeland, and Spinel drew back slightly. Similar reactions were gathered from Ruby and Kero, but the other three occupants of the room were left in the dark. Syaoran himself spoke only the barest traces of English and was horrible at understanding it. It bothered him when people spoke a language he was unable to understand in tones that sounded important. When he was finished speaking, Eriol heaved a deep sighed and twitched one of his bound arms as if resisting the compulsion to push his dropping glasses further up the bridge of his nose. He blinked longly and met Touya's befuddled gaze. "Ask away, Kinomoto-san." Touya hesitated and Syaoran stole the opportunity to begin, "Hiiragizawa, exactly what the hell is going on here." Everyone looked at the chinese boy as if he had broken some great rule by asking such a blunt question. He felt that it was against proper tradition, but he was very tired and sick of playing mind games. Eriol had told them he would answer whatever questions they had now that Clow was no longer residing in his body. Syaoran wasn't eager to trust him, but what better way to test his words than to come right out and ask what everyone really wanted to know. Eriol immedietly understood the intent and repainted a wry smile back onto his grimacing face, "Straight to the point, eh Xiao Lang? Very well, but it is a long story." "I don't care." "I meant that I do not enjoy telling it, and since I am no longer Clow, in a manner of speaking, there may be gaps I am unable to fill." "Tell what you can. We'll figure it out later." "Very well then." Eriol took a deep breath and shifted uncomfortably beneath the rope, flattening his back against the kitched chair, "From what memories of Clow I have maintained, it all began with our dear friend here Keroberos." "What!?" a loud shriek emenated from where Kero had settled himself atop Syaoran's seat. The gaurdian bounced indignantly, raising himself to his full height (which wasn't very high, considering his current form), "What are you talking about!?" "Don't you remember?" Eriol's fridgid gaze was like a knife as it set on the tiny sun gaurdian and Syaoran swore that Kero shivered, "If I remember, surely you would?" when Kero didn't answer, Eriol took that as incentive to explain, "You see, Keroberos was concerned that the next gaurdian of the cards would be too modern and too occupied with frivilous things to really be a good choice." Kero gasped, interrupted the mage's paragraph, as if he had just remembered something. He muttered something incomprehensible, but something that sounded quite a bit like: 'Of course. How could I have been so dense!' Eriol continued, "Clow, of course, was not exactly pleased with this assault on his competence, but nevertheless to assure his gaurdian he placed, in addition to all the tests you witnessed, a _true_ 'Final Judgement'." "But, Sakura already passed the 'Final Judgement', didn't she?" Tomoyo's voice quivered as she remembered the night Nakuru had revealed herself to be Ruby Moon, second gaudian of the Clow Cards. Eriol nodded, "Yes, Miss. Daidouji, that she did. This 'other test' Clow crafted was something unconcious. It wasn't the sort of test that could be passed with someone knowing about it." "But that doesn't make much sense." Touya furrowed his brow, "That means Sakura could have failed it by accident." "Oh, but it wouldn't be an accident. It was a simple test of morals and priority." "Are you insinuating that Sakura lacked either?" Touya hissed, ever defensive of his sister's pride. "No." Eriol shook his head lightly, "Not at all. I am simply trying to explain that this test may have been imperfect. I do not think that Clow ever took into consideration that Sakura might pass away. It is quite possible that with her sudden dissapearence, the cards were unprepared and panicked. Her death may have triggered some hidden mechanism in them and they began to behave as if Sakura failed that last test." "It would... explain many things." Tomoyo said cryptically. "What do you mean, Tomoyo?" Syaoran wondered. "Well." the girl shifted her folded hands, searching for proper words, "The cards told me that Sakura betrayed them." she raised her dark eyes and looked at Eriol, "If Sakura had failed this test, would the cards feel betrayed?" "Yes, of course." Eriol replied, "After all, it was a test of character. If the cards believe she failed in her duty, they would of course begin to fester a very deep resentment towards her." "Okay, okay, so it's all coming together." Touya rubbed at his temple absently and in a very adult-like manner, "So now that we know what their problem is... how do we fix it?" Eriol paused and a great, expectant hush fell over the room. The british boy chuckled and shrugged his bound shoulders, "Now that, I do not know." "But weren't you the one who created it?" Touya protested, "Shouldn't you be able to counter act it somehow?" "Ah, but if only it was me!" Eriol frowned apologetically, "Remember, I'm not Clow anymore." 

* * *

The boy walked like a living, waking ghost. Those who saw him make his way, wraith-like, through the streets swore that they thought he was a shadow, sheltered by the faint outline of a gaurdian angel illuminated in the dull gray air. What was truly odd about this was that in a strange way, those who made such claims were closer to the truth than they realized. Yukito felt himself slipping, like the feeling of silk running through soft-calloused fingers- slow, but with little resistence. Yue followed behind him, barely noticed but very real, one hand placed on his other half's shoulder and wings folded about them like a sheild. It had been days since they'd left Tomoeda and Yukito hardly knew where they were anymore. It had been a confusing mess of travel between trains, carriages and cabs on rainy afternoons. All he knew is that wherever they were it was very gray and even when it was a sunny afternoon, the entire place felt like rain and dripping. Finally, he collapsed. He folded himself into a conviniently placed park bench and slumped over, breathlessly. Yue glided gracefully and almost invisiably beside him and crossed his long arms. "Where are we going?" Yukito asked after a brief pause. Yue stared past Yukito with an unfocused gaze, "To find someone who can help." "Hmm." Yue said no more and Yukito turned his head weakly to study the gaurdian's blank features. He coughed purposefully, "And who would that be?" Yue blinked and looked at Yukito in an expression of almost surprise, "Oh. We're going to see Miss. Mizuki of course." Yue smiled subtly and nodded, hanging his head again, "Ah. Of course." he chuckled lightly, "You know, it was much more useful when we were always thinking the same thing. I think you might forget that." "Maybe." Yue stood and wrapped long fingers around Yukito's arm, helping him up, "We'd better go if we want to meet her before she heads off to work." A few more minutes of strenious walking found them at the foot of a tall, gray-brick townhouse finished with black-painted ivy grating. There were dying suggestions of ivy winding through the grating and suddenly it hit Yukito. Something about the old, cliched mental image of that townhouse set something off in his head. "Oh. We're in England." Yue detatched himself from Yukito's arm and approached the tiny, red door of the house and lifted the knocker slowly, letting it fall with a dull, muffled thud. The two waited for a long moment until they were certain there would be no answer. "She must not be home." Yukito observed with a sigh. "No. She's gone." Yukito raised an eyebrow, "How do you know that?" "Her aura. I don't feel it anywhere. There would have at least been traces of it around this building. She's been gone for some time." Yukito ruffled his brow and sunk deeper into his jacket, "That's strange. Where would she have gone." "I have no idea. I didn't know her very well. After all, you were the one who spent more time with her." "That's true." Yukito raised his eyes and watched the skies cloud over. Kaho always talked about returning to England. Where else would she go besides... "Of course!" he breathed in sharply, and flashed Yue a pale grin, "I think I might know where she's gone." 

* * *

It was rather akward for Syaoran to watch the edges of Eriol's long robes drag along the hardwood floor of his kitchen as the British boy prepared tea for himself while humming cheerfully. _'He should stay with you in the manor, Li. It only makes sense. He is you responsibility, after all.'_ Tonight Eriol's robes were a dark crimson, very nearly black, with thin rivets of silver lining at the wrists and hems. The heavy stentch of British tea made him curl back his nostrils in disgust, so he sipped his cha quietly and tried to avoid conversation. _'It's not like he's going to try anything, Li. And he's not even at full power anymore. You're forgetting that Eriol was never really a threat in the first place, you're just blowing things out of proportion because you never liked him. Grow up already.'_ Eriol sat down and regarded Syaoran curiously, sipping his tea with a somber expression on his face. "You seem to be in a rather melanchony mood this evening, Xiao Lang." Syaoran mumbled something incomprehensible in response. It was still raining outside and if he concentrated hard enough, he could almost imagine that the violent strokes of the raindrops hitting the window sill were drowning out Eriol's words completely. "Hmm. Interesting, I never did figure you as the sort who went for one night stands." Syaoran's eyes widened and he sputtered wordlessly, sending half-swallowed cha out across the table. He slammed his hands on the table and said hoarsely, "That never happened! Do you understand me?" he shot Eriol the most ferocious glare he could manage under the circumstances. Eriol shrugged lightly, "Of course." "And don't you dare even think about trying anything else or I swear to whatever the hell God you pray to that you'll be dead before you can even breath another breath." "Would it make you feel better if I made a pledge?" There was a bemused grin working it's way up Eriol's lips, but his eyes also had a wearied look swimming beneath the surface. Syaoran raised an eyebrow, "A pledge?" Eriol closed his eyes and placed one hand over his heart in a mockery of an American criminal swearing on the Holy Bible, "I swear that I shall not behave towards you in a manner that is unbecoming. I shall not even refer to you in terms any more personal that 'Li-kun' or, if you'd like 'Li-san'." Eriol opened one eye and shot Syaoran a half wink, "Unless, of course, you'd like me to." Syaoran made a disgusted expression and leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest, "Whatever. I don't care what you do." "Then it's a deal, Li-kun." there was no change in tone as Eriol stated the title, but Syaoran could have swore that he heard one. Eriol's voice lowered a half-note and he sounded bitter. The mage opened his eyes and continued to work on his brimming mug of tea, carelessly tapping his fingers against the kitchen table, "Now that I've got your attention, there are matters we must discuss." Syaoran chewed his lower lip and shook his head slowly, "I have nothing to discuss with you." "Nonsense, Li-kun." Eriol sounded cross and he looked at Syaoran sharply, "This is important. Do you really think that everything that should have been said was said this morning?" "What do you mean?" "I mean simply that there are things that I might be more inclined to speak of now that I'm not bound and gagged in such an ungraceful position. More so, there are things that I wish to inform you of that may be of at least minimal interest." he paused and when Syaoran made no reply except to stare at him somewhat blankly, Eriol cleared his throat and asked, "By the way, Li-kun, do you by any chance remember what happened a few years back when Sakura was still alive... a certain situation with the 'Void' card." Syaoran narrowed his eyes and peered at the mage as if he were tyring to see through him, "Yeah. Of course I remember. What does that..." He was cut off by a particularily loud crack of lightning, followed by the tell tale tingling in his bones that was characteristic of magic-related unsettlements. He perked his head and noticed Eriol do the same thing. His joints were still aching from the previous day's battle and he very nearly groaned, resisting an overwhelming urge to say something along the lines of: _'Again? Ah, screw it. Hiiragizawa, what was that you were trying to say?'_ Instead he lept to his feet and quicky made his way to the stairwell where his sword was leaning casually against one wall beside the coat rack. He swept on his raincoat and grumbled under his breath in chinese as he threw the door open, followed closely by Eriol. The mage chuckled. "Now, now Li-kun. That was rather rude." 

* * *

"Shit." Touya cast in Syaoran's direction one of those indesricbable looks of his, made ridiculous by the sight of his black hair plastered against his forehead. His arms were crossed and water dripped from every angle of his features. He was not wearing anything akin to a rain jacket and had, in his haste, completely forgotten to grab his umbrella on the way out the door. In otherwords, Touya Kinomoto had all the brevity and seriousness of a drowned rat about him. "Exactly my sentiments, Li." he muttered, turning away swiftly and eyeing the destruction before him, "What exactly went on here anyways?" "The 'Wave' card." Eriol answered matter-of-factly. "The what?" Touya raised his eyebrows. "The 'Wave' card. It has the ability to transform anything it touches into a wave." Touya shook his head slowly, "I really don't like the sound of that..." "I really don't like what I remember of it." Syaoran scoffed, "Tomoyo?" Tomoyo looked up briefly and shrugged, immedietly returning her attention to her notebook where she was writing something ferociously under the cover of an umbrella held by Ruby Moon. Whatever she was writing was a mystery, but she was unusually absorbed in it so the others assumed it must have been something of importence. Meanwhile, Touya narrowed his eyes in Eriol's general direction, "Why would you ever make something stupidly ridiculous like that?" he asked harshly, "I mean, come on! I get most of the cards, okay, but of what POSSIBLE use could turning everything and anything into a wave BE?" Eriol shrugged, "I don't know. Clow's memories are fading steadily but I still have enough of him in me to know the answer to that question." "And what would that be?" Syaoran muttered the half-question from beneath the brim of his rain-jacket's wide, yellow hood. Eriol pulled his lips back from his teeth in a smile of mock sweetness as he met Syaoran's gaze, "For fun." Touya and Syaoran groaned in unison and Eriol returned his placid stare to the gouge in the pavement. He wore no hat nor jacket and was not carrying an umbrella- it seemed as if the rain was reflecting off him, perhaps the stray drop hitting his glasses every half-beat, but for the most part he remained unfazed. It was rather unsettling to watch someone stand in the middle of a raging rainstorm and emerge perfectly dry. Syaoran obserbed this and shuddered. "Hiiragizawa." he snapped sharply, "If we're to believe you're not Clow anymore, then why the hell is your damn magical aura still flaring like crazy?" Eriol shrugged non-consequentially, "Who knows. Correct me if I'm wrong, Li-kun, but it's weaker than before, is it not?" Syaoran nodded quickly and Eriol made a short sighing sound, "Ah, then my hypothesis was correct... it will fade with time. Don't worry, before you know it I'll be just as ordinary and useless as Mr. Kinomoto here." Touya stiffened. If he had been a cat, his back might have arched, but instead he raised his dark eyebrows and grumbled defensively, "I'm not completely useless. I can sense auras too, you know. Almost better than clan boy here, in fact." "I doubt that." Syaoran breathed a reply, not really caring. He was absorbed in the job of wringing the water from his soaked jacket sleeves, wondering how the hell he was ever going to fight wearing the thing. It was all stiffened rubber and about three sizes too small- something he'd brought with him when he first moved to Tomoeda. He'd never really thought to buy himself a new one. "Wanna bet?" Syaoran's retort was cut off before he even had a chance to voice it. A cry from above alerted the small group to Keroberos and Spinel Sun who had opted to scout ahead in the storm. Kero was shouting something, but as he did, the wind picked up and carried his words away. Syaoran squinted stupidly, somehow hoping that by doing so it would help his ears pick up the faint call. As he did so, another sound, dim in the distance, entered his range of hearing. The hum grew louder and momentarily he thought that perhaps it was in his head, but it wasn't long before he noticed Touya shifting his gaze and Eriol craning his neck back. Even the absorbed Tomoyo and umbrealla-holding Ruby looked up after a few moments. Suddenly, Eriol jolted, his eyes wide and alert. "Move!" he shouted, half jumping half gliding about ten feet backwards. Ruby was quick to move, used to following Eriol's snappish orders. She scooped up a surprised Tomoyo and backed away in the other direction, while Touya and Syaoran looked at each other in shock. "Li! Kinomoto!" Eriol shouted again, waving his arms frantically, "Move! Now!" It was only a few moments later that the humming abruptly became an overbearing roar. Syaoran cursed loudly and Touya managed to let out a startle shout before the two of them were swept away by a ridgid wave running down the center of the road. Kero swooped down and Touya managed to half swim himself to the surface and gripped the gaurdian's paw before the current could completely drag him away. Syaoran, however, had lost grip of his sword and was attempting to dive deeper into the moving mass of rainwater towards where it was rapidly sinking towards the pavement. He could almost feel his fingers closing around the hilt of the blade when suddenly, the water around him was gone. There was a gust of wind about him and then he hit the ground hard, losing his breath. He was on his feet fast, though, and he lept for his sword. As he reached it, it flew out of his hands and rose into the air, as if of it's own will. Syaoran jumped back in shock, almost bumbing into the supremely stressed Eriol who seemed to almost have a clue about what was happening. Eriol swore. Quite profusely in fact, as the sword twisted in upon itself and finally expanded, thursting outwards as a thousand swords layered upon each other, each blade catching the streetlights glare menacingly. Eriol shot into the air and the wave rushed forwards in Syaoran's directions. The chinese boy moved fast and sprung into the mass of blades, securing his feet on one as if it were a foothold. He wrapped his arms, safe in their raincoat sleeves, around anoher blade, careful to wind his body around and into the spaces between the swords. He caught his breath and considered: _'Okay, so I'm up here and not dead. What now?'_ The wave bucked like a angry bull, as if it were something quite sentient, and Syaoran thought he could hear Eriol's far off voice: _"Seal the card Xioa Lang! Seal it quickly before you're killed!"_ Syaoran sucked in thin air deeply and, not one hundred percent certain of what he was doing, began climbing the the wave. It was slow and painful progress. The arms of his rain jacket as well his pant legs were soon torn and when he misstepped, his hands became hopelessly bloody. _"Xiao Lang! You great idiot! Stop trying to be a hero and SEAL THE CARD!"_ He bit down hard on his lip and ignored the slippery stining in his hands where the blades had dug into his skin. He nearly fell off a few times, but he began to imagine that he was nearly to the top and if he could just mount the rise of the wave, he would be able to find his real sword and break the spell. _"What in hell are you doing Xiao Lang!? Do you really think you can hold on much longer!? Grab a hilt and seal the bloody card!"_ _'Right'_ he thought, 'If I can find my sword, I can seal it...' He began seeing shallow patterns trace their way in his darkened vision and he felt faint. Above him the din was dying and he could hear voices around him. He was pretty sure the rain had stopped, but it was hard to tell. He tettered slightly, and shot out a hand to steady himself, meeting only sharpened metal. A new cut was dug, a deeper and wider one. He yelped and lost his grip again, tumbling backwards. His breath caught in his throat and he closed his eyes, preparing himself for his impact against the pavement when something caught his arm. He opened his eyes to a strange sense of deja vu and saw Eriol hovering above him, one strong hand clasped around his arm and his staff held high against the attacking card, much like what had happened less than a week before. Eriol's voice was strong and clear and the card shrunk back as he spoke, "By the power of the Kinomoto star, I command that you return to your power confined!" Everything froze for a split-second that seemed much longer and Syaoran, in his foggy state of mind, assumed that the card would rebel and impale him and Hiiragizawa both as they hovered there helplessly and rather desperately. He squeezed his eyes shut again and heard nothing. He didn't open them until Eriol set his feet softly on the ground and gripped his shoulders violently. Syaoran's eyes snapped open in shock as the mage spun him around, almost furious, and pulled him closer, speaking in a vicious whisper. "I knew it from the moment I saw you throw yourself against that barrier during the Mistress's trial at Penguin Park all those years ago! You are nothing but an empty-headed fool, Li Xiao Lang, with not a sense or thought in that thick head of yours!" he held the chinese boy there for a moment, his gray eyes clouded over, but still shining brilliantly. His mouth was twisted down and there was something decidedly different in his manner- the anger, the irrationality, the hint of concern in the angle of his eyebrows. Syaoran suddenly felt a flash of something deeper, something almost tender much like what he had felt when Eriol had first kissed him. He unconciously savoured it for a moment, then jerked away, narrowing his eyes. "Never do that again." he growled. Eriol raised an eyebrow, "What?" "Interfere." "Don't you mean, _'save your life'?' _" Eriol replied with a chuckle. "No, I meant interfere." Syaoran spun around, crossing his arms, "And you broke your word." with those words, he ambled off to fetch his sword. Tomoyo was gripping the card tightly in on white-knuckled hand, her other hand holding her note book. Syaoran bent to pick up his sword and as he rose, he cast Tomoyo a glance. "What were you writing?" he wondered, taking the card from her and noting that it was trembling slightly. It took her a few seconds to realize that she had been spoken to. She seemed to be snapping out of a daze. She stared at Syaoran before finally answering, "Nothing important." 

* * *

"You... you're..." Meiling had been seeking solitude and privacy within the decaying walls of the old Shinto temple up in the under developed foothills on the outskirts of Tomoeda. She had spent her time training mostly, and brooding. She had honestly never spent so much time ruminating on a single topic in her entire life, but this was a tricky subject and it would require much thought before she could properally decided on what ought to be done. Everytime her strong fists hit the baseboard, a new crack would appear in the rotted wood. She followed those lines like viens in a human's body and dark thoughts began to form in her mind. Eventually, she pictured those hair-thin veins rupturing every time she struck them and her rage slowly subsided. Though she could no longer see color, the red of blood still clouded her vision. She had sighed and threw herself on the floor, all uneven rocks and muddy dirt. She didin't care, though, for retribution had passed her by and turned the other way. She could bear the discomfort, it was the rage she was having a harm time dealing with. The shoddy roof leaked all around her and the pelting rain muffled the footsteps as they tapped their way up the long stairs. She uncovered her eyes slowly and stared long and hard at the tall man who's shoulders filled the door frame. There was something faintly familiar about him- the way he stood and wore such a contained expression. The way his eyes were arched and his glasses hung off his nose and his arms folded around his body in a way that was just 'so'. There was something classic and defining about this gentleman, something that she should have noticed right away, her honor and pride remaining. Something engrained deeply into her soul and blood and identity that was represented by this man. She breathed in sharply and scrambled out of her probe position, desperate to get to her feet and appear somewhat more presentable. She folded her hands like a young girl might and when she spoke, it was soft and wavering, "You... you're... I know..." her chapped lips could manage one final sylabill. A name with signifigance and prestiege and true meaning suddenly wearing the body of a man. The visagae of one worthy. She bowed her head and whispered in a lofty tone: "Clow..." 

* * *

**NOTE:** I don't know much about the 'Wave' card, having not been privy to that episode, but I always thought it was kind of a neat idea. My potrayal of it in this chapter is probably a million years off, but hey, what the heck. I'm getting sick of the elemental cards and I' sure you all are as well. 


	14. XIII and the plot thickens

**THE SHADOW CARD:** Is strangley corporal in this chapter. La la la. I had a discussion with Justin and Caily about just how much real matter the Shadow Card can affect. We came up with this answer: Some... but not much. Why can it touch Eriol to a greater extent than everyone else? Well... Spinel explains. Sort of. **Cessation**  
_Izzy Girl_ **XIII** _and the plot thickens_ "I am REALLY getting sick of this wheather." Ruby threw her banana at the window and Spinel spared her an irritated glance over the top of his book. "That was painfully immature." he commented, then continued reading. Eriol watched the two quietly from where he was working dilligently, pouring over Clow's old books and volumes uselessly drawing connections and conclusions over and over again. It was a strange sensation, since it seemed as if he knew less and less on the subject every day. Of course, he was losing Clow's memories, but he always thought the knowledge was a learned attribute. He was now worried that by the time he was finished with the whole business he'd have to learn to breathe and walk all over again. Nevertheless, he was still aware enough that he could remember exactly what Clow had prophesized that night he left Kaho. He still knew what was going on at least, which gave him some measure of comfort despite the fact he couldn't exactly share this knowledge with his new-found colleages. Or did he? It was almost as if it came in flashes and it came from mental connections. He knew what was happening, but to explain it, he would need visual aids... and... what exactly was it he had been saying to Li-kun the other night? He shook it off. It didn't really matter whether he remembered or not anyways. Now that he was no longer Clow and was simply Eriol Hiiraizawa, he had ceased fitting into the equation. The best he could do was help Li-kun, Kinomoto-san and the others. It was very nice, he reflected, to also be working with Ruby and Spinel again. He felt as if they were his almost exclusively, after all, he had been the incarnation of Clow who had created him. They still had a hard time understanding the seperation of their former master and his vessel, but they pretended that they did anyways. "I would not worry too much about the wheather, Ruby." Eriol said lazily, reaching over his sea of papers to grasp his tea cup delicately. He sipped thoughtfully, "If Li-kun, Kinomoto-san and Keroberos do their job correctly, we will not have to worry about it much longer." As if on cue, the front entrance of Li manor burst open and in stumbled a very, very wet Touya with a very, very wet Kero seated atop his head. Tomoyo came next, with her video camera, notebook and umbrella, followed by Syaoran who was pale and dragging his sword out behind him like it weighed at least three times his weight. In his left hand he carried a card. Ruby jumped up and bounded from her seat. Syaoran sidestepped as she flew to glomp him and closed the door before he let the rain in. "You're my hero, Syao-chan!" she gushed, "So, when does the rain stop!?" Syaoran gave her a look of long suffering, "What are you talking about?" Ruby raised an eyebrow, "You DID capture the Storm card, did you not?" From the direction of the kitchen Kero laughed very loudly. He was soon joined by Touya, who was towelling down his dark hair with a dishcloth. Ruby looked as if she had just had a very ruel joke played on her. Syaoran crossed the kitchen heavily and placed the card face up on the table. Both Spinel and Eriol hunched over and peered through glasses to study it. "The Voice." Spinel observed. "As I recall, not exactly what you had set out to capture." Syaoran gave a non-commital shrug and mumbled something incomprehensible before ambling upstairs, presumably to change. It had been a little over two weeks since the incident with the wave card and Syaoran was indeed keeping true to his intent to ignore Eriol as much was humanly possible. The british boy just shrugged it off as usual, and turned his attention to the magically dry Tomoyo who had taken a seat beside him and was scribbling furiously in her now half-full notebook. Since her experience with the Watery card Tomoyo had taken to not only recording the behaviour of the cards on video, but documenting it as written word as well. She had first hidden it from the others, a bit ashamed of herself since she was doing it _'for Sakura'._ "That sounds like quite the battle." Eriol commented as he read over Tomoyo's shoulder. "Tell me about it." Touya groaned, sliding into yet another extra seat around Syaoran's large, dining room table, "It probably wouldn't have been so bad if it weren't for the wheather, but as it was, when we got seperated it was impossible to see one another. The Voice card seemed to think it was funny to _steal_ our voices instead of simply imitate them, so on top of us hearing everyone else's voice all over the place, we couldn't call out to each other either." "Hmm." Spinel sounded scientifically interested. He titled his head up at Touya, "How did you managed to capture it." Touya let a small, embarassed smile creep up his face, "Well, Kero and I were pretty much useless, but Tomoyo and Li both figured out ways around it." "Really?" "Yeah." Touya made a handgesture in Tomoyo's direction as if he expected her to finish, but she just continued writing, obviously completely absorbed in her work. He sighed and continued explaining anyways, "Well, I guess you could say Tomoyo used an alternative voice." "You mean she used her video camera?" Eriol wondered, looking up from over Tomoyo's shoulder. "She used an old recordings of Li during one of those battles in Penguin park." he mumbled and trailed off slightly, "Actually, it was a bit eerie, come to think of it, following his voice through a rainstorm while he was shouting Sakura's name, but..." his voice leapt back to conversational tone, "The brat himself didn't use sound to overcome the storm, but rather decided to use the rain to his advantage. He conducted his lightning charms through the puddles and sent these huge, distress flashes up into the air." "Which was dangerous and foolish of him." Tomoyo said dissaprovingly. "Which wasn't what you said when he caught the card in one of his electricity nets." "Well, no, but..." "And that's how this misbegotten band of teenagers and such managed to defeat perhaps the leats dangerous card we've faced so far, with minimal casualies." Touya said with finality, spreading his arms and sighing. Ruby pouted and tipped her head, "Well, that's all well and fine, but what exactly were you planning to do about our _real_ problem?" "You mean the Storm?" Touya asked apprehensively. When Ruby nodded, he shrugged and hung his head, "Yes, well..." "We don't know." Kero finished, shakinvg the last droplets of rain off his wings, "We can't find where the storms are originating from and the card doesn't seem too eager to come to us..." "If only we KNEW why they were acting this way in the first place," Tomoyo repeated uselessly, tapping her pen against her notebook. The head of the pen made a dull thudding noise against the paper and Tomoyo wore an expression that said she was quite aware how pointless her words were. And Eriol grimaced. Tomoyo Daidouji did not speak useless words. That she did now was not a good sign. "There's not much else we can do today." Touya leaned his head back and rubbed the back of his neck tiredly, "It's not even noon and already I'm exhausted. I've got to get home anyways, before Dad worries." "Speaking of which..." Kero crossed his paws and raised a small eyebrow, "Where is your father?" Touya blinked and turned his gaze to look at the gaurdian on his shoulder. Kero stared right back, "He's been gone for days, you oaf. Don't tell me you didn't notice?" Touya shook his head and bit his lip. Everyone was silent for a moment. Eriol's breath caught in his throat as a thought came to him. But no- it couldn't be- he opened his mouth to say something, but the idea was gone before he could get it past his lips. Touya, Kero and Tomoyo suited up once again and forged out into the storm after exchanging appropiate pleasantries and Syaoran emerged from upstairs. Almost as if he had been waiting for them to leave. "You're wet." Eriol observed calmly, picking up his book again. Syaoran shrugged and went to the kitchen. Spinel rolled his eyes and Ruby snorted daintily, "I'm getting sick of his attitude." "Li-kun is as Li-kun is. There's no changing him." Ruby gave him a look. Eriol raised his eyes and met her perculiar gaze, "What?" he wondered. She shrugged, and his a slight grin, "Nothing. You're just so... complacent. Reminds me of the old days." Eriol furrowed his brow but Ruby wasn't looking at him anymore, "I'm afraid that I am at a loss, Ruby. What are you..." "She means you're almost like your old self. Before _her_." Spinel said this as he said everything: with authority and wisdom. But there was something else there. Something that told Eriol not to reply, which was unfortunate because he had no idea what his gaurdians were aluding to and was hard pressed to properly explain that his memory was like swiss cheese. The kettle began to whistle and a few moments later Syaoran was sitting at the table, quietly sipping a cup of steaming chinese tea. He was still dripping wet. "You're going to catch a cold." Ruby teased, and Syaoran rolled his eyes. "Don't say foolish things." Spinel muttered, "Everyone knows you don't catch colds from the cold." "You're really, _really_ no fun." Ruby sighed and rested her chin in her palms. There was silence. Eriol imagined that they could have been a painting, the four of them. Himself and Spinel reading dilligently, Ruby pouting fakely and Syaoran drinking his tea and staring off into space gloomily. What happened next, happened very quickly. Ruby gasped, Spinel looked up, Syaoran dropped his tea all over the front of his shirt and didn't seem to care about how it was scalding his skin, and Eriol lept to his feet. "Something." Syaoran gasped, "There's something in the house." he threw his teacup, which shattered against the far wall, and began running for his bedroom to fetch his sword. Eriol wasted no time in summoning his staff. The incantments came a bit slower, and his staff no longer has the weight of power it once held but it would do. "How did a card get into the house?" Spinel asked, already transformed and loping in long strides towards the foryer. He glanced back at Eriol, "Didn't you have this place warded?" Eriol bit his lip and followed the gaurdian. His steps were slower, warier, "Yes, but..." he couldn't find the words. His power was fading. What was he supposed to say? Fortunately, Syaoran was only happy to fill in the blanks as he appeared at the top of the stairs in a defensive kata, "Hiiragizawa's getting rusty. Haven't you noticed?" Eriol shot him a sharp look, but the chinese boy either didn't notice, or had grown a surprisingly strong immunity towards such arcid looks. "Well, even so it would have to be a pretty powerful card to break through Eriol's sheilds." Ruby said, sticking her nose up, "Even at a fraction of his strength, Eriol still controls the power of Clow Reed." Eriol shook his head slightly, but didn't have the heart to contradict her. "Powerful?" Syaoran raised his eyebrows, "The only cards powerful enough to stand apart from the others are the Elementals. If one of those had broken in, we'd be torn apart by now." "Not necessarily." Spinel said quietly. Syaoran spun his head to glare at the Gaurdian. "Are you suggesting that the cards have aquired a sense of stealth in the past few weeks?" "No. I'm suggesting that perhaps the card we're dealing with did not in fact break _through_ Eriol's sheilds, but rather... melted into it." He made a gesture with his head, craning his neck towards Syaoran. The chinese boy stopped breathing as he caught on and slowly turned around just in time to see the tall shadow looming behind him before it crashed down around him. He yelped, then was swallowed. "Li-kun!" Eriol shouted, and moved towards the shadow, but it moved too quickly. It flowed down the stairs, and beneath the mage's feet before anyone could so much as blink. Syaoran was regurgitated ungracefully at the foot of the curved banister, gasping and holding on to the hilt of his sword for dear life. Ruby and Eriol helped him to his feet. "It's like being under water." he panted, "But... thicker. Like you're being crushed!" "How do we fight it?" Ruby dropped Syaoran's arm and spread her wings, hovering just above the ground in an attempt to avoid the Shadow Card's grasp. She shivered, "It's not real. It's just a shadow." "It felt pretty real when I was inside of it." Syaoran growled, pulling away from Eriol's helping hands viciously, and re-assuming his battle stance. "Li! It's coming for you again!" Ruby shrieked. Eriol jumped and joined his Gaurdians in the air, but Syaoran raised his sword to slice at the dark figure. The sword didn't even hit. The Shadow simply rushed through Syaoran, knocking him to the ground. It didn't swallow him this time, however. It slithered towards Eriol and filled the shadow beneath the floating mage. And then it did nothing. Everyone froze where they were and watched the car wearily. After a few minutes had passed, Syaoran moved catiously, loosning his grip on his sword and relaxing slightly. "It wants you Hiiragizawa." he said. Eriol nodded and swallowed hard, "Yes. It would seem so." "Why don't you just capture it right now, Li?" Ruby wondered, "It's not doing anything." Syaoran shot her an incredelous look, but it was Spinel who answered, "The card hasn't been weakened. It will not be imprisoned willingly." Ruby blinked, "I knew that." she whispered. "Well, what do we do now?" Syaoran asked impatiently, "I don't think it's going to move until Hiiragizawa does." "The I suppose I shall have to move." Eriol supplied. Ruby looked at him in shock, but he simply shrugged, "Ruby Moon, if I indeed am infused with the power of Clow, the card should bend to my will. Correct?" Ruby sighed, nodded and turned her head. Eriol took a deep breath and tried to convince himself that what he had said was true. Even though he knew it wasn't. Even though he had experienced first hand how little Clow's prescence meant to the more rebellious cards. He swung his staff and lowered himself to the floor. The moment his feet touched hardwood, the Shadow twitched. Syaoran took a step back, his eyes widening in shock. The Shadow rose from the floor, pulsing and shaping itself into a human form. Eriol's fingers tightened around the length of his staff slightly, but other than that he showed no sign of alarm when he found himself standing face to face with a dark, featureless copy of himself. "This is an interesting turn of events." he murmered and rose his staff a split second before the shadow-Eriol swung, resulting in a perfect parry. He jumped back a few steps and spun his moon staff between his fingers, shortening the length a few feet in order to make it a more weildly weapon. The shadow followed suit and lunged for Eriol. Eriol blocked again, and spun forwards with the butt of his weapon only to be met with an equally perfect shadow-block. Back and forth, back and forth, neither gaining the upper hand unless one counted the beads of sweat forming on Eriol's brow, and the shortness of his breath as signs of fatigue. "This is ridiculous!" Spinel exclaimed, still sounding somewhat calm considering the situation, "You're shadow boxing, Eriol. You're not going to get anywheres fighting yourself!" "Especially when your opponent never tires!" Ruby added with worry. Eriol parried, jumped and replied, "I agree. Besides, I'm a magician." stab, "Not," dodge, "A," swing, "Warrior." he was hit and went flying. His back slammed against the stariwell's banister and he grunted. Ruby gasped and Spinel grimanced. Syaoran, who had been watching the entire battle with an unreadable expression moved very suddenly, slicing his blade through the shadow-Eriol's discoporate body. The shadow froze, aquiring a stance that seemed almost shocked, before turning on the chinese boy. "You may not be a warrior, Hiiragizawa," Syaoran began, "But I am." he met the shadow's blows easily, but the few hits he did get in simply cut through the shadow's body and threw him off balance. Eriol forced himself to his feet and furrowed his brows. Syaoran was fighting well. If he were facing a real opponent, there would be no doubt which combatant was the winner, and which the loser. But... but... but... Eriol's eyes went to Syaoran's shadow, which moved with just as much fluidity, grace and skill as it's owner. The shadow was bleeding into it, and Eriol realized that he was the only one who noticed it. "Li-kun! Move away from the card _right now_!" he yelled. Syaoran snorted and dug his blade deep into the shadow's stomach to no avail, "What the hell are you yelling about, Hiiragizawa!? I'm winning! Just seal the goddamn card and get it over with!" The copy-Eriol's fighting was growing sloppy, but Syaoran's shadow was almost completely filled in. Spinel noticed, "Li-kun, listen to Eriol! If you don't move right now-" Spinel never finished his warning. It wouldn't have mattered anyways. Copy-Eriol disappeared without warning and Syaoran stumbled forwards, disorientated and offbalance. Behind him, rose a shadow in the form of Li Syaoran- sword, kata and all. Syaoran looked over his shoulder. "Oh shit." he stated eloquently, and flung his sword up in front of him in a sloppy, fearful attempt at defense. But the Shadow didn't care about Syaoran. Indeed, the chinese boy had been correct when he stated that the card wanted Eriol. It went straight for him and the mage did not see it coming until it was too late. The shadow's sword buried itself in Eriol's torso with surprising force. Eriol's gray eyes went wide, then glassy, then dark. He tried to cry out, but his mouth was dry and his voice silenced. The shadow withdrew the blade and the mage crumpled to the floor wordlessly. It's mission accomplished, the shadow dropped Syaoran's form and melted back into the floor, sliding under the door and making itself scarce. In the silence that followed, Ruby ran to her master, but stopped short, her mouth falling open in horror. Spinel hadn't even made an attempt to move from where he was hovering just above the stairs. Syaoran's sword clattered to the ground and he took three hesitant steps forwards. "Hi-Hiiragizawa?" he whispered fearfully. Eriol Hiiragizawa was still breathing despite having a gaping hole in his midsection. It was not his wound that filled his Gaurdian's face with terror. It was not the pain on his face that drew out the unusual sympathy in Syaoran's voice. It was not the shallowness of his breath that froze Spinel Sun in his spot. No. Eriol Hiiragizawa had been imapled to near death... but he was not bleeding. 

* * *

Tomoyo closed the door quietly and glared some more at Spinel and Touya for extra measure, "What if he's dying?" she hissed. Syaoran turned away awkwardly. Something about an angry Tomoyo did not sit right with him. Something about a dying Hiiragizawa also unsettled him deep in the pit of his soul, which, apparently, was the pit of his stomach where he felt the dread building. He clamped his jaw shut to keep his teeth from chattering. Tomoyo was still glaring though Spinel had explained for the twentieth time why they couldn't take Eriol to a hospital and why he wasn't dying. Tomoyo nodded and sat cross legged in the hallway, across from a tired looking Ruby. Tomoyo understood afterall, but she didn't like it. Syaoran sighed. The past few weeks were bringing out the worst in her. In all of them. "Spinel." Syaoran asked after a moment, unable to deal with the silence any longer, "Why is it that only Eriol was injured by the Shadow card's blow?" Syaoran looked at his dark arms where the copy-Eriol had caught him with the staff. No marks. No _pain_. He had been caught in the shadow for a few moments, true, but it was more like being dragged beneath a wave then a sensation of actual pain. Tomoyo looked up, alarmed and quickly looked away again, choosing instead to stare sadly at the floor. Spinel was still in his natural form though Ruby had transformed into her Nakuru body for some unexplained reason. The panther gaurdian paced in front of the door to Eriol's room thinking dark, intelligent thoughts. He didn't look at Syaoran, but he grumbled deep and low beneath his breath. "That's... not an easy question to answer." he said regretfully. "It's not like we've got anything better to do." Touya sighed and rolled his eyes towards the ceiling. Spinel twitched his pointed ears. "No. It's not a long explaination. It's just..." he trailed off, but tried again when he realized that everyone's attention was focused on him, "I think that Eriol's been trying to tell us it all along. The body, Eriol Hiiragizawa, was just a shell to hold Clow's reincarnated soul for a given period of time. When he expelled Clow's prescence from his body he..." the gaurdian shook his head. "He compromised his humanity." Tomoyo finished sadly. Syaoran blinked and looked at the door, "You mean... he really doesn't have a soul." "I wouldn't go so far as to say _that_." Spinel replied harshly, glaring at Syaoran through turquoise cat eyes, "But, since the Shadow card has nearly coporal interaction with souless objects, I'd say Eriol is certainly lacking... something..." Syaoran rose and approached the door, "Can I see him?" he asked. Spinel looked him up and down, almost as if he was going to refuse, but he moved and Syaoran entered the room. It was the ridiculously spacious guest room Meiling had used before disappearing. Her things were gone, and the room seemed strangely empty without them. Eriol was curled up weakly to one side of the wide bed, pale even against white sheet. He opened his eyes as Syaoran approached and attempted a smile. "Li-kun." he said simply. His voice was weak and Syaoran was sure that his tone was trying to be surprised. He didn't answer vocally, but nodded and sat on the edge of the bed. _'What am I supposed to say now?'_ "You really don't need to say anything, Xi-" Eriol stopped himself, "Li-kun." "Thank you." Syaoran said quickly. Eriol raised an elegant eyebrow. He wasn't wearing his glasses and somehow his intelligent gaze felt less severe, " _'Thank you?'_ What are you thanking me for?" "Saving my life." Syaoran sighed and closed his eyes. Why was he saying all this? Was he really thankful, or was it just pity? Hiiragizawa was always so strong. Even when he was bleeding to death on Syaoran's bedroom floor there was something... almost invincible about him. But he looked so fragile lying there in Meiling's bed, close to death from a wound that no one could see. "You don't really mean that." Eriol's voice held no bitterness. He was stating a fact. Syaoran knew that he was right, but despite this he felt a desperate need to prove that he was grateful. He opened his eyes and saw that Eriol was giving him one of those indescribable looks. The kind that shook him to his core because those looks told him that Hiiragizawa knew him. Knew what he was thinking and knew what he would do. Syaoran grimaced, and cupped Eriol's chin in his sword-worn hand, tracing his thumb along the mage's high cheekbone. He brought his lips towards the other boy's, but stopped when he was close enough to feel Eriol's haggared breath against his face. "No. No, I don't really mean that." "Clow is angry." Eriol changed the subject, but neither moved. Syaoran felt his heart do a little cartwheel and asked: "What are you going to do?" He expected an answer. A plan. At the very least, he expected that Eriol would know what to do. Instead, the mage exhaled a long, tired breath and grabbed the front of Syaoran's shirt, pulling the chinese boy closer. "I don't know." 


	15. XIV In Between the Lines

I'm a bad person. It take me a long time to update, but I promise it's only because:  
A) My personal life kills me dead. No really.  
B) I'm writing the last 11 chapters of this fic practically at the same time  
But I will finish it. Some day. This was pretty much the last chapter I didn't want to write. Thank you to anyone who is still reading this. I must also apologize for the inherent suckiness of this chapter- it's probably not worth the wait. -whistles innocently-**Cessation**  
Izzy Girl**XIV** _In Between the Lines_Eriol was in pain, but there was work to be done. He pulled himself out of Meiling's bed with no small effort, clutching his wound the whole time. After whispering a spell to silence his movements, he set his feet on the floor and began slowly pulling on his robes.His progress was disturbed by the sound of something- someone else. A slight groan, the sound of someone shifting in their sleep or perhaps displeased by the course their dreams have taken. Eriol looked over his shoulder apprehensively only to find that Syaoran had fallen asleep in the short, stumpy armchair at the bedside.Eriol furrowed his brow- that was strange. Syaoran had been doing many strange things lately, but this certainly took the cake. He sighed and continued to button up his tunic decided not to waste his now limited brainpower on attempting to decode the other boy's contradictory actions. He quietly paced across the room and placed two fingers on Syaoran's temple, murmering a few choice words and casting him off into a deeper sleep."Sweet dreams, Little Wolf." he breathed, and then was gone.

* * *

"What we need is a plan!" Kero exclaimed loudly over breakfast at the Kinomoto house, "A course of AFFIRMATIVE action!""Affirmitive action?" Spinel repeated dubiously, "I dislike 'buzz' words.""Oh, you're always so _melodramatic_, Suppi." Ruby complained, "Keroberos may be on to something,""I'd like to know where my father is." Touya stated simply, his face hidden behind a newspaper he wasn't actually reading."Kero, what you're trying to say is that we need to orginize ourselves and carry out a coordinated operation." Tomoyo spoke softly and the wind was battering the sides of the house with a vengence. It was a mircale she, Ruby and Suppi had managed to make it over that morning."That's right!" Kero agreed gleefully, "No more blind shots in the dark. We can't just go out to capture a card and expect that everything will fall into place like it did with Sakura.""Right." Tomoyo nodded, a faint smile breaking on her face, "These are different times.""And, apparently, different cards." Suppi drawled, "Keroberos, how do you propose we come up with a plan that is actually workable. There are too many variables...""Oh, please." Kero held his round head in tiny paws, "Enough with the variables, Spinel! I'm beginning to think that you really don't _want_ us to capture the cards and restore order to the universe.""You're exaggerating, Keroberos. I hardly think our actions have that much sway over the entire space time continuim.""We'd be saving Japan at least." Ruby muttered, "From a dreary fate indeed. I'm beginning to think that if we don't stop that Storm card soon it will just keep raining forever.""People have died." Touya pointed out, still not actually reading his newspaper."Okay Kero, we're listening." Tomoyo said brightly.And Kero was silent. Everyone stared at him and even Touya lowered his newspaper expectantly. Kero furrowed his brow and twitched his wings, "Hey, I never said that I _had_ a plan, only that we _needed_ one.""Figures." Spinel muttered darkly."Why don't _you_ think of something, then, smarty pants!" Kero growled, despite being somewhat non-threatening in his stuffed form, "You're the only Posh-Oxford-Grauate-Scholar type at this table. Shouldn't you be wracking that little brain of yours trying to figure out a way to fix this mess!?"Spinel looked somewhat taken aback, but it was Ruby who chimed in, "You see, Keroberos, Suppi doesn't actually like _doing_ work. He just sits around and look smart." she paused dramatically before continuing, "Anyways, I think that we need to lure the Storm card to us somehow. We've been searching aimlessly for the eye of the Storm for a week now... wouldn't it be easier to bring the eye of the storm to us?""Wow, Ruby." Touya marvelled, "That was almost intelligent."Ruby glared darkly and Tomoyo answered for her, "Don't forget, Touya, that she was made by Eriol Hiiragizawa.""Gasp." stated Spinel, "The ditzy abandon is just an act. Who would have guessed.""Yes, well." Kero interrupted, "Although this witty repitoire is rather amusing, can we please keep to one subject? Talk about Ruby's mental capacity, or talk about Ruby's plan. You can't do both.""Well, Ruby, what exactly _is_ your plan?" Touya wondered dryly, "How do you plan to bring the storm to us?"Ruby opened her mouth, but didn't speak. Her accomplished expression faded quickly and she slouched slightly over the back of the couch, "Um... I'm not sure." Touya and Spinel sighed nearly in unison and Kero slapped his forehead, however, Tomoyo appeared skeptical."I think you do." she said softly, "I think Ruby knows exactly what needs to be done," Ruby's bright eyes raised to meet Tomoyo's even gaze, "I think she was going to suggest that we use one of the other cards as... bait."Silence. Ruby shrugged awkwardly and turned her head away from the others. Kero was the first to voice his opinion on the matter, "Wait... is that right? I mean- can we do that?""Of course we can _do_ it." Spinel interjected smoothly, "The real question is: are we _willing_ to do it.""That's what I meant." Kero muttered in response. He began pacing distractedly, scratching his chin and wearing an expression that made it clear he was deliberating in a most painful fashion, "It would work... the cards seem uninterested in us- well, except for Hiiragizawa- but they've already shown that they will come to each other's rescue. If we make it seem as if we're willing to-""Keroberos, the cards are akin to our _siblings_. Think about what you're saying!" there was a sharp edge of raw emotion working it's way into Spinel's even tone. Kero and Ruby both shot suprised glances at the other gaurdian- Spinel Sun was not one to fall to pieces over moral issues. He was, in most cases, the one campaigning for the necessary, rather than the right."Spinel, I'm-" Kero didn't finish the sentence. He shrugged just as helplessly as Ruby had earlier- it wasn't right. It just... wasn't. But it would probably work.Tomoyo inhaled sharply, announcing a heavy statement before the words even left her mouth, "What if... what if the card was a willing participant?" This statement recieved some very wide eyed stares, but no incredelous glares. Tomoyo folded her hands on the table and aquired a serene expression before continuing, "If one of the cards we've captured were willing to pose as bait for us in order to lur the storm card into the open- would that be right?"No one seemed to have an answer to that. Tomoyo waited patiently, but before anyone could affirm or deny, the front door of the house clattered open loudly without invitation. Touya rose from his chair to investigate, but soon found himself sitting again as Li Syaoran thundered into the kitchen, waving his arms frantically."He's _not here_!?" Syaoran demanded, slamming his open palms on the table and scanning the others with a dark and dangerous glare, "Then he's _gone_!" he threw his arms into the air and spun on his heel, heading back towards the door. Touya jumped up from his chair again and grabbed one of Syaoran's shoulders, spinning the chinese boyback towards the kitchen."Wait a minute, Li. What do you _mean_ 'he's gone'? Hiiragizawa could barely _breathe_, let alone walk!"Syaoran gathered himself for a moment, taking a deep and laborious breath, "Well, whether it was divine intervention or some damnable magic trick he strolled out in the middle of the night trailing blood across the guest room, floor.""What the hell is he trying to accomplish?" Kero demanded angrily, flying to nest on Syaoran's shoulder. Syaoran's eyes flashed and he glared at the stuffed guardian, "Like hell if I know. I don't understand the bastard anymore than you do!" he brushed Kero from his shoulder gruffly and with that, he left in a huff, complete with a tidy slamming of the door."Soooo... should we help him or what?" Ruby wondered quietly in the aftermath of the chaos.Touya snorted, "Not a chance in hell.""Besides," Spinel added, "If Eriol left of his own free will, I do no suspect he will want to be found. And if Eriol does not want to be found, he will not be found."

* * *

Clow was angry. His anger burnt like flames and raged like a hurricane. He also wasn't quite himself, something which was quite apparent to Li Meiling, who had spent her entire childhood listening to the stories of Clow's ledgandary mild manner.Eriol had come. Which probably wasn't the most intelligent thing he could have done considering the situation. Meiling ducked in the corner, her black outfit merging with the shadows, and watched the exchange from hiding. The room looked funny- she hadn't quite gotten used to the world through magically blinded eyes yet. Everything was blurry, almost like it was under water and the color was so dull her brain could hardly register it. Eriol was a smudge of white against a pitch black background, his dark clothes melting easily into the backdrop. He looked like he was floating in the darkness, and Meiling found this unnerving.He bowed. It was a polite gesture, but Meiling could sense that it was not completely sincere, "Fujitaka-san." he said mildly, looking at the old wizard wryly over the top of his round glasses. Clow stiffened and shifted in his chair, rapping his fingers on the chair's arm."You know very well that I am not Fujitaka Kinomoto." he muttered, fixing a fierce glare on his former vessel, "What have you done to me?"Eriol swooped into another bow, deeper this time, "I have simply seperated us. I wished to...""I know what you _wished_ to do, Eriol." Clow's voice had lowered to a growl. Meiling was surprised. For some reason that voice sounded wrong on the usually soft tempered and grinning Clow Reed. Meiling wondered if this was what Eriol sounded like when he was angry to, "You and I are the same person afterall- do you have any idea what you've done to me?"Eriol raised an eyebrow when he looked up this time, "I have done nothing to you, Clow, except force you to use your other vessel.""Fujitaka Kinomoto was never meant to be my body." Clow bit out each word, bitter and heavy. He stood sharply and paced towards Eriol, "Fujitaka Kinomoto is _not_ Clow Reed, Eriol- you are my body. You've severed me from my body and you've stolen Kinomoto-san's spirit from him."Something flickered across Eriol's gray eyes, but he regained his composure almost instantly, "What about my spirit?" he asked quietly, "When did Eriol Hiiragizawa get a chance to be his own person?"Clow stared at Eriol for a long, still moment. The boy kept his gaze level but his hands were shuddering and- was he bleeding? Meiling thought that she had seen blood- thick, red and ominous, drip slowly from his hand to the floor. She squinted, to see if it had pooled at his feet but all she could see was black."There is no Eriol Hiiragizawa." Clow said finally, "You were always Clow. _I_ was always Clow. Don't you understand- I am Eriol Hiiragizawa. You're nothing. You're just an empty husk."Eriol inhaled sharply at those words. The impact was almost physical and Meiling swore that he swayed in distress. He exhaled, a sharp hiss, and clutched his hands to the neck of his robes, "T-that's can't be true. It doesn't... why would I have even gotten the idea to...""That's easy enough." Clow said tiredly, turning from his counterpart and falling into his high-backed chair, "I'm insane."Eriol blinked heavily and began to gather himself. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. He left, fading off into the shadows like a ghost fading into the daylight. Meiling emerged from her hiding spot and came to sit at Clow's side. She looked at him, dropped eyelids and a palm across his forehead, and wondered what could have caused this change in the Magician."Why didn't you realize that you were insane until now?"Meiling was not surprised when he didn't answer. That was okay- she would find out for herself.

* * *

He was standing in the eye of the storm.Of all the ridiculous places... Syaoran was beginning to tire of Eriol's flair for the melodramatics. He was soaking wet with a nasty temper to fit his ragged apperance. His sword was slung over one shoulder and his jacket so heavy with rain that it nearly hung past his knees. He had searched absolutely everywheres before accidently stumbling into the calm clearing in the middle of a deserted street. In the eye of the storm, he could see clear in front of him, a hundred feet until the storm started up again at the other side.Eriol was just standing in the middle of the street staring at the sky like it was telling him something.Useless, frivilous melodramatics. Syaoran wondered if Eriol would notice if he decided to sneak up behind him and lop his head off with his sword. His fingers tightened around the hilt at the thought, but before any solid plans could form, Eriol turned around and looked at him with those piercing, gray eyes. Syaoran loosened his grip on his sword and began walking towards Eriol as if it were an involuntary act."You... are an idiot." Syaoran said lamely. He'd had a rant written. Recited it a thousand times in fact, but for some reason that all seemed irrelevant now. Eriol was bleeding through his robes. He wasn't even trying to hide it- his hands were covered in blood.Eriol just nodded, "Yes, Lu-kun. I realize that."Eriol always knew the wrong thing to say. His cloak was midnight colored tonight, trimmed in dark red and dotted with stars. It was topped off by one of those ridiculous hats he seemed so fond of. He'd obviously stopped off somewhere to give himself a wardrobe change. So ridiculous."If you're really not Clow anymore, why must you insist on dressing like him?" Syaoran changed the subject. Eriol hadn't been bleeding before and he wasn't sure if this was a good sign or not."I enjoy dressing in such a manner." Eriol smiled thinly, "Don't you think it suits me?"Syaoran didn't answer. Useless small talk- he was worried sick, but if he didn't bother talking Eriol would never be wiser.Eriol set his large eyes on the chinese boy and Syaoran found himself meeting the magician's gaze against his will. He didn't want to look in Eriol's eyes- he disliked the way they seemed to catch and reflect the shadows no matter the time of day. Now, during the lull night they held an inky, void-like quality that made Syaoran dizzy when he looked into them too intently."Does it make you uncomfortable being so close to me?" Eriol asked.Syaoran tensed at the question. There was something in Eriol's gaze- he couldn't quite put his finger on it but it was dark and almost... frightened. It was like he was trying to have two conversations at once, only Syaoran couldn't understand the subtext."I did promise you, Li-kun, that I would not touch you or even speak to you with familiarity." he paused, "Unless you asked me to.""I don't understand." Syaoran sighed. What exactly was he getting at? "I don't understand why you would pursue me so intently and then suddenly just give up like this?""Does it bother you?"Syaoran hesistated. _'Why am I bringing this up now? Why am I bringing this up at all?'_. He gazed out into the night and felt as if the enveloping darkness would take away his secret thoughts and desires and carry them into a closed place. Eriol blended into this night with his dark robes and shadowy eyes and if he whispered doubts into the night, who would hear?"Maybe. A little bit.""Are you sure you want to talk about this now?"Syaoran blinked and turned back to Eriol who was staring at him just as pointedly as he had been before. He relaxed a bit, "There isn't much to talk about, Hiiragizawa."Eriol finally looked away, raising his gaze and frowning deeply. Syaoran wondered if the mage was tracing the constellations in the sky. Knowing Eriol, he could probably place them even in the middle of a storm. Then again, how much of that knowledge was his own and how much of it had he lost when Clow's spirit had fled the body?"Are you going to answer my question?""You'll never love me." Eriol answered quickly, as if he had already planned this conversation, "I thought I could make you love me."Syaoran opened his mouth to reply to this, but found that nothing came out. He shook his head and Eriol looked at him again, something wavering in his dark, glassy eyes."Your devotion to the Mistress is admirable." he murmered tenderly, "Perhaps I am jealous of what Sakura had earned from you. Her ghost and the shadow of the love you once held for her will forever loom over every word you speak, every thought you think, everything you do... I could make you care about me enough to take me into your heart, Xiao Lang, that I am sure of, but I would doom myself to being the phantom lover- the replacement." here, Eriol paused a moment and chuckled, no doubt realizing he had broken his promise. He closed his eyes reflectivly for a few seconds, then opened them again.He moved quickly, grabbing Syaoran's wrists and dragging the boy into a loose embrace. Syaoran's sword clattered to the ground as Eriol pressed their bodies together and whispered softly into his neck. "I could love you like no one ever has and like no one ever will. I could ravage you senses and fill your mind and leave you craving for more. I could make you obsessed with me, Li Xiao Lang, to a point where you'd fall on your knees and beg for me to make love to you. I could give you the most memorable love affair you could ever ask for- the kind that leaves you panting and wide eyed afterwards, tangled up in the bedsheets with your heart pounding and your lips parted, fingernails digging little halfcircles into my skin. You'd say you loved me and you'd let me hold you quietly and softly. I'd be granted to a glance of your carefully gaurded emotions and when it was all over you'd sob for days on end because you'd realize it was a once-in-a-liftime deal and it would be impossible ever to find anything like it ever again. But in your mind, Syaoran, it would always be second-rate and I inconsequential because I wasn't the first to find my way into your heart." he tightened his grip on Syaoran's wrists and waited patiently for the boy's reply.Syaoran was breathing heavily and felt heat creeping almost painfully to his cheeks as Eriol spoke. He shifted beneath that now familiar body and tried to process it all. The mage spoke of such passion with such conviction that it almost brought tears to Syaoran's eyes. He spoke so beautifully and so sadly of love that Syaoran wanted to be kissed again, wanted to be held, wanted to experience such love that it would leave him wide eyed and gasping, but he realized that this was exactly what Eriol wanted. He was a master at seduction and beautiful words."Hiiragizawa, you think a lot of yourself." he stated shakily, "Now let the hell go of me." he struggled weakly and Eriol laughed, drawing back and loosening his grip slightly."Oh, you really are something, Little Wolf. You could perfectly well break free of my grasp if you really wanted to. If you wanted to, you could kill me. Afterall, I'm not all powerful anymore!" he hovered closely, his lips nearly touching Syaoran's. The chinese boy fell limp and moved his lips stickily. He closed his eyes and parted his mouth expectantly...... and nothing. Eriol tsked sadly and muttered, "Who are you trying to fool, Li-kun? Now you want me after all I've said? The truth is... I've stopped pursuing you because you want to be pursued."He drew away quickly and before Syaoran knew it they were sitting apart again. He felt across his cheek, neck and lips where Eriol's breath still lingered. He inhaled deeply and felt something indesrcibable rising within him. Why did this mean so much to him?"Hiiragizawa...""We should head back, Li-kun." Eriol said coldly, not looking at Syaoran as he passed him, "It's late."Syaoran had failed to read between the lines. 


	16. XV Se languir, ébouli par duex yuex

Oh., it's been a while since I've updated this. Ahahaha. Ha ha. But I do plan on finishing it someday and, wow, I was totally hit by inspiration a few hours ago! I've been recieving a lot of reviews from people asking me to continue lately, but what actually spurred me to sit down and pump out a chapter tonight was prodding from my dear friend Caily who is perhaps the first and biggest fan of this story. XD

Hopefully, this chapter is worth the wait (UNLIKELY, HAHAHA). It's a whopping **4971** words and contains resolution to this current story arc _plus_ the long awaited confrontation between Eriol and Syaoran gaspu. This chapter finally ups the raiting from PG13 to R (yay), and I can't help but feel it's a little OOC considering I haven't touched this thing for over a year (WHOOPS).

Either way, I hope you all enjoy this! And I hope I won't take another two years to update!

**Cessation**  
Izzy Girl

**XV** _Se languir, ébouli par duex yuex, seble un plaisir et n'est que torment_

Syaoran was tired.

Not just physically, although that was part of it. He'd spent the night tossing and turning, haunted by all the things he didn't want to think about.

What Syaoran tired of was the battle. The battle with the cards, the battle with Clow's legacy, the battle with himself. He was a warrior- a valiant knight in search of honor, but with no Kingdom and no Queen to protect was there really any reason to continue fighting?

"You listenin' to me, Li? Because I get the feeling everything I just said went in one ear and out the other."

Syaoran sighed and nodded, burshing his wet bangs out of his eyes. The storm was showing no sign of clearing, and he could hardly see where Tomoyo stood in the center of the abandoned street, Mirror card by her side a perfect reflection.

"Hiiragizawa said he could buy you about three minutes, so you have to seal the card fast." Kero's voice boomed above the rain as he paced behind Syaoran, looking no less dignified with his golden fur dripping wet and his feathered wings ruffled.

Syaoran pressed his eyes shut and tried to still his breathing. Hiiragizawa was the last thing he wanted to think about when he was trying to concentrate. Unfortunately, all he could see against the blackness was Eriol's kohl gaze. Pale skin, midnight hair, the soft rustling of silk in the moonlight.

_'I loved Sakura'_ Syaoran reminded himself firmly, _'Sakura was the love of my life. She was my soul mate and even in death no one will take her place. No one. Especially not him.'_ That's why he did it, afterall. Syaoran acknowledged, dully, that over half his life had been dictated by actions taken for the love of Sakura. There was no way he could betray her memory by turning to Hiiragizawa again.

_'Am I really that lonely?'_ he wondered bitterly, disgusted at the way he shuddered everytime Eriol brushed by him in the hall, or gently laid a hand upon his shoulder.

"There you go, zoning out again. Dammnit, Syaoran, what the hell are you thinking about?"

Syaoran raised his shoulders defensively, _'You don't want to know.'_ he answered silently, fixing his gaze once again upon Tomoyo and her card. She turned her head slightly and met his gaze through the strom, dark eyes calm and calculating. Ruby stood at her side, looking unsure but ready to protect her should anything go awry.

"I'm ready." Syaoran stated firmly, striking a stance and drawing his sword. Kero sauntered to his side, exceedingly calm considering the situation and said:

"Well, kid, if you think-" whatever else he was about to say was cut out by the harsh howl of the wind changing direction and Ruby shouting: "Here it comes!" as she flung herself in front of Tomoyo's slender frame.

Syaoran was nearly flung backwards, but Kero's prescence at his back kept him from toppling over completely. He gathered himself quickly with a sharp inhale of breath and began scanning the dark sky for any sign of the sprite-like card spirit.

"How do you fight the wind," he muttered, sheilding his eyes.

"You ride it!" Kero shouted back, nuzzling his head into Syaoran's arm whilst simultaneously giving him a sour expression, "Jump on!"

Syaoran didn't think twice about the offer. Clumsily, he grabbed two handful's of the Guardian's fur (much to Kero;s chargin) and hoisted himself over his back. The take off was awkward and the wind made it difficult to hold on without yanking Kero's fur, but within half a minute they were hurtling through the sky.

"Don't you dare drop me!" Syaoran yelled, face almost pressed into Kero's fur for protection.

"Wouldn't dream of it!" and the Guardian almost _laughed_, "Keep your eyes peeled!"

Syaoran bit his lip and attempted to pull himself into an upright position. Most of his concentration was divided between remaining alive and keeping a grip on his sword whilst doing so. The sky was a whirling mass of gray and jagged, distant lightning. He was looking for a pale shadow against the clouds- he'd seen Sakura call upon the Storm card's power before, but it all seemed so far in the past now.

'Okay, Syaoran. Remember you mother's lessons. Channel the elements, channel your chakra and _see_ with your soul, not your eyes.' green, white, blue on gray and a surge of natural energy to the- "It's there!" he shouted, yanking urgently on Kero's neck fur, "Left, left! It's to the left!"

Kero growled deep in the back of his throat and mumered something that sounded suspiciously like: "Hold on, kid." before dipping into a not-so-graceful barrel roll U-turn. Syaoran couldn't help but exclaim: "What the hell do you think you're-" before he was hit hard in the side by a rather malicious gust of wind. Without really registering what had happened, his grip loosened and he felt himself fall.

_Slowly_.

There was a lot of inexplicable pain in his side and he could hear Kero screaming his name above the wind. His sword dived uselessly towards the earth and all around him was a vortex-void of sound, water and wind and somehow, suddenly, it _didn't matter_.

'Ow,' his brain registered, 'That shouldn't have hurt that much.'

_Syaoran Li._

He blinked once and then snapped back to attention, immediately doubling over from the intense throbbing in his side.

_Doubling over... standing up... wait._

Syaoran's eyes widened as he realized that, no, he was _not_ on the ground and no, he was _not_ falling either but rather he was floating, mid-air impossible face to face with a rather displeased looking Storm Card. 'Where's my sword?' he thought, but all he managed to say was: "Yes, that's my name."

The card scoffed and it's glowing hair danced, _That was a nasty trick you played with the Mirror Card and Clow's Shadow._

Syaoran frowned, "It was a nasty trick you played putting the entire city out of comission for a week."

_Don't condescend to me, Syaoran Li, when none of you know the situation. Especially not you. Not when all of this is your fault?_

Well, _that_ one was new, "_My_ fault?" he repeated incredelously, "How could any of this possibly be _my_ fault?"

_You are ignorant of the situation. If you knew the truth, you would not fault us._

"Right now I don't care about fault." Syaoran hissed, "I'm going to seal you."

The card raised one eyebrow and aquired a mischevious sort of smirk Syaoran hadn't even known the cards capable of, _And what makes you think you have the right to seal me?_

"I am the descendant of Clow." Syaoran replied simply, "You need no other reason to yeild to me."

_Clow's blood means nothing now. You of all people should know that._

"I was the close companion of your master, Sakura Kinomoto!" Syaoran shouted in frustration, "And I seal you by the light of the Kinimoto star, with the blood of Clow!"

_Not good enough, I'm afraid._ the card swayed closer and reached out to press two cool fingers to Syaoran's cheek, _However, I am one of the faithful cards. Perhaps not to any human master, but I listen always to the wise words of the light and dark ones. They have told us that the time is coming soon and I choose to listen to them._ the card's finger's tipped his head back until he could faintly see the clouds clearing above the turbulance. The first hints of sunlight in ten days, _Say the words, Syaoran Li, and I will surrender._

Syaoran was feeling dizzy again, but he mouthed the words: "By the light of the Kinomoto star, I seal-"

* * *

When he opened his eyes, there was so much sunlight he had to close them again. When his eyes finally adjusted to the light, he opened them again to see Tomoyo, Ruby and a stuffed Kero staring down, varying degrees of concern on their faces.

"You have all the dumb luck in the world." Kero shook his head in something between mocking disgust and quiet approval.

"That one was almost approaching unsalvagable." Ruby agreed with a slight nod.

Tomoyo smiled and brushed her hair behind her ears, "What did she say to you?" she asked quietly, pointing to the card clenched between Syaoran's thumb and forefinger. Slowly, Syaoran lifted it to examine the inticrite designs framing a now familiar face. He narrowed his eyes.

"She... she said," a pause and he lowered the card, "She said that it was all my fault."

* * *

Syaoran stared absently at his ceiling, fingers nervously working along the edging and seams of his sheets. The night closed in around him and all he could hear were the Storm card's words echoing in the back of him mind again and again. His fault? Sakura was the magician, not him. He'd only been the loyal sidekick, standing on the sidelines uselessly as Sakura... as Sakura...

... how could she have possibly failed? That was what the card had been implying, surely. That there had been a fault in Sakura's methods, something lacking in her technique. But how could that... how did that...

_'Sakura's dead'_ Syaoran assured himself, _'And that's that. But... could her death have been influenced by... could it have been because of...'_

He cut himself off before the thought could finish forming. Those were dark, unecessary thoughts. Clow's magic was _good_. Syaoran knew that much- his mother made sure he had known the tenants and rules of Clow's magic inside and out and if he knew anything, he knew that Clow was a good man who only thought of and made good things.

_'Although,'_ he noted bitterly, _'That hardly explains what's going on now. It doesn't explain Clow's anger or Eriol's madness. Or Eriol in general, really.'_

Eriol who hadn't bothered to show his face since the battle. There should have been a rattling of the doorknob, the sound of the mage pacing. Things were _too_ silent and Syaoran didn't know what he would do if the idiot had gotten himself killed (which would, these days, be a rather characteristic thing for him to do).

_'I'm worried only because...'_ he told himself resolutely, _'I do not trust him.'_ he closed his eyes finally, but didn't stop listening.

His mother had always stressed meditation as being one of the most important aspects of magical discipline. Syaoran was the last person to admit he wasn't very good at it, but he knew that if he were in a true trance, he would not have been disturbed by the slight rustling of air above his face.

His eyes snapped open and he found himself staring into two wide, silver eyes, clear and crisp beneath tilted glasses.

"Hii-Hiiragizawa?" he stuttered.

Eriol was sitting on the edge of his bed, wearing the same neutral expression he always did when dealing with Syaoran these days. His cloaks were a deep blue trimmed only in gold, chinese lining (when had he had the time to change?). He was wearing no hat and took his glasses off for a moment to polish them on his sleeve.

Syaoran sat up, "Where the hell were you?"

Eriol didn't even look at him, "It is very uncharacteristic of you to be so concerned, Li-kun. My doings are none of your business."

The chinese boy grimaced and moved forwards, suddenly very determined to have the mage look at him, "You _must_ have been hurt in that battle. What, you think you're too good to even bother checking in on us after something like that?" Eriol was impassive, "Where the _hell_ were you?" Syaoran repeated, voice dipping down into a dangerous, impatient tone.

Eriol shrugged nochalantly and placed his glasses back on the bridge of his nose, "I had some... business to attend to." That's when Syaoran noticed the slash down the side of his tunic, obscured by the darkness, with reddened skin beneath it.

"You're hurt." Syaoran's voice was anything but concerned. Oh no, he was unimpressed bordering on _angry_.

Once again, Eriol shrugged and stood, turning only the barest of glances in Syaoran's direction. "I only wanted you to know that I was her. I'll be going to bed."

Syaoran was about to yell, about to do something irrational. He really was, but _something_ about the picture caused Syaoran's heart to stop and, for a moment, everything was magnifyed and intensified to eternity. Eriol's cloak swayed like dark water and his pale skin was illuminated by the faintest glimmer of moonlight. He was wrapped in shadows, a sad and solitary figure with gray, sinking eyes like dying rose petals. He looked like a phantom in the night, so suited to his midnight element and tragic and romantic in every way. Syaoran didn't know why, but all of a sudden he loved everything about this strange, sad creature.

Or perhaps love wasn't the correct terminology for what Syaoran was feeling. He WANTED everything about Eriol with that sort of all-consuming desire characteristic of lonliness and repressed emotions. Not so many emotions towards Eriol himself, as Syaoran had spent a lifetime repressing. What the mage had said that night in Clow manor was true- Syaoran wanted something to satiate his feelings, those gaping holes in his imperfect personality and he didn't seem to particularily care who or what it was. But oh, he would be happy if Eriol- beautiful, delicate, dark and complicated Eriol would be the one to try to satisfy his pathetic needs.

And if this was what an epiphany was like, Syaoran sure as hell never wanted to experience another one. When he looked at Sakura that day and realized that he loved everything about her it was something quiet and deep rooted. Painfully unrequited, of course, but oh- he felt like he was floating and flying and eating all manner of sweet candy when he realized that all he wanted for the rest of his life was to see her smile and hear her voice singing in his ears.

This was anything but sweet surrender. Syaoran wanted to kiss Eriol in the dark right _now_ and never turn the lights on.

_'What are you doing, Xiao Lang?'_ the rational part of his brian pordded as he moved, as slow as his daze would allow, _'You'll regret this. Maybe not tonight and maybe not tommorow, but someday you'll regret this.'_

Nevertheless, he moved his hand to catch Eriol's wrist and with the barely audible whisper (no more than an exhale) of someone about to admit their own insecurities and weaknesses to someone they once considered an enemy, he said: "Hiiragizawa, wait."

And Eriol stopped. The grip on his wrist was hardly firm, but it was persistant. He spun slowly and blinked at Syaoran, his expression caught somewhere between bemusment and confusion.

"Li-kun, what..."

"Please, Hiiragizawa... just... wait..."

They stared at each other in the darkness and Syaoran bit his lip and held on tighter. He could feel the rational part of his mind pounding a symphony of protest against the wall of his brain, but for once he didn't care. Body and soul on autopilot, anything to make him forg-

Eriol sighed and leaned forwards, bringing with him those shadows and dark angles and wrapping them around Syaoran as well. He nudged one finger beneath the chinese boy's chin and tipped it upwards, studying his face for a few moments.

"Say it." he commanded softly.

Syaoran bristled and turned his face slightly, "You're very cruel, Hiiragizawa." he considered the request a moment, but, "No."

Eriol pulled his wrist from Syaoran's weak grip and moved his hand down the boy's face, tracing careful, delicate patterns along his neck, "_Please_, Xiao Lang, it's very important to me."

Syaoran shook his head and Eriol settled himself on the edge of the bed, tenatively pressing himself against Syaoran's ridgid body. His hands danced lower, touching and teasing but not really making any sort of physical commitment. They stopped at his stomach before ghosting their way up his spine. Syaoran shivered and Eriol brought one hand up to cup the other boy's cheek, then kissed his neck, murmuring heavily into his ear: "E-r-i-o-l. My name is not Hiiragizawa, Xiao Lang, just as you are not Li-kun." he chuckled throatily, "I will have you say it."

He leaned Syaoran back into the matress, the two of them all tangled up in Eriol cloaks and the sheets around them. Syaoran was trembling and Eriol's hands and lips found far too many sensitive spots; too many places to prod and stroke until Syaoran's breathing grew heavy and laboured and he was flushed and he was hating this but he _asked_ for it, oh he _asked for it._.

Eriol laughed into his collarbone. "This is what you want, isn't it? A physical substitution for the emotional void? Why aren't you fighting back, Little Wolf? Is thisyou really want me?" He dropped kisses and light nibbles along Syaoran's neck and shoulders. The buttons on the nightshirt came undone easily (too easily), and Eriol was granted full reign over Syaoran's exposed chest and stomach with his mouth- lips, tounge and teeth. Syaoran's body rose and fell noticably with each breath and his eyes were wide open, staring above listlessly, arms limp at either side. Eriol slid down further, his hands firm at Syaoran's hips, fingers dipping beneath the loose seams of his pants and it wasn't quite there, but it was close enough and-

- Syaoran gasped and suddenly, came to life.

With a feral growl, he threw Eriol off of him and easily pinned the mage against the bed. He hovered above Eriol angrily, his hair all tussled, his shirt hanging open and his pants pushed down just enough that they revealed the curve of his hipbones. "I'll call you whatever the hell I want to call you." he hissed.

Eriol smirked and placed on pale hand (cool and soft as silk) on the small of Syaoran's chest, "Now I know why I call you Little Wolf. You certainly look the part at times."

"Stop it with the fucking control issues. I am _so_ sick of your mind games."

"Look who's speaking." Eriol retorted hopelessly, "Considering our current position, I would hardly say I am the one with control issues."

Syaoran growled, something animal and instictive in him having been released, and grabbed the mage's wrists violently. Eriol winced slightly as his long, graceful arms were folded up behind his head in such a way that he could tell that Syaoran meant for them to stay there.

"Xiao Lang, what do you think..." Eriol words were cut off as Syaoran dived forwards, pressing their mouths together in a hard, rough kiss that forced his tounge past the mage's lips. It was like a strange dance of sorts, but Syaoran was not being careful. He pushed forwards so hungrily that Eriol could feel his lips bruise. He moaned slightly beneath the pressure, and Syaoran grinned into his mouth.

Syaoran broke the kiss hastily and went about removing Eriol's tunic with vigor. He ripped at the clasp, breaking the delicate metal, and ripped away the navy blue fabric until every inch of Eriol's beautiful, pale shoulders were exposed. He then paused, taking a moment to trace a long, torturous trail of kisses and sharp nibbles from the mage's collar bone to his naval. For a split second of hesitation, considered going lower but instead worked his way back up, the light kisses becoming deeper and the nibbles deepining into something akin to _bites_.

And Eriol twisted and moaned and was miserable below him and oh, Syaoran _delighted_ in it.

"Aie... now, now Xiao Lang. You're hurting me."

"Shut up." Syaoran mumbled into his skin, releasing his arms, but pressing down on his shoulders so that the arms remained pinned. He stradled Eriol's body heavily and dug his fingernails into the mage's upper arms as he concentrated on tracing the exposed veins beneath the jugular. Eriol shifted and Syaoran just dug his nails in deeper, watching the various shades of pain flicker across the mage's face with a sick sense of accomplishment.

_'If Sakura were alive, she would hate me.'_ a voice nagged.

_'If Sakura were alive,'_ he answered himself silently, _'I wouldn't be here in the first place.'_

"Li Xiao Lang," Eriol hissed through gritted teeth, "What, exactly, sort of game are you playing at?"

"Your game," Syaoran answered.

"If I were still Clow, I would have put you in your place by now."

"It's that kind of attitude that absolutely _pisses_ me off about you in the first place, _Hiiragizawa_."

Eriol's eyes went uncharacteristically wild for a moment and he pulled away from Syaoran's grasp violently, his flesh tearing beneath Syaoran's fingernails as he did so. Eriol grunted quietly and Syaoran fell back into a sitting position, staring blankly at the blood. The mage quickly began to redo his cloak- or what was left of it- wincing as he shrugged it over the wounded shoulder.

Both were breathing raggedly.

The silence was oppresive and Syaoran felt as if were being crushed, but Eriol didn't move from the edge of the bed, even when he was finished buttoning his tunic. "I... I'm sorry, Hiiragizawa. I..." Syaoran tried quietly, but the words sounded insincere in his mouth, and so very bitter that he wanted to spit them out after he said them. He _wasn't_ sorry. He really, really wasn't.

"Xiao Lang." Eriol began slowly, his voice more serious than Syaoran had heard it in quite a while. There was a barely contained tremble in his undertone that was grave and so dangerous that it sent chills down Syaoran's spine. It reminded him of... of Clow, "I want to explain something very important to you, because it seems as if I haven't made myself clear." his back was turned, but the anger in his manner was still apparent from the way his shoulders rose and fell and the fact that he was clenching the bedsheets between his long fingers so tightly that his knuckles were turning white, "I am... very fond of you, Li Xiao Lang. I don't know when this happened or exactly how to explain it, but I do know one important thing. This is not another one of Clow's ridiculous infatuations. I, Eriol Hiiragizawa, desire you." he paused and sucked in a deep breath. His voice was small when he began again, "That... happens to be special to me."

Syaoran watched Eriol's back thoughtfully and soaked in the words, not really thinking about them, just listening. The words were important, but they flew past him without meaning or substance. He looked at his hands and noticed that the blood was beginning to dry beneath his fingernails.

"I cannot help that I have a desire to be close to you, Xiao Lang, and trust me, if I had a choice right now I would be as far away from you as possible because..." he stopped and turned his head, brow furrowed thicky and eyes gleaming madly beneath his glasses. His voice dropped and gained conviction, "This is just shameful. I already told you that I would leave you alone unless your feelings had changed. But this isn't what I meant, Xiao Lang... this... this is emotional rape."

Those last few words hit Syaoran like a punch in the stomach and he jumped to the defense "_This_ is emotional rape, Hiiragizawa?" and he _laughed_, it was so ridiculous he couldn't believe Eriol had said it, "What about that night in the manor? Was that emotional rape as well?"

Eriol scoffed, "That was entirely different. You're---"

"Oh, I see." Syaoran narrowed his eyes and leaned forwards, his voice raising with his temper, "Well, that's convinient, isn't it? We always play this game by your rules, Hiiragizawa, but I don't think I even care anymore. Afterall... it's not like you even have a soul."

Eriol's eyes widened and he stuttered, "W-what?"

Syaoran jabbed Eriol in the chest, "Ever since you expelled Clow from your body, you've been nothing but an empty shell playing at being human. You think you're in love and you think that you want to help us, but in reality you're just another one of Clow's puppets. Worth even less because the only thing that keeps your body going is the lingering traces of the old man's magic." the chinese boy chuckled coarsely, "You're _nothing_."

The slap was so sudden Syaoran nearly tumbled off the bed. He regained his balance quickly and made a fist to punch back, but Eriol caught his wrist a little _too_ roughly and bent his arm backwards. Syaoran didn't vocalize the pain, but he winced and clenched his teeth and turned his face away when Eriol tried meet his gaze,

"You simply do not understand, do you?" the mage said slowly, voice firm but barely audible, "You have been through so much and somehow, you do not understand. I can hardly believe that I have wasted so much time and energy on an incompetent fool like you."

"Words won't work this time, Hiiragizawa." Syaoran growled, "I know all your tricks, I won't get caught in the web again."

Eriol twisted Syaoran's arm a little further and squeezed his wrist until the bones ached, "Listen to yourself, Xiao Lang! Just _stop talking_ and _stop moving_ and _listen_ for once in you bloody, godcursed life!" Syaoran glowered and tried to fight the agony bleeding into his expression. Eriol continued, his manner almost calm, "You fight and you fight and you _fight_, and whenever you see a chance for peace or solace, you find some reason to turn away and distrust. Most of the time, you cause it to turn away from you before you even have a chance to reject it."

Syaoran's expression became incredelous, "Are you trying to imply that you're some sort of solace for me?"

"I'm quite the opposite, apparently. _Actually_, I was referring to your friends and your family. I was referring to all the options presented to you in order to make your life bearable since the Mistress' disapperance, and yet you've chosen to walk the futile warrior's path, fighting and dwelling until it's whittled you down and eaten away at you and here you are, a bitter and angry person chasing the empty memory of a princess's ghost." "Well, it's a damn good thing I kept fighting, considering the situation we've gotten ourselves into!"

"That is not what I am trying to say!" Eriol snapped.

"Then just say what you want to say and get it over with!" Syaoran realized that he was yelling now, but he didn't care. Didn't care because Eriol was probably speaking the truth and he was so damn _calm_ about it and one of them _needed_ to be yelling.

"What I am trying to say, Xiao Lang, is that you have distanced yourself from everyone who has ever cared about you. They stand by you out of duty, but when is the last time you've ever asked for help? Tomoyo-san and the Guardians; your own beloved cousin, Meiling. And let's not forget, of course, Sakura."

Syaoran's eyes went wide and glassy at the mention of the former Mistress's name, "What are you talking about." he muttered, "Sakura died."

Eriol blinked, "Right. And you are incapable of letting go."

Syaoran's face set into icy fury once again, "And why the hell should I? I loved her!"

"And she loved you, so do you really believe that this is what she would have wanted? For you to have become _this_? All hollowed out by sorrow and silent rage. Trying to say that it is for _her_ sake?"

"Who cares." Syaoran snorted, "That's bit irrelevant. She's gone so it doesn't really matter." the words come out so _easily_ and he regrets them immediately because it does matter but he could never admit that Eriol was right. _Never_.

Eriol's grip on Syaoran's wrist loosened and his face fell. He shook his head slowly, "You are honestly the most pathetic person I have ever met in all my lives."

"Yeah." Syaoran retorted dully, "But you're in love with me, so who's truly pathetic?"

Eriol dropped Syaoran's arm listlessly and turned, rising and crossing the length of the bedroom towards the door. Syaoran rubbed his arm gently-

- and suddenly, without warning, felt himself snap.

Perhaps it was the sight of Eriol's blood on his fingers, or the new ache in his arm, or the memory of Sakura's ghost once again dancing out his dreams and nightmares in the back, front and middle of his subconcious mind. Whatever it was, his old scars began to burn and he felt dizzy and hot and cold all at once. Somewhere deep inside, something broke and he began to cry. He fought it every step of the way because if there was one thing his mother ever taught him above all else, it was that a warrior of the Li clan _did not cry_, and especially did not cry in the prescence of another and on top of that, especially, especially did not cry in front of an equal or, worse, a superior. But, before he knew what was happening the tears were burning at the edges of his eyes and dry, broken sobs wracked his body. He collapsed face first into his bed and hit his pillow trying to fight out and smother the tears before they could manifest themselves, but he only succeeded in producing a loud choke that made it seem rather like he was dying.

He shuddered and sniffled and tried his very best not to cry for what seemed like an eternity, but was more likely ten minutes, until he couldn't breathe anymore and he shot up, gasping for breath and sobbing louder. When he opened his damp, itchy eyes he saw, to his horror, that Eriol was standing over him with an understanding, but none the less condescending gaze. He froze, body still shaking with repressed tears, afraid that Eriol would hit him again. Or afraid that he would laugh. Or afraid that he would just walk away and say nothing, but he wasn't sure which of these would be the worst.

Instead, Eriol dipped down gracefully and sat along the ridge of the bed. He gently wrapped an arm around Syaoran's shoulder and forced him to lie down, gathering the boy up in his lap. He rested one pale hand in Syaoran's hair and murmered: "Shameful, Xiao Lang. What would your mother think?"


End file.
